The Ten Most Evil White Kids on Adobe Stock

Nasty little shits wanting to take over the world.
These are the devil-spawn children with ill intent. They won’t be satisfied until you are face-down on the floor and crying into your cereal.
I’ve scoured Adobe Stock for the very worse of their kind. Cherubic faces hiding malicious thoughts. These kids want to see you harmed and you are powerless to stop them.


#10 Stacey
“Grrrrowl,” says Stacey as she puts on her best evil face. You’re not fooling anyone Stacey and that’s why you barely make the top ten. Stacey has vowed to destroy the world with one booger flick at a time. Go home Stacey…your mom is calling you for dinner.

#9 Joanne
Joanne tries hard but she’s not really in the same league as the other devil children. Armed with an old granny’s bouffant and spectacles, Joanne’s attempts to cajole innocent children with sweeties into doing her bidding often fail. Bad at snatching, terrible at cursing, and even worse at sneering, this wannabe-devil-child barely makes an evil model.

#8 Finley
No Finley, a vacant stare isn’t a sign that you’ll be good at evil. And that costume? Seriously? Has 1988 called and asked for its costume back?

#7 Jemma
Don’t be fooled by that twinkle in her eye. Gemma is well-versed in the art of devilry. Once described as a bug you can’t shift, Jemma bewitches you with her easy and calm demeanor before she unleashes the hounds of hell. Gemma’s only weakness is ice cream.

#6 Rainbow
Her parents never saw it coming. Possessed at the age of four by an evil Japanese spirit named Tsumugi, the ironically named Rainbow would scrawl her name on walls and any white surface. The world has to be dark for Rainbow. She is consumed with blackness. Never talking, Rainbow will stand in a corner quietly mocking the happy noise of life. Her stare once froze the Queen of Denmark.

#5 Tyson
He may look sweet and charming with an air of vulnerability, but Tyson is a cold-blooded killer. One stepmother, two babysitters, and a very large, obese charity collector have all died at the hands of Tyson. It is said in John 5:19, “We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one,” is specifically written about Tyson, an immortal spawn of the Devil.

#4 Claire
From an early age, Claire demanded attention. Her screams echoed down hallways and filled empty auditoriums bespoke with devilish gargoyles and phantom parents. Claire’s unilateral bombardment from her vocal cords bansheed their way through victim after victim until only Satan was able to withstand her high-velocity pitch.

#3 Crystal
Crystal is a commanding alpha female with boss-like energy. She whittles the weak down with soundbites so scathing that grown men cry and women wail for a savior. There’s only one Queen in town and anyone defying her order is promptly burned at the stake with their remains fed to the pigs.

#2 Andy
Fuck you, Andy. I’ll smash your fucking face in you little shit. Yeah, me and Andy go way back, where do you think this stock photo came from? Andy will ruin your career. Andy will get you arrested. Andy will make sure your reputation will never recover and you’ll spend a decade sleeping rough and shooting crack. Andy will break your family apart. Andy will make sure your divorce is a bitter battle through several courts and ends with a tragic murder posing as suicide. I can’t warn you enough…stay away from Andy.

#1 Steve
Steve hatched his first plan at the tender age of five. It involved decapitating several Barbie dolls and one cat. The dolls survived, but the cat did not. When the charred remains of Whittles the Cheshire Cat were discovered, Steve freely admitted to a heinous act so unthinkable that many assumed he was lying. The unfortunate truth was, Steve had a gift for torturing animals before graduating to humans. He now works for the US Military.

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