The Sprinter
Leonard Ó Floin was preparing to race.
He placed his right leg on the ground as he curled his left leg behind him in a hurdler’s stretch. Then he bend his head over his ruddy complexioned right leg so that his red hair brushed against his knee thereby stretching his leg muscles without stretching them painfully.
Leonard looked around the grassy field on which he was stretching so that he could see the other sprinters who were also warming up. The field was surrounded by the oval racetrack of his high school, Park Street Collegiate Institute (PSCI), located in Orillia, Ontario. He saw his rival, Richard Smythe, from Orillia District Collegiate and Vocational Institute (ODCVI), running sprints in front of the football posts at the south end of the field with Leonard’s friend, Michael Green, from PSCI, keeping Dick on his toes by running close beside him. PSCI was only a few blocks from ODCVI so many of the athletes from these high schools knew each other.
Leonard clenched his jaws together at the sight of Mike laughing with Dick after Dick had beaten Mike in their wind sprint because Dick usually lorded his superior athletic ability over Leonard and Mike, condescendingly, but Mike had the gift of being able to befriend almost anyone. Leonard was not jealous of Mike, but he did resent Dick for treating him, as well as Mike, like second class citizens.
To take his mind off Dick, Leonard averted his gaze from Dick and Mike, training it, instead, on the three other sprinters who were warming up close to him. One runner was dressed in the flamboyant orange colours of Penetanguishene’s high school. He was a muscle-bound individual who might be a threat. Leonard had observed him come in second to Richard in the second competitive heat of sprinters with Michael following close upon his heals in third place. The other two sprinters were dressed in the conservative green colours of Barrie’s high school. They had come second and third in the first competitive heat. Leonard had won this heat.
The track and field meet was being sponsored by PSCI so Leonard and Mike were expected to be goodwill ambassadors to the rest of the athletes, but Leonard found this role to grate on his nerves when it came to being pleasant to his nemesis, Dick. Leonard’s disgruntled thoughts were interrupted by Mike who had run over to him to say, ‘I wish you luck, Lenny. I know I wouldn’t feel any better if I won the race, rather than you, because the good I wish for me, I always wish for you.’ Considering that Leonard was intent on winning the race so that he could put Richard in his place, Michael’s generosity of spirit led him to feel ashamed of his desire to win.
What disturbed Leonard the most about Mike is that Mike would feel just as good about losing the race to anyone else racing with him, that is, if he put in his best effort to beat them. Leonard simply didn’t understand how anyone could think in such a way because it seemed to him as if Mike didn’t place much importance on winning.
Although he was not usually a deep thinker, Leonard stared at the string that was being unfurled between the posts at the 100 meter mark of the racetrack because it had a peculiar meaning for him in relation to what Mike had been saying. He couldn’t put his finger on what he was trying to grasp, however, so he returned his attention to stretching his muscles as he croaked out to Mike, ‘Thanks for your good wishes because I intend to win this damn race!’ Tossing his black hair about his lithe body, Mike laughed, uproariously, at Leonard’s comment, but he quickly sobered up because the officials were signaling for the runners to go to the starting blocks. Leonard and Mike, jogged over to the starting blocks together, taking the lanes assigned to them.
Leonard crouched in front of his starting block and placed the spikes of his track shoes in the brown matted cushions of the starting block so that he could practice his start. He cleared his mind of thoughts and concentrated on the string at the end of the 100 meters which he and the other sprinters would be sprinting to so that the first sprinter to break the string would win the race. For a second, his question of what this string meant to him crossed his mind, but he quickly banished this question from his consciousness and concentrated only on the string again.
Finally, the official responsible for starting the race signaled the runners that their practicing was at an end. Leonard experienced the familiar sense of excitement (and anxiety?) that he always felt at this stage of the race. He put his spikes in the cushions of his starting block and set his fingers in the lime line across the track which he could not cross until the starter’s pistol sounded. Leonard heard the official say, ‘Ready,’ then, ‘set’, and finally heard the starter’s pistol roar.
Leonard sprang from his blocks, like a red-maned lion. Usually, Leonard was aware of the other sprinters running behind, beside, or, heaven forbid, in front of him, but today he was so concentrated on his goal that he was only concerned with his own ability to sprint as well as he could.
Unlike his other races, Leonard remembered all about his running of this race, especially the solitude with which he ran it, because his isolation enabled him to sprint without inhibition and win the race. Strangely enough, Leonard did not remember breaking the string at the 100 meter mark.
Leonard was not elated by his victory, despite having beaten his rival Dick. Instead, he felt strangely subdued because he knew he had experienced a truth that lay beyond winning. Unfortunately, what that truth was eluded his grasp.
