The Version Of Yourself That You Recognize Is Not Final

Don’t settle for a life filled with self-imposed limitations

Someone asked me recently, what is the one thing I want to change about myself? What! There’s a lot I want and need to change. I’m convinced that improvements make my life more fulfilled. But real, lasting change requires deliberate and purposeful effort. All the wanting in the world will not motivate me to lift a finger if I don’t believe I can.

The real question isn’t about focusing on the results that come from change. It’s about my willingness to embrace the pain and the discomfort to achieve a higher quality of life.

Why would anyone work towards change when we know discomfort is part of the process? Why do we choose to take on pain, frustration, and worry in place of comfort and security?

If we’re honest, there are areas we know that are screaming out for the need for change. Fear stops us in our tracks because we refuse to confront discomfort. Instead, we would rather slap labels on ourselves like items in a supermarket.

I cement the assumption that I can’t live my dreams or become someone I wanted because of an excuse. I was unwilling to challenge the labels that held me and my potential back. What does it mean to say I’m not a morning person — that I can’t or won’t get up early to finish a workout before the day begins? Or that I’m an Empath, so anything and everything that goes wrong around me must be my fault?

What about calling myself lazy? Does that justify I’ll never be as good as the next person, so I stopped trying? By doing so, I deny myself the privilege of change and the possibility of moving in a different direction.

As we embark on a journey of change, there will come a time when we become uncomfortable with our old selves. We may evolve into someone we don’t recognize. What is more difficult is when we outgrow people, places, or the life we thought we wanted. But that’s part of the process. We discover who we can become along the way.

Throughout our lives, we get to meet different versions of ourselves. There is no fixed version unless we decide it is so. Whether it’s a relationship, career, emotional or physical health, there is always the next level. Even if someone is up in the last few months of their lives, they can still decide to make it their best last few months. Every moment is a moment of decision.

I’ve heard it mentioned many times that we should always be ourselves. But what does that mean? The person we are right now and who we can become tomorrow is not the same. To be myself is an invitation to act stupid and irrational today. That is to say until I learn that I can become wise and have sound judgment tomorrow. We won’t know who we can become until we become one. Till then, that person does not exist.

Therefore, I reckon we can’t be ourselves. We can only be who we are right now because we are a work in progress. If we decide this is who we are — period, we have put a cap on our growth. It doesn’t mean we can’t change, but we have decided we won’t. We are settling for a life filled with self-imposed limitations.

I’m willing to step into the fire, despite knowing I will feel the flames because it matters. It matters that I believe in the person I can become. Like everyone else, I have the potential to become a better version of myself. A version I have not discovered yet. Someone who has a lot more to learn, experience, and explore. It is the willingness to adopt a learner mindset to upgrade the belief underpinning the mental map in my head.

I learn to embrace discomfort by letting go of old concepts and mastering new ones. I face the fear of losing control in certain areas while gaining confidence in others. Even if I have walked the same path for a long time, that does not determine how my story ends. I’m allowed to step onto a different path at any given moment.

It’s time to see that perhaps you’re asking too little of yourself. To ask for more isn’t always about chasing bigger dreams. It’s about prioritizing — what matters to you, what is important and worth fighting. What makes you excited about getting up in the morning? Are you pursuing a better frame of mind?

Your answer would look very different from everyone else. One-size-fits-all usually is never the case. Your ideal life right now may become a poor fit a few years down the road. No matter what it looks like, allow yourself to grow and give yourself space to evolve. Dare to pull the trigger and make that change because you’re always on the cusp of transformation.

Two steps forward, one step back — that’s the rhythm of life. Like the respiratory pattern that rises and falls, we need to allow it to happen.

Consider the challenges you are facing right now. Are you experiencing difficulty with a person or an event? Could it be that it is nothing but a path giving way for something beautiful to form in you? An opportunity that will introduce you to the next version of yourself. You may not know what it is yet, but you need to believe you are capable of that.

Accept responsibility for your life. Remember, there is no destination, only the journey.

This story is in response to Coffee Times March Inspiration Prompt, thanks to Vincent Van Patten.

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