The Therapisation of Sober Influencer Culture

I’ve been in the online sober space for just over three years. During that time I have founded my own sober community, featured on sobriety podcasts, written about my addiction story for Stylist magazine and Business Insider, and I am a regular contributor at Low No Drinker magazine.

When I first got sober I was looking for connection; I didn’t know anyone around me who didn’t drink or take drugs and so went to the internet to find a community I could relate to. I found a heap of resources and helpful sobriety content to scroll through. I needed their support, places like Club Soda, Sober Girl Society and Sober and Social; these all provided me with information about sobriety that I could use to aid my own journey.

Sober influencer culture has taken off with people such as Millie Gooch, founder of the Sober Girl Society, gaining popularity – her membership now stands at 216 thousand – and as a sober gal myself, this is brilliant to witness. I also enjoy following comedian and writer Michael Sargood, founder of Sober News; consultant, writer and mentor Africa Brooke; author and presenter Bryony Gordon; and author and podcast host Caggie Dunlop. These people are important figures who are proudly sober. The way they discuss their journey to sobriety is personal and unobtrusive – never crossing the line of being too preachy or arrogant.

I noticed a change in the approach to sobriety as I became more immersed in the recovery space on instagram. I enjoyed the memes but I couldn’t help noticing the tone grow slightly more didactic; as though people were trying to teach me how to be sober, rather than just show me. At first I put it down to newly sober advocates, eager to promote how great a clean lifestyle really is, but I saw a vast increase in these type of accounts cropping up as time went on.

I know that I’ve been given the gift of a long-term sobriety that I’m certain I won’t stray from and naturally, this makes me a person sober-curious people look up to. I often get questions about how I managed to do it; what methods did I use? Which groups did I join? My answer is always the same: I explain how I did it and then I offer this disclaimer, “my journey is individualistic to me, you will find your own ways that work for you”. This I believe to be the best, most meaningful advice for others.

I’ve had trouble with the growing noise in the online sober space that state things such as “follow this programme and you’ll be fixed”, or “I’m a Sober Coach that can help you achieve the same” but a closer look at these profiles indicate zero coaching experience or certified qualifications. I believe it’s detrimental to promise sobriety to someone with an addiction, even in AA groups they don’t state this and these are practises that have been around for centuries, because guess what? Sobriety isn’t a quick-fix or something that can be coached out of you by another person; it’s a reoccurring choice we have to make every single day.

There is no one method to sobriety, we have to find our own unique road to recovery, and yes this sometimes means support groups, online courses or signing up to a program but don’t be fooled into thinking that just because Ruth on the internet says you have to wake up at 5am, drink green juice and run a 5k before starting work means it will work.

I’m not asking for people who genuinely want to help people get sober to gate-keep their tools for recovery but I do believe that we have to be clear that not only will our journeys differ – and quite drastically too – no one else is responsible for your sobriety except you.