The Two Positive Slaps in My Face

Summary

The author reflects on two instances where close friends provided constructive criticism that was initially perceived as a shock but ultimately recognized as valuable advice for personal growth.

Abstract

The narrative describes the author's experiences with two friends who, through their candid feedback, offered life-changing advice. Initially, the author felt hurt and misunderstood when a friend pointed out that her mocking behavior was not well-received. Later, another friend highlighted the author's tendency to give orders, which was also unexpectedly perceived as negative. These moments of candid feedback, referred to as "positive slaps," led to self-reflection and a greater understanding of the importance of respecting personal boundaries and considering the impact of one's actions on others. The author expresses gratitude for these lessons and acknowledges the value of true friendship in personal development.

Opinions

The author initially believed that her behavior was acceptable and that her intentions were clear to her friends.
The first friend's advice to "stop mocking people" was a wake-up call that made the author realize that her humor could be hurtful.
The second friend's frustration with being ordered around made the author aware of her domineering tendencies and the need to respect personal boundaries.
The author values the honesty and depth of her friendships, recognizing that true acceptance includes being open to criticism and growth.
The author emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and the role it plays in maintaining healthy relationships.

How my dearest friends shocked me, then it turned out to be the best pieces of advice

When I started my study at the university, she was one of the very first colleagues I met, she carried the same first name as me and we were alphabetically distributed into sections, so we became partners at the same section. We shared many things together and became best friends.

I felt very free with her, don’t think of words before saying it, and I loved that feeling of being myself and being totally accepted as well.

Then one day, she sent me a message, I read and started crying, not for anything except that I felt that the one whom I thought was totally understanding me wasn’t actually doing.

In her message, she told me to stop mocking people!! And that it wasn’t a good thing to do!

I was like, I want to do whatever I want in front of her and still be interpreted as good intentions, as I didn’t feel I’m doing something wrong!

Now when I think of it, I’ve realized that maybe my raising up used to consider kinds of mocking things said by people in front of them, for instance, is just kidding and a sense of humor!

And after I had shown her then some upset because of the feeling of not being understood and she reconciled me, I want to thank her a million for this positive slap!

After I finished high school, I knew a girl who turned out to be the best person I’ve ever known and the best friend I’d ever ask for!

She believed in me, we encouraged each other to do beautiful things, she loved me sincerely.

And the same scenario of me acting very freely and being happy for feeling totally accepted happened.

But this time the advice was different.

I didn’t realize I was making something wrong until she once told me while she was annoyed, “Stop ordering me!”

I felt a slap in my face and also shocked for not taking my attitude as having good intentions! I dropped some tears too maybe.

I acted quieter and then realized that I was actually giving orders and thinking that I was breaking the borders between us and becoming closer friends! Like, “Do this for me now!” and showing that I’m faking a kidding evil tone, but yes, this isn’t humor and yes, even the closest friends; each has borders that you must respect!

You can totally be accepted and loved, and take care of how other people receive your acts too, thinking of the word before saying it is not always a sign of farness! And for my good luck, I still have both of those sincere friends.