The Space Between

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Abstract

e pandemic, our ceremony was Covid-canceled, so the only celebration I had was posing for my selfie with the $8.00 cap I got on Amazon.For the record, I am very proud. Not only did I graduate following a global pandemic and arguably one of the toughest years of my life, but I did so with an all-A streak, graduating with a 4.0-grade point average.For the last three years, I have given every bit of myself to this degree and to the clients in my supervised practicum; working diligently towards a long-awaited goal of becoming a licensed therapist, while parenting two little ones and working full time. It’s been a lot and I have loved it. I am good at doing a lot at once, and frankly, I like it that way.I thrive on deadlines and crunch times; the grind keeps my momentum high not just in school but in life.I am my best self when my life is full and I am working at high speed towards something(s) I love. As a therapist-in-training, my study-tim

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e is far from over, but there is a lull. I feel it, and I don’t like it.Next up for me is studying for and passing the state board’s licensing exams. This is no easy feat and I am terrified. I have been here before. Eleven years ago, I graduated with my Ph.D. in Psychology. There’s something in Doctoral programs referred to as ABD (all but dissertation). That wasn’t me; I became All But Licensed (yes, I just made that up).I know that I am different now; strong, worthy, and capable as hell, but the lull stirs discomfort within me, and this familiar place of getting oh-so-close but not quite there — scares me.Endings are beautiful opportunities for new beginnings if we are willing to look forward.I know this, but today I allow myself to sit in the discomfort of the in-between and to honor this space for just a moment, before springing with velocity into the next one.This time, I will. I can and I will.</article></body>

A haiku series on endings and beginnings

An end is a start They say; I know, but still feel The void within me

Student no more, I Am in between once again; Neither here nor there

On the edge of where I want to be but not quite; I’ve been here before

I’ve come this far once Farther even, then stood still Neglected to leap

But not this time; I’m Committed more than ever I can and I will.

It’s been one week since my anticlimactic graduation from graduate school; my 4th degree overall and my 3rd graduate degree. Thanks to the pandemic, our ceremony was Covid-canceled, so the only celebration I had was posing for my selfie with the $8.00 cap I got on Amazon.

For the record, I am very proud. Not only did I graduate following a global pandemic and arguably one of the toughest years of my life, but I did so with an all-A streak, graduating with a 4.0-grade point average.

For the last three years, I have given every bit of myself to this degree and to the clients in my supervised practicum; working diligently towards a long-awaited goal of becoming a licensed therapist, while parenting two little ones and working full time. It’s been a lot and I have loved it. I am good at doing a lot at once, and frankly, I like it that way.

I thrive on deadlines and crunch times; the grind keeps my momentum high not just in school but in life.

I am my best self when my life is full and I am working at high speed towards something(s) I love. As a therapist-in-training, my study-time is far from over, but there is a lull. I feel it, and I don’t like it.

Next up for me is studying for and passing the state board’s licensing exams. This is no easy feat and I am terrified. I have been here before. Eleven years ago, I graduated with my Ph.D. in Psychology. There’s something in Doctoral programs referred to as ABD (all but dissertation). That wasn’t me; I became All But Licensed (yes, I just made that up).

I know that I am different now; strong, worthy, and capable as hell, but the lull stirs discomfort within me, and this familiar place of getting oh-so-close but not quite there — scares me.

Endings are beautiful opportunities for new beginnings if we are willing to look forward.

I know this, but today I allow myself to sit in the discomfort of the in-between and to honor this space for just a moment, before springing with velocity into the next one.

This time, I will. I can and I will.