The Trouble with Anthony Bourdain

The much-loved chef and TV presenter might be with us today if he’d done one thing

I’ve just read Tom Vitale’s excellent book, In the Weeds — Around the World and Behind the Scenes with Anthony Bourdain. I love behind-the-scene glimpses into worlds otherwise denied me.

As a journalist, it was great to gain access to people and places that I was curious about and to be able to go to out-of-the-way places to get the story.

Travel writing was a high point in my career when I edited a couple of travel mags back in the ’90s. The adventure was the thing.

So reading about the backstory to the highly successful and wonderfully charismatic Bourdain and the making of his TV programs No Reservations and Parts Unknown (mainly) is fascinating.

He came to Auckland about 15 years ago while I was working on the New Zealand Herald and I thought it’d be great to sit down with him, but the palaver involved was too much so I reluctantly let go of the idea. His management seemed to be there to prevent access to him rather than enable it.

I’m an old-school journo and had become used to getting the phone number of my subject and calling them up myself. When journalism started getting weird and public relations people started getting in the way, it was time to get out.

Full disclosure: I kind of fancied him (who wouldn’t?) and my motivation wasn’t entirely journalistic. But I was a food writer at the time so I did have some questions . . .

I’ve read most of Bourdain’s books and seen some of his excellent television so knew that heroin had been his drug of choice back in the day. He’d quit, of course, but on camera he seemed often to appear with a drink in his hand and sometimes even looked quite intoxicated.

So this got me wondering if our Tony had swapped one addiction for another — i.e. the demon drink.

Vitale’s book pulls no punches in that regard — the whole television production around Tony seemed quite bacchanalian. Cannabis features as well as great drinking binges.

I know film crews — they work hard and play hard. Long days often turn into long nights on the grog and other drugs and Tony’s shoots were no exception.

I’m not exaggerating; the much-loved front man seemed like something of a monster. He displayed all the traits of an alcoholic/addict in active addiction — bullying, controlling, sometimes violent behaviour one moment, and then charming, manipulative good guy the next.

The people who worked with him walked on eggshells much of the time, not knowing which Tony would turn up on set. Other times his generosity would be overwhelming, buying the crew expensive watches and being effusively big-hearted.

In the aptly named book and after Bourdain takes his own life, Vitale decides to go and have a talk with Asia Argento, Tony’s girlfriend with whom he had a troubled relationship. Vitale wants to confront her and blame her for Bourdain’s death. He hanged himself only days after Argento reportedly called the relationship off.

She explains to Vitale that this was not true — she had got a dream job and wanted to throw herself into that, plus had told Bourdain that her children were her priority: kids first, job second, Tony third.

For someone like Bourdain, this must have seemed too much to bear — not being front and centre of a beautiful woman’s focus — and he killed himself.

When I heard news of his tragic death I was shocked but not surprised. And reading the book confirmed my original fears that this talented man was simply continuing his addiction and not getting the help he so desperately needed. He was indeed in the weeds.

It’s dangerous to quit one drug, continue with another and not do the work that recovery from addiction requires. The addict brain is a powerful mechanism; it’s only job is to get us to use — something, anything.

In my work as an addiction therapist, I often see people cross-addict when they give up their drug of choice.

The addict brain isn’t choosy and therefore can’t tell the difference between what’s in a bottle or a hypodermic syringe or a pill or a pipe or a person — the list goes on.

It’s all about the high

As long as the addict brain gets its high in some way — and the dopamine produced when we’re in ‘love’ is just another drug — it’s achieving what it’s designed to do.

Bourdain was in denial about the disastrous effects that alcohol was having on his brain which was being hijacked by a very powerful substance and he was depressed because of it.

He made the decision to take the permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I believe that if Tony had chosen to live a sober life and had been able to see the benefits of recovery using the 12 Steps, he might be with us today, and perhaps producing even better television.

Thanks for reading.

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