The Subtle Art of Acknowledging Sadness: A Path to Emotional Wellness

Instead of avoiding sadness, acknowledging and understanding it can lead to a richer emotional life

Have you ever felt a wave of sadness wash over you without any apparent reason?

If so, you’re not alone. Many of us experience this mysterious emotion, often struggling to understand its cause.

The Humane Causes of Sadness: Hunger and Tiredness

We all are like little kids. More often than not, the reason for being sad is hunger or tiredness. The rest are merely derivatives of them or unnecessary reasons that we fictionalize to ourselves.

Yes, there are other genuine reasons, too, like the loss of a close one, sickness, others’ mistakes, and so on. But notice how none of these are in your control. When these events arise, we deal with them.

But hunger and rest are so humane. It’s so natural to us that when they are not satisfied, our bodies react negatively. And that’s sadness.

Hunger and Mood

When we’re hungry, our body’s glucose level drops, affecting our brain function and mood. This can lead to feelings of irritability and sadness.

A study explored the phenomenon of 'hangriness’, finding a direct connection between hunger and emotional states.

My experience with food:

1. Always carry a few fruits in the office. This allows me to counter the sugar and hunger pangs.
2. Replace the milk and sugary tea/coffee with the plain black version. This has helped me manage my tiredness better.
3. Start my day with fresh juice and a couple of fruits. The first bite of cooked food happens not before noon, and that allows me to stay energized and positive.

Tiredness and Emotions:

There’s a strong link between sleep quality and mental health. Lack of sleep can lead to a heightened emotional response, including sadness or even depression.

The work presented in Matthew Walker’s 'Why We Sleep’ shows how sleep affects our emotional regulation. Establishing a regular sleep schedule and creating a restful environment can significantly improve mood stability. Techniques like avoiding screens before bedtime and relaxation exercises can enhance sleep quality.

My experience with sleep:

1. Irrespective of whether it’s a weekend or weekday, maintain a steady ‘Go to Sleep’ and ‘Get up from Sleep’ schedule. Mine is 9:30 to 5.
2. Take a quick nap every afternoon. A 15-minute head down on my desk pushes my energy levels very high and helps me manage my emotions a lot better.
3. For me, the secret of getting up at 5 A.M. is sleeping at 9:30 every night. The compounding effects of sleeping early are many.

The Power of Journal Writing

My journal has been a faithful companion in understanding my emotions. Years of journaling have taught me that acknowledging basic needs like hunger and rest is crucial in managing moods.

In her book 'The New Diary’, Tristine Rainer writes about the therapeutic power of journaling, emphasizing how it helps us navigate through our emotions and experiences.

Journal writing is not just a way to document your day; it's a journey into the depths of your emotional world. It helps in identifying the root causes of feelings like sadness and guides you towards effective coping mechanisms.

I always keep a notepad in front of me. If it’s not early morning, when I have access to my big and bold journals, this small notepad helps me record the nuances of the day. Even a couple of lines or bullet points about what’s going through my mind is enough to declutter the thought process and create the space my mind is looking for.

Here are a few quick journal writing prompts that can help you manage your emotions:

1. What is within my control today, and how can I respond with calmness and resilience to things outside my control?
2. In what ways can I practice ‘Santosha’ (contentment) today, finding peace in my current circumstances?
3. Reflect on a challenging situation. What lesson can I learn from this, and how can this experience contribute to my growth?
4. How can I use ‘Memento Mori’ (remember you must die) to find perspective and gratitude in my daily life?
5. What does the saying ‘This too shall pass’ mean to me in the context of my current emotions?

Tools to Manage Sadness

If you ever struggle with these short bouts of sadness or confusion, try these simple hacks, which have almost worked all the time for me:

1. Take a Nap: Rest is essential. As Matthew Walker, author of 'Why We Sleep’, points out, sleep is a non-negotiable biological necessity.
2. Eat a Fruit: Nutrition plays a vital role in mood regulation. I avoid sugary and salty snacks, as they can lead to a crash in energy levels.
3. Read a Few Lines from a Book: Literature can be a soothing balm for the soul.
4. Walk in the Sun: Sunlight is a natural mood enhancer.
5. Deep and Slow Breathing: This is a proven technique to reduce stress, as echoed by experts in mindfulness practices.
6. Journal Writing: A personal therapy session available 24/7.

What Does Philosophers Say About Sadness?

The ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle believed in experiencing a full range of emotions. He argued that emotions are integral to human experience, each serving a purpose.

Instead of avoiding sadness, acknowledging and understanding it can lead to personal growth and a richer emotional life.

• Experiencing sadness can enhance empathy, helping us connect more deeply with others.
• Sadness often brings a new perspective, allowing us to reassess our priorities and values.

The poet Rumi once said, "The wound is the place where the Light enters you."

Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher, teaches the importance of accepting emotions: "If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present."

Incorporating a philosophical perspective on sadness not only adds depth to our understanding but also helps us see it as a natural, even necessary, part of the human experience.

Sadness, like every emotion, has its place in our lives. Sadness can sometimes be a gateway to a bigger perspective and better actions.

When None of the Reasons Apply

If you’re sad and the usual reasons don’t apply, consider starting a journal-writing habit. Let your mind express itself on paper. This practice can unravel deeper insights, helping you pinpoint the cause of your sadness. As the adage goes, 'Sadness flies away on the wings of time.'

Remember, every emotion is a step towards understanding ourselves better and shaping a more empathetic, aware self.

Nishith is an author and creator of a unique self-development platform — “Be Better Bit-By-Bit.”

Grab your copy of his books — Be Better Bit-By-Bit and My Daily 5-Minute Gratitude Journal. Also, listen to his podcasts Be Better Bit-By-Bit and 10 Bullets — 100 Words Book Summary.