The STOPP Strategy Works for Me

Summary

The STOPP strategy, an acronym from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), is presented as an effective personal method for managing emotional responses and preventing negative thought spirals.

Abstract

The article discusses the personal effectiveness of the STOPP strategy, a tool used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for the author in managing their emotional reactions. The strategy is described as a series of steps: Stop, Take a deep breath, Observe, Pull back, and Practice what works. Each step is detailed with the author's personal experiences and adaptations. The strategy emphasizes the importance of pausing during emotional distress, employing deep breathing to interrupt negative thought patterns, observing and understanding one's emotions, pulling back to gain perspective, and practicing proven techniques to de-escalate emotional spirals. The author acknowledges that while mindfulness exercises are not effective for them, deep breathing and other personalized techniques are beneficial. The article concludes with the author inviting readers to share their experiences with the STOPP strategy.

Opinions

The author finds the STOPP strategy more effective than a simple directive to "stop" during moments of emotional distress.
Mindfulness exercises tend to exacerbate the author's focus on negative emotions, indicating a personal preference for other coping mechanisms.
The author values self-reflection and uses visual aids, such as writing with dry-erase markers, to better understand their emotions.
When pulling back, the author emphasizes the importance of self-compassion by considering how they would speak to a friend in a similar situation.
The author advocates for a personalized list of de-escalation techniques, suggesting that reliance on a single method, like calling a friend, may not always be effective.
Music and dance are mentioned as activities that help the author interrupt negative thought patterns and recover from emotional episodes.

STOPP, not stop

“So I have this strategy for you,” my therapist told me. “It’s called ‘stop’.”

I analyzed her face to see if she was joking. Sensing my confusion, she elaborated. She wasn’t telling me that her strategy was for me to just “stop it” when I was upset or angry. What she was about to share with me was an acronym.

STOPP is an acronym used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Treatment for PTSD, and mental health conditions, in general, isn’t one-size-fits-all. That said, STOPP works for me.

Stop

I can accelerate from 0 to 60 faster than any luxury car. Even the simple act of reminding myself to pause can interrupt my spiraling and set the stage for de-catastrophizing.

What do I want to do or say?

Could my short-term emotions have long-term consequences?

Can I handle this on my own, or do I need support from a friend?

Take a Deep Breath

I’ve never been one for mindfulness exercises: I don’t pass judgement towards people who use this strategy, and, in fact, it’s one of the first strategies that I recommend to the kids I work with. But for me, mindfulness ends with me hyperfocusing on what was upsetting me, to begin with. That said, deep breathing does help me. When I’m upset or angry, it’s easy for me to forget to breathe.

Observe

I want the outside world to believe that I’m tough, but the fact is that there is a fairly emotional person behind the mask. Taking inventory of my emotions can help me to work towards understanding why I feel the way that I feel. I’m a visual person, so writing it out helps me significantly. I use dry-erase markers and write on my floor.

Pull Back

When I’m spiraling, it can be difficult for me to really hear other people, even when the information that they’re sharing is helpful and, in all honesty, very reasonable.

When I pull back, I ask myself if I would describe a friend the way I describe myself. Would I call my friend ugly? Crazy? Unworthy? Useless? Even if my friend and I had similar personalities, I know for a fact that these thoughts wouldn’t cross my mind.

Considering how my words would affect somebody else gives me perspective and helps me to see that the way I describe myself does affect me.

Practice What Works

I call a friend. I listen to music that won’t ramp me up. I put my headphones in and dance. Different things work for different people; it’s taken me time to develop a go-to list of things that I can do to interrupt the spiral and recover after I de-escalate.

Having a list of activities, rather than just one, can prevent a second spiral. If my only technique was to call a friend, for example, and my friend didn’t pick up the phone, it’s highly possible that I’d be back to square one.

Have you tried the STOPP strategy? I’d love to hear your thoughts!