Summary

The article discusses the term "High-Value Man," originally used by the Female Dating Strategy (FDS) subreddit to describe desirable male partners, and how it has been co-opted and distorted by Red Pill and incel communities to serve their own agendas.

Abstract

The concept of a "High-Value Man" has been appropriated by men's rights activists and incels, altering its original meaning as defined by the Female Dating Strategy (FDS) subreddit. The FDS community uses the term to refer to men who are emotionally mature, supportive, and respectful of women's rights, contrasting with the Red Pill ideology that equates high value with financial success and dominance over women. The article highlights the disturbing trend of men using the term to justify misogynistic behavior and the silencing of women's voices, reflecting a broader pattern of right-wing co-opting of progressive terminology. The author emphasizes that the true characteristics of a high-value man are those that contribute to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship, and laments the term's misuse by groups promoting toxic masculinity.

Opinions

The author believes that the term "High-Value Man" has been misappropriated by Red Pill and incel communities, diverting from its original, more positive connotations on the FDS subreddit.
There is a critique of men who self-identify as "High-Value Men" based on superficial or misogynistic criteria, such as financial success or expecting submission from women.
The article suggests that the FDS's definition of a "High-Value Man" is more aligned with what healthy women desire in a partner: emotional maturity, respect, and mutual support.
The author points out the irony and hypocrisy in men who claim to be high-value yet exhibit behaviors that are the opposite of what would make them desirable partners.
There is a concern about the broader implications of language co-opting by right-wing groups, which can dilute and distort the original intent of terms used in social justice and feminist discourse.
The author implies that the true measure of a man's value in dating and relationships is not based on performative masculinity or financial status but on qualities that foster genuine connection and partnership.

Culture | Opinion

The Theft And Co-Opting Of The High-Value Man

How this term became a dogwhistle for the Red Pill and worse.

If you’ve been on Tinder or Reddit, you might have noticed how many men have started to call themselves a “High Value Man.” I sure as hell had to notice, simply because this is what I report on for my blog.

Most of the guys who call themselves this have a wide series of often-conflicting demands from women with little to show for what they provide aside from a paycheck served up with accusations of gold-digging. Shocker, right?

Truth be told, this doesn’t surprise me. It’s always the guys who talk about how nice they are that seem to be the worst. But, it was the term “High-Value Man” that stood out to me.

As you can guess, I noticed that it was mostly Red Pill and incel men who used this term.

Or, they’re egotistical losers like this who think that single moms are unworthy of love or marriage. (Ten bucks says that the loser would bail on his baby mama, then tell her she should be more responsible.)

Any man who has to say he’s a king is not a king. And any man who disparages a single mom probably leaves a trail of destruction on his exes during his dating life.

But, I’m not here to continue to state the obvious. I noticed something odd.

I heard the phrase “High-Value Man” before, and it wasn’t a Red Pill thing.

The first place I heard this term was not on any manosphere world. It was on The Female Dating Strategy subreddit. And this makes perfect fucking sense to me.

On FDS, women use the term “High-Value Man” to describe a man who is:

Charming
Considerate toward his dates
Self-sufficient
Willing to pay for a first date to show interest
Patient
Caring
Supportive
Emotionally mature
A positive influence toward women
Promoting of women’s rights rather than threatened by them

In other words, they describe High-Value Men as men who actually make dating pleasant and bring things to the table. A High-Value Man is someone who makes a good life partner and doesn’t disparage women based on their “mileage.”

It’s well-known that Female Dating Strategy is one of the most hated subreddits on Reddit.

Almost all of the hate comes from men — particularly men who tend to encourage women to “give them a chance” even when a potential date isn’t attractive. Is some of the advice misandristic? Yes, but for the most part, it boils down to “block and delete men who don’t treat you well.”

One of the weirdest effects of being a denizen of the internet is recognizing how many people will obsess over what they can’t have. Such is the case with FDS.

The more I dove deep into FDS and its sister boards, the more I saw men behaving in the most appalling of ways. It became abundantly clear: these guys wanted to silence women talking about how they kept men from getting access to vulnerable women.

The mods of FDS actually had to post a warning not to post abusive behavior of men stalking FDS followers on the board because of how bad it got. The fact that harassment got to that level is sick and obsessive.

A common weapon of the right-wing is the co-opting of leftist terms to make them lose value.

This is not news. The term “woke” became a right-wing term that now means anything that does not agree with whatever they’re saying. Originally, it meant staying aware of discrimination and calling it out.

The Red Pill and other incel boards have co-opted the term “High-Value Man” in the same way. It stopped being about men who are self-reliant, decent people who treat women well and respect women’s rights.

The term is now floating around on the manosphere like a carrot on a stick. Dating “gurus” now tell men that they can be “High-Value Men” and try to get women to submit to them. Or they tie it to performative masculinity.

The Red Pill/Masculinity Coaching definition of a High-Value Man has nothing to do with FDS.

See this shit? It’s gross. A paycheck does not a sexy man make.

I don't know a single woman who finds a man who bullies and demands submission from women sexy. I also don’t know any women who drop panties for men who are obsessed with performing masculinity bullshit.

As I’ve said before, men who make demands and disparage women aren’t sexy. If anything, it’s been a key reason why women are walking away from dating altogether.

The only people who find those guys to be “high value” are the dating coaches making bank off them. But…don’t tell those guys that. They won’t hear of it.

In reality, the list of traits FDS gave for a High-Value Man are exactly what healthy women want.

Yes! Women want men who are financially and emotionally stable. They want loyal men who are considerate of women and put others first. They also find men who are caring, compassionate, and calm to be attractive.

Is it easy to be that type of guy? No, but the rewards come with better relationships, a better quality of life, and more confidence overall.

It’s a shame that such a good term became so heavily co-opted by the worst of men. It’s a term that could have really done a lot of good in the dating world, at least in my eyes.