The Toxic Individual

Stand Your Ground; Spell Out the Facts in His Face

I hate toxic people, but they are among us. Unhealthy Relationships occur; learn how to confront and stand up for yourself. But please don't allow it to consume you. It complicates your life, burdens you, and wastes your valuable time.

I dealt with a pathological liar in my family growing up. It is a toxic relationship that constantly aggravates and burdens you. You can never take them at their word. They try to draw you into their web of deceit. And you are always on edge trying to figure them out. Are they telling the truth this time, or is it one of their manipulative lies? Did I miss something? Did I overlook something;? I agonize over every possible explanation and scenario to make sense of their lies. What a waste of time.

Toxic individuals brazenly will steal from you, be it money, favors, or your valuable time. They always want something from you and do not intend to repay you. Don't expect a favor in return, not even a thank you. You will be waiting for an eternity. And in return, you are burdened by their perfect little lies and excuses for your disappointments.

The story gets even murkier. First, the toxic individual will weave so many lies that inevitably, you will end up fighting with other people. Then, the toxic person will blame you for his own mistakes to others. And now all your friends are not speaking to you, and you have no idea why.

You become paranoid and paralyzed the more you interact with the toxic individual. Your world becomes a cloud of lies and betrayal. Liars want something from you and are determined to take it by hook or crook. Your toxic little friend doesn't care who gets hurt; all they care about is that they win, no matter the cost. Hell, the ends justify the means.

The liar says, "If lying and cheating can get what I want, so be it." And the liar flaunts how easily he has lied to you as proof of him being more intelligent than you; they outwitted you. Finally, the liar smiles with a gleam in their eye and tells you point-blank, "You fell for the lies I told you. You are the stupid fool. I was smarter and better than you because I easily duped you." He stands tall and gloats as you look confused and depressed, trying to make sense out of all the confusion.

I understand why honest people run from pathological liars because toxic individuals create a minefield full of lies and deceit that explodes in the victim's face whenever they seek the truth. The liar throws one deception after another like grenades from the back of a truck, making it harder for you to continue in your path. It only frustrates you to the point that it finally drains and confuses you ad nausea. You want to distance yourself from them. Even if it means losing, you want to get as far from the toxic individual as possible at any price. Don't be friendly and ignore what the toxic individual is doing because it will get worse and unbearable. The toxic individual prides himself on how easily he took advantage of you; he says, "I'll do it again. I duped him once; I can easily fool him again and again. I can probably get more from him the second time around."

There are two ways to deal with a toxic individual. Unfortunately, the toxic individual doesn't wear a danger sign across their chest. There isn't a tattoo that reads "TOXIC" across his forehead. Instead, they specialize in using camouflage and lures to draw their prey in. These are the drop-dead gorgeous vixens that never break a nail because they promise sweet nothing to their unsuspecting men. Or it's the flashy moneybag who tells the world how much money he has but never picks up the restaurant bill.

There are two ways to deal with toxic individuals. First of all, they are narcissists. They have self-proclaimed themselves as God's gift to humanity. They expect world attention and special treatment. Everyone owes them, and they are entitled to a free ride. Set them straight on this point.

If they haven't taken much from you, then let them go. Ignore them. Cross them out of your life. They are not worth the grief. Don't invest any time with them. But, first of all, this will piss them off. They expect that they are the center of the universe. Second, they will move on and leave you alone. Third, they are like a parasite; if they can't feed off of you, they will move on and latch on to some other poor unsuspecting soul.

If the toxic individual has taken advantage of you, then confront them. Call them out on every lie and treacherous act they have committed against you. Don't accept their rebuttals or excuses; continue with your litany of abuses and offenses. Press for unconditional remuneration and restitution that you rightly deserve. It's non-negotiable; it's on your terms. Often, they will interrupt and deny any wrongdoing. If they are adamant that they are innocent or are confused about why they are being confronted, go above them with your complaints. Take your objection to a higher level, to your superiors, boss, police, or lawyer. It's not so much that you will get back what you lost, but let the toxic individual know there are consequences in being manipulative or insidious. Turn the situation around and make it difficult for them also. Remember, toxic individuals would rather lie and cheat to get ahead than work for it.

We all get burned once in a while. Remember these saying when you are dealing with a toxic individual.

"Only a fool dances with the devil twice.

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."

"Once bitten, twice shy."

Don't get burned twice.

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