Summary

The web content discusses the "Take and Replace" approaches to change, advocating for proactive personal action and societal transformation by fulfilling one's needs and desires without resistance.

Abstract

The article titled "The Take and Replace Approaches to Changing Things" presents a philosophy of change that encourages individuals to actively pursue what they need and want, both personally and within society. It references Glennon Doyle's interpretation of the biblical story of Adam and Eve, suggesting that women, in particular, should confidently seek what they desire, even if it challenges existing power structures. The author emphasizes the importance of identifying and fulfilling personal needs, as outlined in Thomas Leonard's book "The Portable Coach," and the concept of replacing rather than resisting norms and expectations. The text argues that by actively pursuing and claiming what one needs and prefers, and by replacing unsatisfactory aspects of life with more fulfilling alternatives, individuals can effect meaningful change in their lives and contribute to the creation of a more equitable world.

Opinions

Glennon Doyle's perspective is highlighted, suggesting that women's desires have the potential to reshape the world into one based on equality, justice, love, and peace.
The author asserts that power is not willingly relinquished and that individuals must proactively claim what they are due, rather than waiting for it to be granted.
The article promotes the idea that unmet personal needs should be addressed directly and that ignoring them leads to dysfunction.
Price Pritchett's concept of active pursuit is endorsed, advocating for action beyond wishes and fantasies to achieve personal and group desires.
The author shares a personal example of replacing the societal norm of car ownership with preferred alternatives that align with their values of public interaction and environmental consciousness.
The text suggests that instead of fighting against negative aspects of life, such as toxic workplaces or unhealthy habits, one should replace them with more positive and compelling alternatives.
The author encourages readers to consider the broader impact of their choices, suggesting that supporting alternative business models like co-ops and credit unions can lead to societal change.
References to works by Anu Puusa, Nathan Schneider, and Gar Alperovitz are made to illustrate the viability and benefits of cooperative and democratized economic models.
The article concludes by prompting readers to reflect on what they will take and claim for their lives and what they are willing to replace to initiate change.

The Take and Replace Approaches to Changing Things

Or, “Go for the apple and let it burn…”

As Eve said, “Go for the apple and let it burn…”

Actually, that was Glennon Doyle in the July 22, 2021, On Being podcast interview she and her wife, soccer star Abby Wambach, had with host Krista Tippett:

“Destruction, we’re too scared of it. We’re too scared of apocalypse. Who wants things to stay the same? Not me. [relates story of Adam, Eve, Garden of Eden and her interpretations]…What women want is so good that if women started to go for it power structures would tumble. Right? So doesn’t it make sense that every single power structure would have to make women doubt what they desire? Because if women went for what they desired, the world would crumble. And other worlds based on equality and justice and love and peace would have to be rebuilt in their place. Right? So what I want women to do is go for the apple and let it burn.”

Earlier she had listed some of those thing women want: “for babies to eat, good food, good sex, fewer wars…”

Go for the apple and let it burn is a much better, more colorful way of saying two things I’ve thought for a long time about changing the world — both our own personal cosmos and the big world out there and its systems, institutions, and societies that we’re part of…and that run our lives in their own way.

Those things are simply 1) take what you need, and 2) replace, don’t resist.

For that very important ecosphere that is you, get what you need in life. If you’re not getting it, take it, claim it. Let everything else fall into place around that.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” — Alice Walker

Consider that no one gives up power willingly. Don’t wait for someone to hand it over out of a sense of fairness. Take it. Claim it.

To be seen, acceptance, inclusion, respect, intimacy, love, support, stability, security. What are you still missing? Seek those things. Recognize them. Figure out how to get them. Accept them and take ownership.

Thomas Leonard’s endearing and encyclopedic 1998 book — still filled with relevant and non-obvious advice over 20 years after publication — The Portable Coach: 28 Surefire Strategies for Business and Personal Success, is where I first encountered this concept. Step 13 is “Get Your Personal Needs Met Once and For All.” He distinguishes personal needs from survival needs such as food, water, sleep, etc. For him, “Personal needs are those emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, and environmental things you need to be your best.” He notes that unmet needs do not go away simply because they’ve been ignored. Rather, they create too many wants and various dysfunctions from the unconscious ways we let these unaddressed needs muck up our relationships with others and ourselves.

According to You2 [squared]: A High-Velocity Formula for Multiplying Your Personal Effectiveness in Quantum Leaps by Price Pritchett, PhD (2012), one of the business books I return to frequently to re-read what I’ve underlined, you get the things you want by actively pursuing them (once you know what they are). Reach beyond your aching wishes and detailed fantasies with action. Trust in the power of active pursuit.

This holds true for more than individuals. Apply it to the groups and categories you identify with. The overlooked. The overworked. The underpaid. How I wish we all would stop the struggles of accepting less than we deserve, making due, and work instead on the taking, receiving, claiming. Ah, that’s mine. I’ve been looking for that. You can put it right over there.

Then there’s the replacement approach. Don’t fight against expectations and norms. Don’t resist the powers that be. Replace them with what you want. Generate from creativity rather than competition.

Here’s but one example that matters to me. People wonder — it drives many crazy, in fact — why I don’t drive a car. It’s not that I can’t (it’s not that hard, most of our fellow adults do it). Nor do I have a strong distaste for it. What I do have is a strong preference for being out in public, not trapped in my own steel box; for walking, biking, and experiencing the world firsthand; for reading books and leaving the driving to public transit operators; for spending the time and money car ownership usually absorbs on other things. I have for a long time simply replaced the expectation of driving and car ownership with things I like a lot better, want a lot more.

Don’t resist unhealthy foods, just eat more of the healthier ones. Create habits, tastes, and meals that you prefer.

Don’t avoid exercise, replace inactivity with things you do like and want. Conversational walks with friends. Time on the courts. Dancing til all hours.

You get it. Don’t (necessarily) try to change your toxic workplace, your crappy friends. It’s more energizing and rewarding to find and create more compelling substitutions.

And consider the same for the ways we intersect with the world around us and its unpleasant, unsavory, or destructive norms and organizations.

You don’t need to stop the environmental and social degradations of fast fashion, for instance. Replace such purchases by patronizing secondhand, consignment, or eco-friendly retailers instead. Buy clothes that last longer. Swap outfits with friends. Be the change.

Don’t fight corporations and big finance expecting them to meet your standards. Simply stop feeding them and do business with alternatives instead: local businesses, indie operators, co-ops, credit unions, B corps, worker-owned businesses. For inspiration, watch cooperative advocate Anu Puusa’s TED talk. The Finnish professor gets over 50% of what her family needs from co-ops. Nathan Schneider’s book on co-op history, Everything for Everyone: The Radical Tradition That Is Shaping the Next Economy (2018), and Gar Alperovitz’s book on various entities of democratized wealth, What Then Must We Do? (2013), both reveal that such options have always existed, are already all around us, and show promise for future flourishing.

The “just take it” and “just replace it” approaches are broad and simplified, I know. The examples here are just that, not as all encompassing or detailed as they could be. But I hope you’ll consider if and how these strategies can serve you in the changes you wish to see.

So, what’s next for you? What will you take and claim for your life? What are you willing to receive and accept? What can you replace and with what to start changing things — for yourself and for the world?

Reach out your hand and go for the apple.