Summary

The website content presents a satirical and humorous take on the trend of end-of-year listicles, featuring absurd and self-referential "Top 5s" across various categories.

Abstract

The "Ultimate List of End of Year Top 5s" is a tongue-in-cheek article that parodies the common practice of creating year-end listicles. It includes a series of bizarre and comical top 5 lists, such as "My 5 Favorite Existential Questions of the Year" and "My 5 Favorite Sex Positions Involving Frozen Dead Chicken of the Year." The author playfully suggests that these lists are unlikely to interest readers unless they are former President Barack Obama. The content is self-aware, poking fun at the author's own ego and the clickbait nature of such articles. It also humorously references the author's personal life, including their children and home activities like floor-licking. The article concludes with a nod to Medium platform-specific content, such as favorite glitches and writers, and a prompt to subscribe to the author's newsletter for more "pro Top 5s."

Opinions

The author mockingly implies that their lists are self-centered and acknowledges the egotistical nature of personal top 5 lists.
There is a humorous suggestion that the content may only be of interest to someone as notable as Barack Obama.
The author makes light of SEO strategies and clickbait titles, recognizing their necessity for viewership while also satirizing them.
The article pokes fun at the Medium platform, highlighting its glitches and the self-promotional nature of writing on the site.
The author uses hyperbole and absurdity to entertain and engage the reader, such as with the inclusion of "My 5 Favorite Sex Positions Involving Frozen Dead Chicken of the Year."
There is a self-deprecating tone in the author's admission of stealing titles and their lack of knowledge about metal music, which they include as a favorite genre merely because it's perceived as cool.

The Ultimate List of End of Year Top 5s

Because we all like a good listicle, am I right?

You want to join the end-of-year wrapping up movement but don’t know what to wrap, nor your up from your down?

I’m here to help.

This is the ultimate list of List of End of Year Top 5s that are guaranteed to not interest your readers; unless your first name is Barack and your last name is Obama.

Here we go.

Random Top 5s

My 5 Favorite Existential Questions of the Year - #1 Should I start all my lists with “My” or is it obvious I’m egotistical and self-centered?

My 5 Favorite Side Notes of the Year - If you need top 10s, multiply the top 5s by two. - If you need top 3s, I can’t do anything for you.

My 5 Favorite Footnotes of the Year - Goes hand in foot with My 5 Favorite Handnotes of the Year

My 5 Favorite ‘Yelling in the Middle of the Supermarket’ Kids of the Year - Fun fact my son comes in positions 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

My 5 Favorite Families of the Year - Why mine never makes it to the top, I wonder.

Restrooms and licking the floor Top 5s

My 5 Favorite Restaurant Restrooms of the Year - Alternative: My 5 Favorite Non-Restaurant Restrooms of the Year

My 5 Favorite Home Spots to Lick the Floor of the Year - Bathroom and kitchen are in the top 3

My 5 Favorite Neighbor’s Homes Spots to Lick the Floor of the Year - Bathroom and kitchen still in top 3

My 5 Favorite Street Spots to Lick the Floor of the Year - Also availabe: My 5 Favorite Diseases I Got from Licking the Floor of the Year

Sexy Top 5s

My 5 Favorite Blowjobs of the Year - Would be nice to get 5.

My 5 Favorite Sex Positions of the Year - This one gets you views, people.

My 5 Favorite Sex Positions Involving Frozen Dead Chicken of the Year - What can I say? Read this, and you might want to give it a try!

My 5 Favorite Sex Positions Involving Licking the Floor of the Year - I would read that one

Money Making Top 5s

My 5 Favorite SEO Keywords of the Year - This one is to get your external hits, folks.

My 5 Favorite Side Hustles of the Year - See above.

My 5 Favorite Ingredients to Put On a Pizza of the Year - Pineapple makes it to the top every year.

My 5 Favorite Ingredients to Put under a Pizza of the Year - Just to restore the balance in the pizzaverse.

My 5 Favorite People to Tag in Any of My Posts - Yes, I’m doing this. Rocky Shores, Carol Lennox, Reuben Salsa, Eva Grape, BichoDoMato

My 5 Favorite Metal Music Genre of the Year - I have no clue about metal, but I read it’s cool to like metal

My 5 Favorite ‘Lifehacks to Massively Increase Your Creative Output Before 10 AM by Doing this Five Silly Things Elon Musk’s Been Doing for Years Before He Fired His Assistant for Asking for a Raise’ of the Year - I stole the title from Zane Dickens — if anybody cares. Maybe Zane does.

My 5 Favorite Stolen Titles of the Year - #1 is above

My 5 Favorite Clickbait Titles of the Year - Yes, it also includes the one above.

Medium Top 5s

My 5 Favorite Medium Glitches of the Year - Maybe a top 10 is needed here.

My 5 Favorite Algorithms of the Year - I guess Medium’s not gonna make it.

My 5 Favorite Medium Publications of the Year - Pro-tip — don’t forget to add the one in which you publish your article.

My 5 Favorite Medium Writers of the Year - Pick me. I gave you the idea.

This was the free version of the Top ‘Top 5s of the Year.’ Subscribe to my newsletter and upgrade to pro Top 5s. No need to follow me; I’ll show up in your feed.