The Trauma of “We Are Processing This Story. Hang Tight!”

Summary

The article discusses the frustrating experience of Medium writers waiting for their stories to be processed and the emotional toll it takes, especially when facing rejection or prolonged waiting periods.

Abstract

The author of the article expresses the common experience of Medium writers who eagerly await the processing of their newly published stories by Medium curators. This process, which determines whether a story will be promoted, can be a source of anxiety and emotional trauma, particularly for new writers. The author humorously describes their personal struggle with waiting for their stories to be processed, including the impact on their daily life and mental health. The article also touches on the importance of quality writing and proper tag usage, as advised by Medium's guidelines and various articles on gaining a following. The author reflects on the lessons learned from this experience, including handling rejection and the realization of personal resilience.

Opinions

The process of Medium curators reviewing stories is seen as a source of stress and is likened to an emotional rollercoaster, with seasoned writers being more nonchalant and new writers experiencing significant anxiety.
The author expresses a sense of humor about their own anxiety, joking about the impact on their eating and sleeping habits, and their therapist's response to their concerns.
There is a perception that Medium's curation process is opaque and that the platform's feedback, such as labeling an article "Not distributed in topics," can feel dismissive and demotivating.
The article suggests that the quality of writing is often judged by automated tools like Grammarly rather than human judgment, which may undermine the writer's own assessment of their work.
Tag usage is highlighted as a critical factor in the success of a Medium story, with certain tags perceived as essential for visibility.
The author satirizes the Medium curators by comparing them to the Capital citizens from "The Hunger Games," implying a sense of detachment and elitism.
Despite the challenges, the author acknowledges personal growth from the experience, including learning to cope with rejection and recognizing their own strength.

Medium, what have I done to wrong you?

Don’t mind me, just waiting on Medium. (Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash)

You released a new story. Better yet, the publication accepted it. Huzzah!

A few hours later, you click on “Stats”. What…the… “We are processing this story. Hang tight!”..what is that?

For seasoned Medium writers, this is a shoulder shrug and an eye-roll at best. For new writers, it’s an agonizing wait that is nothing short of emotional trauma.

“We are processing this story. Hang tight!” means Medium curators are sorting through all stories to determine which ones are worthy of their promoted pages. Like the Student Council Leadership Committee counting votes, you are the underdog-uncool-nerd up against thousands of prom queens and football quarterbacks.

I have two stories currently in the “processing” status. One of them I have waited five days. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Okay well, I ate 3 cookies this morning and some raisin toast but emotionally I’m not eating. My therapist lets my messages go straight to voicemail; she explains that other patients are suffering real trauma from this pandemic and this is rather insignificant. Well, Susan forwarded a meme on Facebook that coronavirus barely kills anyone, so I don’t appreciate my therapist brushing off my anxiety.

In the likely event that your story doesn’t give Medium curators a hard-on, they label your article “Not distributed in topics”. In other words, a sneer and a middle finger. “You thought you were a good writer? You were wrong, sucka!”

Try to use the rejection as an opportunity to grow yourself as an author. According to every Medium article on gaining 100 billion followers, authors must focus on the quality of their writing and proper tag usage.

Quality of writing is best determined not through humans but through a system like Grammarly that solemnly judges your writing behind its omnipotent eyes. You, the writer, can’t judge good writing. But a Grammarly software developer, that is someone with communication skills and authority on written words.

Tag usage is tricky. With only five choices, the correct ones make or break your success. Googling this topic taught me that if you don’t have “Life”, “Life Lessons”, “Technology” and “Entrepreneur” tags, then you’re fucked. If you tag your How I Overcame My Gambling Addiction story with “Politics”, you’re almost certainly going to get approved by the Medium curators, which I suspect look at a lot like Capital citizens from Hunger Games.

Is this what processing my story looks like? (Image credits: Color Force/The Hunger Games/Youtube/MovieFlame)

If your story does pass muster, your stats page reads “Distributed by curators in ”. You’re worthy! Kick back, relax, let the viral magic of the interwebs deliver readers and earnings.

So far in my first week on Medium, I have been curated twice. I’m ready to buy my yacht once my 45 cent earnings start skyrocketing. That should take 16 years, give or take a decade. Which name do you think works best for a boat: Curating the Waters or It Took 4 Years of Waiting for Medium Writers to Curate My Story and All I Have Is This Fucking Boat to Show for It?

As I approach Day 6 of story processing, I’ve learned a lot about life. I learned that my therapist is a dick. I learned how to handle rejection with grace (I no longer throw my laptop against the wall in a fit of rage when my stories aren’t distributed in topics). I learned that with compound interest, my yacht will most likely be a backyard kiddie pool.

Most of all, I learned that I am stronger than I believed. That is the most important lesson of all.