The Ultimate Test Of A Good Person

Forget the trolley problem. This is the greatest ethical test ever conceived.

The shopping cart is the ultimate test of human agency.

Returning a shopping cart to the cart corral takes minimal physical, mental, and emotional effort. It is a universally good, correct action across cultures over the decades since its inception.

Returning the shopping cart is the objectively correct thing to do in all circumstances, excluding rare dire emergencies.

On the flip side, it’s not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. The shopping cart secret police won’t visit your home at night and put two bullets in the back of your head.

Therefore, the shopping cart is undoubtedly the greatest test of whether a person will do what is right on his or her own accord.

You will not be punished for neglecting it like my dad did when he went out for cigarettes. Conversely, you gain nothing from “doing the right thing.” No thank you, no polite nod by an employee, and no key to the city for your deeds. Not one atom in the universe, for billions of years to come, is affected by your choice.

Why return the shopping cart? Simple: Because it is the right thing to do. The correct thing to do. The only thing to do.

A person unable to do this is no better than an animal. They are but a savage in a land made for the civilized. The only way that this “person” does what is right is by threatening them with physical punishment.

The shopping cart dilemma is the single greatest method to determine if a person is objectively beneficial or detrimental to society.