The Stories You Must Write to Be a Top Publisher on Medium

Your 17 Top Writer don’t matter to make your career on Medium shine.

You’re not eligible to the much more prestigious Top Publisher unless you have written at least five stories out of the following list of twenty (it’s a listicle, you got it, but not numbered, just bulleted).

• Why I Write. The basis. I’ve written that with that exact title. I would have also written Why I Don’t Write, to compound, but the title seemed a paradox, and I feared a Google penalty.
• Why You Should Post Daily. You really need to write this. It does wonders. Even if it’s your only post in a month. Variations are: 30 Posts in a Month (aka A Busy February) and What I Learned After 2000 Posts and a Single Follower (did I already write that?).
• Why Goals Don’t Matter. This will help you to achieve your writing goals. Especially if you are lazy like me and want to justify that unwritten book. Variations are: Habits Smash Goals and Goals Smash Habits. You can write both of the variations. Just leave it a few days between them.
• The Right Moment Is Now. Originally written during an evacuation, the theme went viral and was afterward patented by Tony Robbins. So, you can’t write that exact compelling title, but you can write Better to Do It Tomorrow, and The Right Moment to Stock Up on Beer Was Yesterday.
• Do What You Want in Life. Take the opportunity to write this as long as you live with your parents.
• With These 5 Habits, You’ll Never Need to Work a Day in Your Life. This is the cornerstone, but pay attention to deploy in exactly the following order: get up at 4 am, exercise, take a cold shower, write 75k words, eat healthily. Simple as that.
• The Secret Recipe for Success. Same line as above. They all know it’s a fake, but they’ll buy it anyway. Like the lottery tickets. The secret to the success of this type of articles is telling that you learned the lesson from hard experience. I learned it when I lost my notebook. All of my drafts gone. I was devastated.
• And that leads to… The Day That Changed My Life. If you are at least 5, it’s a no-brainer.
• The Minimal You. When in doubt, subtract. I piled a lot of those articles. Maybe I have to declutter, now.
• How to End a Relationship. Your partner pissed you off, last night, I know.
• How to Make a Relationship Thrive. But this morning you had sex.
• Hit the Jackpot with Cryptocurrencies. I skipped that. It requires a PC with 16 fans and a nuclear power plant owned. Plus, money is allergic to me.
• The Future of Artificial Intelligence. Everything you could say on the topic would be unreliable, but Asimov is no more here, and science fiction is back again. It will work.
• How to Raise Your Venture Round Like a Breeze. The ten bucks on Patreon make you entitled. Just don’t mention.
• Make Your Startup Boom. It can have a double meaning. Or be a typo. Take advantage of it, and they won’t sue you.
• 25 Ways to Hack Medium. I wrote a lot of that. At first, you feel guilty, but after the first 150 posts with no claps, you change your mind.
• 7 Reasons to Stop Blogging. Apparently, you need this to have a 7-listicle in your portfolio, but it’s actually meant to stop your competitors. Superfine strategy at work. If you don’t like listicles, you can write If You Write Listicles, Better To Switch To WordPress. Nowadays less effective, but months ago it would have removed 90% of your competitors from Medium.
• Stop Writing. Same goal as above. But if it sounds a bold move to you, you can use any other verb you want, after Stop. Just avoid Stop Reading. If you think it’s a too short title, add Immediately.
• Write Only What You Know. In the same line, but this is an Armageddon. Pay close attention and be responsible. Write this, and you may shut down the platform.
• 20 Ideas for a Post. Just written. I’m going to hit publish.

PS: The Top Publisher award doesn’t exist, of course. But that bought me time. By the time you’ve finished reading this, I’ll be already on my next post.

PS2: Too short post. This line added just to extend the reading time. I learn from the giants.

PS3: Did you really read till now?