POETRY | FREE VERSE

The Song of My Heart Was Never Yours

All along, it belonged to me and the stars in my life

Letting go is never easy. I knew it in my heart, I knew it in my soul… I felt it in the song I silenced For the sake of that love.

I didn’t see it then, I was so blind to the reality, To what was right in front of me.

You loved me, Yet you always let go of my hand. You loved me, Yet you trampled all over my heart. You loved me, Yet you never looked and saw me. You loved me, Yet you turned around and sought Other women in the night while I was lying in our bed. ‘I needed someone to talk to,’ That was what you said. You are not enough for me, Is what I heard you felt. Didn’t you have any shame? To do this while I was there? To look me in the eyes, Panic written in your eyes, And lie straight to my face? Where was the supposed love, then?

A trust, once broken, Can never be repaired. Yet I stayed… Oh, how I learned my lesson, Trust me, I did. Unrepairable. A broken glass I tried to mend. In a dance where it was only me, I should have left…

This wasn’t enough, wasn’t it? You loved me, Yet, the responsibility for Something you placed on me. A weight so heavy to carry. How I wished I could return back in time… and say the words, ‘Enough!’ I used to think it was my responsibility. This broken body of mine… it was all on me, right?

‘It’s not what matters most,’ you said, Then you turned around, did 180 at the end. Said it matters, and you can’t. Funny how, in a second, All you did was spit on yourself.

You loved me, Yet you left me all alone in The countless sleepless nights Where I fought battles with My body and my thoughts. You loved me… That’s what I used to think.

We were two puzzles Trying to force ourselves To fit. Yet we were worlds apart. I was among the stars, and you were walking on the ground. I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t see the world As black and white. You couldn’t fly, you couldn’t see the world Through my eyes. And that’s okay… because now I see We were never meant to be.

I held onto the anger and betrayal, all the pain How can you claim you love someone, then turn around and pull this trick? Was it all a game? Trick or treat? What was the sweet you received at the end? Or was it a trick? Who ended up being deceived? What did you win? How can you claim you love someone, Then turn around and do what you did? My mind couldn’t comprehend. But I no longer try to understand. There’s no excuse strong enough for me, For which my heart would have never done to you The same shit you pulled on me.

One final broken promise, who is even this person!? One final act of a last shot, Disgusting, but that’s on you, not on me. One final statement, I am laughing, remembering the hypocrisy. That’s all it took for you to shatter our history.

I questioned if anything was even real? Were you always like this, or did you Change somewhere over the years? I’m not sure. But I don’t need or seek answers, Because it no longer matters. Your ghost no longer haunts me. And now, acceptance lies in the place Where pain used to reign.

Our past, I no longer care What was real and what was not. I know my truth, and yours is… irrelevant to me. I stayed true to my heart. And this fire inside Somehow, after all, is still burning within. Stronger than ever before; It’s there for me.

Letting go is never easy. I knew it in my heart, I knew it in my soul… I felt it in the song I silenced For the sake of that love. I had to go. There was no other choice. It was me… or you. My soul knew… And now I know… A love where you lose yourself and have to choose… to silence your song for someone else, is never Love.

Now, I know we were never meant to be. For which, The song of my heart was never yours to begin with.

Thank you to everyone who read this poem. I appreciate all the support, feedback, claps, and comments. 💙