The Third Soul

A conversation with his mother

The three souls met in the planning room. They had already agreed that two of them would create a body for the third to enter into. But there were still some specifics to iron out.

The third soul looked at the soul that would be his mother, “I want you to be the most terrible mother you can be. I need a love-free dysfunctional childhood that truly challenges me and sets me up in just the right mental state to follow the path I have chosen for my adulthood. If I have a happy childhood then I’ll never be prompted towards my chosen path. Can you do that?”

“No problem. With all the karmic issues I’ll be dealing with I’ll be in just the right pathological state to make your childhood a living hell. And after what you did to me in that one life I think it should be easy.”

“Good. Remember, never praise me, never lift me up. Always, always put me down. No love. No encouragement. Make me feel as bad about myself as you possibly can. I’ll try to do my part to help you by being a horrible brat. I will eventually really appreciate it.”

“Okey dokey.”

The third soul got the terrible dysfunctional childhood that he asked for. His life was full of drama and trauma and angst and struggle and hate and fear. It was not until he was in his late thirties that he finally found success as a producer and director of psychological horror movies. The movies were all about children who suffered great emotional turmoil in the form of ghosts and phantoms and pathological adults who preyed on them. In his fifties he won a prestigious award.

It was soon after winning that award that he was notified by a sibling that his mother was in the hospital on her deathbed. She was at the very final stages of Alzheimer’s. He had not flown home to see her in a few years. There was not much point since her mind was so far gone that she did not even recognize him.

So the third soul flew back home to go to the hospital and see his mother for what surely would be the last time.

There was a nurse in the room when he entered.

“How is she?”

“I won’t lie. It’s not looking very good. We’re really surprised that she has hung on this long. She’s in a coma right now but people in comas can still hear you so feel free to say anything you want to her. They may be your last words to her. I’ll give you some privacy but I’ll be back in just a little bit.”

The nurse left.

He stared at his mother for a long time. There were various tubes going in and out of her. She looked so old, her bones showing through her wrinkled skin.

Finally he spoke to her, “Mother. It’s me. I’m here to tell you that I love you. And I’m sorry I was so mean to you. And I forgive you for every mean thing you did to me. I also forgive myself. In some strange way it was all perfect somehow. I want you to know that underneath our severely dysfunctional relationship there really was a love that connected us. I’ve known it and felt it.”

“Listen, there is nothing for you to feel bad about. You were the best mother that you could be. But now it’s time to let go. There is nothing left to cling to. Don’t be afraid. Let go. Surrender. There is a lot of adventure ahead for you. Your next life will surely seem like a vacation after this life. There is more life and more love awaiting you. You deserve the joy that lies ahead. There is no need for any regret or any sorrow. You were a good person and you were loved much more than you know. It will feel good to let go and release all your burdens. You can feel good about what lies ahead.”

Just then the nurse returned to the room, “How is she doing? Did you get enough time?”

“Yes, we are finished. Thank you.”

He walked down the corridor to a panel of windows that looked out on the hospital courtyard. He stared at the trees and birds and bushes and flowers. It all seemed so peaceful. He felt sadness but there were no tears. He felt lighter somehow as the peacefulness of the courtyard washed over him.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps behind him. He turned to see a doctor and a nurse running down the corridor and go into the room where his mother was. Then another nurse came running down the corridor and went into that room.

Very slowly, he walked toward the room. Just as he reached it the nurse he had spoken to came out of the room.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m so very sorry but your mother just passed away.”

Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. White Feather Archive Index

Speaking of mothers…