The Two Times I Overlooked Racist Comments

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Abstract

college and stayed in the dorms, but I had no desire to stay on campus. I searched for apartments near college, as the area was racially diverse.The first apartment I visited, I arrived to the apartment showing before the owner. So, I decided to look around the property. In doing so, I noticed an older white woman, that lived next door, looking out her front door at me. As I walked along the side of the property, going to the backyard, I noticed that same lady looking out her back door.I decided to rent that apartment, and lived there for approximately four years. That next door neighbor was a busybody, but turned out to be nice. Given that she was a senior citizen, occasionally, I would help her carry in her groceries. There was one occasion when she told me, “You’re one of the nice Blacks”. Immediately, I froze in place, then regrouped my thoughts.Knowingly, she was a senior citizen and, I was trying to be respectful of that, as I was raised to respect my elders. However, whenever a person of color hears a racist statement like that, we almost, immediately, go into attack mode. But, I overlooked her comment, changed the subject, and left shortly thereafter.Thereafter, I lived in other apartments, bought homes, and ten years later I bought a luxurious condo in the suburbs. Of all the times my real estate agent and I visited this condo, before I bought it, the building was thoroughly clean, the grounds were nicely landscaped, and the other owners were never outside.<p

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id="9693">After I moved in, I realized I was the only Black owner in that building. However, the other owners were extremely neighborly. But, there was one occasion when I was taking some of my things down to my storage unit. I got onto the elevator, and there was an older white man, approximately 80 years old, along with his son. We all spoke to each other. Then, that older man looked at me and asked, “Whose things are you moving?”, assuming that I’m a mover, instead of his neighbor.“Sir, these are my things. I’m your new neighbor,” I responded, with a smile, noticing the man’s son shaking his head, out of embarrassment for his father.So, those are the two times in my adult life that I ignored racist comments. There may have been other times when I’ve heard something, but didn’t act upon it, because not all people and/or comments require your attention and/or energy. We have to choose our battles. But, in the situations with the older adults that were senior citizens, I didn’t waste my time, or energy, becoming irate with them.As we get older, most of us learn to shun hateful comments and people. Over the years, I’ve learned we can kill a person with kindness. Not saying that we shouldn’t defend ourselves, but rather respond in a more dignified manner, and with a pleasant tone. That’s my first approach, but situations differ, and require different reactions. Overall, we all should practice kindness.© <a href="undefined">Tony Young, Jr.</a> 7/20</article></body>

Despite ignorance, we have to choose our battles.

I’m a Black man, and I can assure you I’ve had my share of racist interactions. Facing such encounters will, undoubtedly, make you upset. It’s one of those pains that are unimaginable, because you don’t understand why you have to endure it and, until you’ve experienced racism, you can’t fully relate. Racism is taught, learned, ignored, and hated.

Shockingly, I didn’t realize what racism was until around the age of ten. I’ve heard conversations from friends and family regarding the issue, as a child, but didn’t grasp the true meaning. There was that one day when my cousins and I were outside playing, and a few white guys came by and said the “N” word. Then, one of the white guys said he would “Q” us. They didn’t touch us, and we didn’t feel threatened. More than anything, we were trying to figure out what “Q” meant. My cousins and I were all around 10 years old, and the other guys were teenagers. Nothing happened, as those guys walked away.

Years later, when I became a young adult, I wanted my own apartment. Many went to college and stayed in the dorms, but I had no desire to stay on campus. I searched for apartments near college, as the area was racially diverse.

The first apartment I visited, I arrived to the apartment showing before the owner. So, I decided to look around the property. In doing so, I noticed an older white woman, that lived next door, looking out her front door at me. As I walked along the side of the property, going to the backyard, I noticed that same lady looking out her back door.

I decided to rent that apartment, and lived there for approximately four years. That next door neighbor was a busybody, but turned out to be nice. Given that she was a senior citizen, occasionally, I would help her carry in her groceries. There was one occasion when she told me, “You’re one of the nice Blacks”. Immediately, I froze in place, then regrouped my thoughts.

Knowingly, she was a senior citizen and, I was trying to be respectful of that, as I was raised to respect my elders. However, whenever a person of color hears a racist statement like that, we almost, immediately, go into attack mode. But, I overlooked her comment, changed the subject, and left shortly thereafter.

Thereafter, I lived in other apartments, bought homes, and ten years later I bought a luxurious condo in the suburbs. Of all the times my real estate agent and I visited this condo, before I bought it, the building was thoroughly clean, the grounds were nicely landscaped, and the other owners were never outside.

After I moved in, I realized I was the only Black owner in that building. However, the other owners were extremely neighborly. But, there was one occasion when I was taking some of my things down to my storage unit. I got onto the elevator, and there was an older white man, approximately 80 years old, along with his son. We all spoke to each other. Then, that older man looked at me and asked, “Whose things are you moving?”, assuming that I’m a mover, instead of his neighbor.

“Sir, these are my things. I’m your new neighbor,” I responded, with a smile, noticing the man’s son shaking his head, out of embarrassment for his father.

So, those are the two times in my adult life that I ignored racist comments. There may have been other times when I’ve heard something, but didn’t act upon it, because not all people and/or comments require your attention and/or energy. We have to choose our battles. But, in the situations with the older adults that were senior citizens, I didn’t waste my time, or energy, becoming irate with them.

As we get older, most of us learn to shun hateful comments and people. Over the years, I’ve learned we can kill a person with kindness. Not saying that we shouldn’t defend ourselves, but rather respond in a more dignified manner, and with a pleasant tone. That’s my first approach, but situations differ, and require different reactions. Overall, we all should practice kindness.