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Losing Someone You Love

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Losing a loved one is an experience that profoundly transforms us, leaving an indelible mark on our lives.

The absence of my father, the first man who ever loved me, has been a challenging journey through grief over the past year.

About my dad

He was a reserved man who, despite his struggles, took immense pride in his daughters. While he rarely displayed his emotions, his love for us was evident in the way his face would light up when he would see us.

I once mentioned getting anger issues from him, and his unexpected reaction showed the depth of his self-hatred, a burden he never wanted us to carry.

As a child, I may have questioned my love for him, but the first time I saw him in pain, I cried.

It was then that I realized the true meaning of love — an unconditional affection that persists despite imperfections.

Expressions of emotion were rare for him, anger being an exception. I believe that it was a defense mechanism to avoid feeling vulnerable.

Recognizing the challenges he faced, I began to give him a warm hug every time I left or returned home, understanding that he needed it.

Those hugs, became everything to me.

His constant battle with illness became a normalized part of our lives.

Even when the doctor said about his limited time unless he quit smoking, we ignored it as we believed it was said to scare him.

My father, the first man who ever loved me, has left behind regrets and pain.

Though the opportunity to express my love to him was cut short, I believe he knew, just as I knew he loved me.

Experiencing the loss

Sculpture by Stéphanie Kilgast

Accepting the reality that one of the most important people in your life won’t be there one day is something you’re never truly prepared for.

Losing someone you love changes you profoundly; you’re never the same. Even if it appears that you have everything, there’s a persistent emptiness.

You begin to appreciate family more, and the fear of losing someone else becomes a constant companion.

I had dreams of ensuring my parents’ well-being and showing them the world’s beauty through financial success.

Time was not on my side, as he left before I could repay him for helping shape the woman I am today.

Living without my dad at this stage in life was an unexpected reality. We only had 22 years together, creating too few memories.

I realised that when you lose someone you love, it’s not just about losing them; it’s also about losing the chance to create more memories and share experiences.

He won’t witness my milestones, take me to the altar, meet my future husband, or meet his nephews.

The changes we face

After losing someone you love, everything changes. Every moment that was meant to be happy becomes tinged with sadness because they weren’t there to witness and experience it with us.

Losing them brings a profound shift in everything.

  • Each moment initially meant for happiness now carries sadness because that special person is no longer there to witness and share those experiences with us.
  • The joyous occasions, once anticipated with excitement, are now shadowed by the awareness of their absence.
  • Celebrations come with a bittersweet feeling, a reminder that they are no longer a part of our physical world.

In these moments, it becomes evident that our reality changed.

Maybe you’ve felt something like this in your own experience of losing someone.

It’s a common truth — the emptiness left by the person who’s gone is deeply felt in our everyday lives.

“How can the dead be truly dead when they still live in the souls of those who are left behind?” – Carson McCullers

Even in the sadness, there’s a realization that the love and memories we had with them stick around, going beyond time and space.

By recognizing these mixed emotions, we connect on a shared understanding of dealing with both the sadness and the lasting love that ties us to the people we miss.

To those who have experienced the profound loss of a loved one, I want you to know that you are not alone in this.

The journey through grief is a unique path for each individual.

Allow yourself to grieve, express your feelings, honor the memories, and remember the love you shared.

Let’s be there for each other and cherish the time we have left, even if it is without them in our life.

How do you navigate through the process of grief?

Thank you for reading!

Image by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash
Grief
Grief And Loss
Life
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