The Smiling Mask of Toxic Positivity

Deal with the bad vibes, don't cover them with a mask

‘Good vibes only’

‘Always look on the bright side’

‘You can create your own happiness’

You’ve probably heard all these positive sayings, perhaps you like their shiny surface that seems so simple and unproblematic, you may even say them yourself.

But is it really wise to only view the positives? To block anything and everything negative out of your life? Or is this kind of ‘all and nothing’ positivity simply putting on a smiling mask to cover deeper issues?

This is toxic positivity. A label given to the culture (largely existing on social media) of portraying yourself as permanently happy. Of putting the blinkers on to negativity, and encouraging others to do the same.

It’s the idea that if you make your life look perfect to everyone else and keep smiling, then you will always feel good. Or that you should turn away from the negative in the world, and make a positive impact by giving all your attention only to good things

But life doesn’t work like that. We seem to have forgotten that you need negatives to have positives; it takes both rain and sun to make rainbows. If you don’t have opposites, you just have a single neutral, and so without bad vibes, you get no good vibes at all.

If something sad is happening in your life, you’re allowed to feel sad about. You’re not a negative Nancy or denying the power of positivity, you’re just embracing the full spectrum of human emotions.

If something bad is going on in the world, it isn’t always wise to look away. That doesn’t mean you need to inundate yourself with bad news, its simply recognising that an overgeneralization of optimism can cause ignorance.

Like everything, it’s about balance.

You can seek good thoughts and feelings, whilst allowing yourself to feel bad. You can focus on the positives in the world, whilst recognising that there are negatives in the world that blocking out only perpetuates.

Take off the mask and see both sides of any situation. Instead of ‘good vibes only’, think ‘bad vibes sometimes’. Instead of ‘always look on the good side’, think ‘is there anything I can do about the bad side?’. And whilst ‘you can create your own happiness’ to some extent, it doesn’t mean you’re necessarily at fault for your sadness.

Fixing toxic positivity starts with recognising that you’re doing it. Is your positivity realistic, genuine, and raising the energy of people around you? Or is it false, worn like a mask, and causing frustration and shame to those around you?

Instead of a monochromatic mindset try embracing all emotions. Humans are flawed and the world is flawed; by pretending to be positive all day we’re denying ourselves a genuine human experience.