He was also surprised to realize that he didn’t feel the desire to ‘rub in’ his victory over Dick by saying something inflammatory to him. On the contrary, he felt rather close to Dick because he had experienced the secret of sprinting that Dick obviously had experienced before him. Of course, he could not let Dick know his feeling of closeness with him because Dick would not understand his abrupt change of heart. Dick only seemed to understand dominance, not closeness; however, to Leonard’s surprise, Dick approached Leonard and Mike after the race with a grin on his face. He stretched out his hand to shake Leonard’s, saying, ‘You beat me despite my best attempt to beat you. You’re a much better sprinter than I gave you credit for being. What happened to you today? You’ve never beaten me before.’
Leonard, looking rather troubled, said, ‘I don’t really know, Dick. I felt different, somehow. I felt that I could concentrate solely on my sprinting for a change and leave my cares for the world in limbo for a while. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I will be able to concentrate so intensely again because I don’t know what the truth is behind my experience of concentrating.’
Dick reflected on what Leonard had admitted. He seemed to reach a decision and said, ‘All it takes is confidence, Lenny. I know I haven’t been very good at helping you to be confident because I’ve felt the desire to undermine your confidence so that I could beat you at sprinting. I toyed at this game with everyone, including Mike, here, but Mike didn’t bear me any ill will for doing so. I see that I was mistaken to toy so irresponsibly with people because it undermines their confidence. I think that the truth you’re wondering about is the confidence you’ve been missing.’
Michael frowned. ‘I don’t agree with you, Dick. Yes, confidence is important, but Lenny is expressing an experience that transcends his ability to be confident. He realized his love of sprinting today.’
Leonard looked at them both with appreciation because their attempt to help him realize the truth of his experience was touching, but he rejected both of their explanations. Leonard responded by saying, ‘Thanks for your attempts to help me, but the truth of my experience lies in the isolation I experienced while sprinting. I knew that I was isolated in my body and that I was sprinting my body. But there’s more to it than that. Much more. I needed to be confident and I needed to love my experience, but I also needed to know what was having this experience.
‘That’s it! That’s the truth I have to find! I have to find out what I am!’
Dick looked perplexed, but Mike was nodding his head in agreement. Mike said, ‘You’ve identified the problem we all have to solve. It’s the problem raised in the Jewish Torah where the god, Yahweh, says, “I AM THAT I AM.” We are that we are, just as any god is that it is — but what are we?
‘I’ve got the feeling that what we are can’t be positively expressed. What do you think, Leonard?’
‘I’m inclined to agree with you, Mike,’ responded Leonard. ‘That’s likely why no one has ever been able to positively express what the THAT is of ‘I AM THAT I AM.’
Dick shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘“What am I?” is an interesting question, but what has it got to do with sprinting — or enjoying life?’
‘What you are is an important truth,’ answered Mike, ‘because what is using your body to sprint and enjoy other pleasant activities is obviously either a god, like Yahweh, or the brain.’
Dick and Leonard were both taken aback by Mike’s comment. Neither of them had ever thought so deeply before. Mike continued on to say, ‘If we are brains, we know that we are simply the physical particles of our brains. But if we are gods, what are we?’
Dick nervously made the excuse that he had to go home. He hurriedly walked away leaving Leonard alone with Mike.
Leonard honestly said to Mike, ‘You’ve given me almost too much to think about, but I may be able to lessen the anxious feeling I’m experiencing if you don’t hit me with any more insights; however, I would like to know one thing. Do you believe you are a god or a brain?’
Mike smiled and replied, ‘What’s really important to you is knowing whether you are a god or a brain. I can’t help you decide whether you are a god or a brain, but I can help you develop the appropriate questions to ask that will lead you to your decision.’
‘You’d be willing to do that for me?’
Mike grinned. ‘What are friends for, you goof?’
Leonard grinned as he good-naturedly punched Mike in the arm. They walked away from the field talking about how they would like to see some Star Wars movies together on the weekend. Some people may have wondered how they could have transformed their conversation from deepness to superficiality so quickly, but Leonard and Mike knew Star War movies aren’t necessarily as trivial as some people think.
Leonard and Mike were able to appreciate heroic sagas because all adolescents are heroes. Adolescents haven’t yet been persuaded by adults to give up on their quest for wisdom. Those adolescents who never give up on their dreams transcend their desire to be heroes by becoming sages so that they are never lost in the world of adult foolishness. Leonard and Mike don’t seem to be fools, but who can say how they will turn out? Only a foolish adult would say how he or she expects his or her experiences to turn out.
A sage knows better than to prophesize or predict which is why we love adolescents; they haven’t yet gotten into the habit of pretending that they can know what will happen before it happens. This is why they are heroes. They know that life is an adventure which may occasionally or frequently result in our enjoyment or our suffering. We can only do our best to love so that we may enjoy our experiences or do our worst to hate so that we may suffer our experiences, but we cannot say, any more than God can say, how our experiences will turn out.
