The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck- My Favorite Lessons

This book is worth the hype.

There are books that you can’t read often enough. The subtle Art… is definitely one of them.

Having already read it a few years ago, I am just re-reading it. I’m on page 57 right now and have already read so many great concepts that they will fill this article.

1. The Feedback Loop from Hell

I don’t think I can describe it any better than Mark Manson himself. Therefore I would like to quote a great text passage here:

The Feedback Loop from Hell has become a borderline epidemic, making many of us so overly stressed, overly neurotic, and overly self-loathing. Back in Grandpa’s day, he would feel like shit and think to himself, “Gee whiz, I sure do feel like a cow turd today. But hey, I guess that’s life. Back to shoveling hay.

Manson goes on to make the case that nowadays social media is partly responsible for the Feedback Loop from Hell. When we feel bad, we see pictures on social media of others who seem happy and living their best lives. We compare ourselves and worry even more. The feedback loop begins.

What’s the solution?

The only way to prevent the feedback loop from occurring in the first place is to accept our emotions. A mindset like this could be beneficial.

It is what it is. I feel bad and that’s okay.

At this point Manson gets to the heart of the matter again by writing:

The desire for more positive experiences is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

I suppose you know that, too.

• The more you want a new car, the less satisfied you are with your old one.
• The more you want a partner, the lonelier you feel.
• The more you want to be rich, the poorer you feel.

2. The Backwards Law

When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink, but when you try to sink, you float- Alan Watts

In this quote, the philosopher Alan Watts describes a phenomenon called the backwards law.

In many areas of our life, it is true. One example is the desire for wealth. The more you want to become rich, the poorer you feel. No matter how much money you earn.

However, if you don’t strive for wealth so much, you are happy with what you earn, you are more satisfied and you are much more likely to feel rich.

Of course, you should not misunderstand the law. Most things require your willpower and focused effort. If you stop going to the gym and stop eating healthy because you don’t care about your body, the backwards law won’t magically get you in shape.

Sorry to tell you that.

However, the law is often useful in regards to things like the pursuit of love, wealth, and prestige.

The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.

3. You will always have problems

imagine you have a lot of money, a great partner and good friends. Then you will have no more problems, right? Wrong.

We always imagine that when we achieve certain things, all our problems will stop. Maybe they do, but then new problems will arise. So the goal should not be to avoid problems but to have better problems.

• Your child has broken the TV in the huge living room of your ultra-modern house.
• You need to figure out how to make ends meet. Paying the next month’s rent will be tight.

Both are problems, but which problem is the better one should be clear.

Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded

That’s how Mark Manson puts it.

If problems can’t be avoided, how do you become happy?

According to Manson, the key to happiness is solving problems. With the following 3 text passages, the essential point is well expressed:

To be happy we need something to solve. Happiness is therefore a form of action; it’s an activity, not something that is passively bestowed upon you, not something that you magically discover in a top-ten article in the Huffington Post or from any specific guru or teacher.

Happiness is a constant work-in-progress because solving problems is a constant work-in-progress

True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving

Thanks for reading!

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