The snack machine is a venerated object in the Slackjaw office. It sits right next to the coffee machine… not one of those new Starbucks machines, one of the OLD SKOOL coffee machines.

I drink 14 cups a day from it, and then piss turpentine all afternoon.

We have a “Snack Machine” challenge. If you can eat one of each item in the snack machine in a two hour period and not throw up, you are entitled to whatever is in the slush fund at that moment. According to the “Articles of Agreement” the current balance of the slush fund must be posted on the break room refrigerator, so savvy Slackjaw workers keep an eye on the total and try to hide it from their co-workers by hanging menus from the Thai restaurant on top of it.

You can also win the slush fund by “voiding” one whole row of an individual snack. I have tried this twice when the Nab row was down to eight. There are four Nabs to a pack, so that’s 32 Nabs. Thirty two doesn’t sound like a lot, but let me tell you, those things are salty, and everything past number twenty is pure hell.

This is the current snack machine configuration. Notice the two “voids” in the second row. Current slush fund balance is $73.85. WOULD YOU TAKE THE CHALLENGE???