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and VIP passes. I thought I was going to get my own sitcom and a ride on the penis rocket soon, but no. The next phase of my fame was the CBD mafia would use my image to sell drugs.</p><figure id="2993"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*c_jOQHxJUqW9OFouIw7Cuw.png"><figcaption>Author image. Pulled from the internet, my image was being used to sell drugs.</figcaption></figure><p id="e1ab">That’s the thing about the CBD mafia. If you are remotely interesting to the public, they come after your name and your image. I was mindlessly scrolling the internet when I saw it. I didn’t even know it was out there.</p><p id="a291">The headline read <b><i>What Happened to Amy Sea?</i></b></p><p id="e938">I was terrified. What happened to me? I’ve always wondered if famous people experience confusion when they read headlines about themselves. Like, did I get a divorce? Am I in rehab? Does my family hate me? Did I sleep with my drama teacher in high school? Am I vegan?</p><figure id="0deb"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*jWEPPLFw2jRKDhn5fKQMUQ.png"><figcaption>Author image. The last known photo of Amy Sea before this terrible thing happened that will eventually be revealed to you. She looks tired. Don’t you think she looks tired? Look at those lines under her eyes. Do you think she’s okay or should her fans call the fuzz for a wellness check? Do the kids still say fuzz? Or is it po-po?</figcaption></figure><p id="b4c2">I immediately scanned my brain for my sins. Was I too close to Matt Lauer? Had I left my starter husband for someone with more status and wealth? Had I gotten too fat and my public was concerned about my

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mental health?</p><p id="45f5">Had I gotten too thin with illegal growth hormones and I was essentially a smuggler? Were my kids in a cult? Was I difficult to do sex scenes with because I had multiple STDs since I only slept with male prostitutes? Was I living in a trailer inside a landfill hill at the bottom of a river?</p><p id="b094"><b><i>What had happened to Amy Sea?</i></b></p><p id="0ce3"><b><i>Where was Amy Sea now?</i></b></p><p id="8f9f">I clicked.</p><p id="16a0">I was almost relieved when I saw I was only selling CBD. Phew. I was genuinely worried about what happened to me. I love CBD. It’s helping my arthritis, puts my baby to sleep, cures my hangovers, sleeps with my co-stars, cooks for my husband. This CBD does it all, man.</p><p id="1703">So, if you’re interested, send 209.99 to johnsmith@cashonly. The first two boxes are free but then it’s auto-renewal and broken bones if you decide you don’t need THC supplements anymore. Buy now!</p><p id="3cc0">Thanks, Gary Chapin for helping punch up the obscure</p><div id="7aad" class="link-block"> <a href="https://aculberg007.medium.com/subscribe"> <div> <div> <h2>Get an email whenever Amy Sea publishes.</h2> <div><h3>Get an email whenever Amy Sea publishes. If you want to laugh or read about breasts, I'm your writer! By signing up…</h3></div> <div><p>aculberg007.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*3L7R-xXTHM_idSbW)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

THE HIGH PRICE OF FAME

The Tragic End of Amy Sea and CBD

I’m famous, so something tragic happened to me, but that’s okay because I can give you a free month of CBD

Author photo connected to the headline which sucked you in and made you think I was in jail, hit someone with my car when I was speeding or did some other horrible thing that activated your schadenfreude

The hardest part about being famous is how I’ve been forced into CBD distribution. I can handle the paparazzi, the stalkers, sleeping around to get movie roles, but this CBD selling is crossing the line.

Before the CBD Mafia targeted me, I really thought Tommy Chong, Katie Couric, and Matt Damon were voluntarily selling CBD. I thought that was the new inside track to keep famous people richer than the civilians. But, no, they were as much victims as I turned out to be.

I had accumulated a larger audience lately because I had been trending. I’d written a best-selling expose describing how everyone around me screwed up but I overcame it and look at me now.

I had a baby at 57. There was a little controversy around harvesting teenage girl organs but nothing my publicist couldn't reframe.

I shot a man in the middle of 5th avenue but he was friends with Jeffrey Epstein, and the Queen didn’t know what to do with Prince Andrew anyway, so she knighted me.

I thought fame was going to be private beaches, free iPhones and VIP passes. I thought I was going to get my own sitcom and a ride on the penis rocket soon, but no. The next phase of my fame was the CBD mafia would use my image to sell drugs.

Author image. Pulled from the internet, my image was being used to sell drugs.

That’s the thing about the CBD mafia. If you are remotely interesting to the public, they come after your name and your image. I was mindlessly scrolling the internet when I saw it. I didn’t even know it was out there.

The headline read What Happened to Amy Sea?

I was terrified. What happened to me? I’ve always wondered if famous people experience confusion when they read headlines about themselves. Like, did I get a divorce? Am I in rehab? Does my family hate me? Did I sleep with my drama teacher in high school? Am I vegan?

Author image. The last known photo of Amy Sea before this terrible thing happened that will eventually be revealed to you. She looks tired. Don’t you think she looks tired? Look at those lines under her eyes. Do you think she’s okay or should her fans call the fuzz for a wellness check? Do the kids still say fuzz? Or is it po-po?

I immediately scanned my brain for my sins. Was I too close to Matt Lauer? Had I left my starter husband for someone with more status and wealth? Had I gotten too fat and my public was concerned about my mental health?

Had I gotten too thin with illegal growth hormones and I was essentially a smuggler? Were my kids in a cult? Was I difficult to do sex scenes with because I had multiple STDs since I only slept with male prostitutes? Was I living in a trailer inside a landfill hill at the bottom of a river?

What had happened to Amy Sea?

Where was Amy Sea now?

I clicked.

I was almost relieved when I saw I was only selling CBD. Phew. I was genuinely worried about what happened to me. I love CBD. It’s helping my arthritis, puts my baby to sleep, cures my hangovers, sleeps with my co-stars, cooks for my husband. This CBD does it all, man.

So, if you’re interested, send 209.99 to johnsmith@cashonly. The first two boxes are free but then it’s auto-renewal and broken bones if you decide you don’t need THC supplements anymore. Buy now!

Thanks, Gary Chapin for helping punch up the obscure

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