The Single Most Underrated Trait a Person Can Have for Success in Life
If you adopt this secret, you’ll be far ahead of the competition before you even start the race
There is a simple secret that most high-performers and leaders know but millions of others don’t.
They think the single most important advantage one can have is intelligence… or education… or good health… or good looks… or a rich family…
My answer is…
Patience, for sure.
The Curse of Impatience
We live in an impatient society taken over by instantaneous communications and instantaneous gratification of all desires.
When we order our meal, we want it to be served in seconds.
We hate to wait in lines, don’t we?
When I’m downloading software, I want it to download like lightning. If the green progress bar is moving like a snail, I curse at my luck and my circumstances.
The traffic is horrendous, bumper to pumper in big cities, and it never eases up. We are impatient the minute we leave our house, aren’t we? I’m sure those among us who can afford it will one day start to buy personal helicopters to fly from Point A to Point B by jumping over the traffic jam. But guess what? Soon we’ll have the same traffic jam up in the air. We’ll create a new generation of impatient and upset commuters.
Impatience is Divisive
Impatience fosters a divisive me-against-the-world type of mentality.
Impatient people do not want to hear what the others are saying.
When they appear to be listening, they are busy thinking what they will say next, and as a result, they miss the real point of the other person and create friction and frustration for no good reason at all.
Patience Requires Self-Confidence
You must be confident that you are not missing anything in order to be a patient person.
And vice-versa: the more patient you are, the more you see that there was nothing much out there to begin with that you could’ve missed anyways.
What is the worst that you can miss?
A TV show, let’s say? TV shows are plenty. If you miss one, there are ten others to watch live or on Netflix or Hulu etc.
Many years ago I once missed my international flight at the Kennedy Airport and had to spend the night over a bench. So what? It was not the end of the world. I flew out the next day and I’m here today to tell you the story.
So go ahead, be patient in your next phone conversation, listen more, talk less. Your friend will appreciate the extra attention you’re lavishing on her. A stronger bond between two friends will be the instant reward of your patience.
Patience is Respect for Others
Don’t miss the opportunity to deepen your connection with someone who really matters for you just because there is some sort of “Championship Match” going on there on ESPN. Be patient with yourself and others.
When someone asks something, be patient. That would increase the impact and veracity of your answer. Do not immediately shoot off the very first thing that comes to your mind.
Life is not a rapid-talking contest, is it?
Life is not a rapid-talking contest, it’s not a gabfest. Why suffice with one-liners and cliches spun out like a machine gun?
Why use language as a power-tool, as an avalanche of words and sentences that takes the other person hostage?
Be patient and say something original, something thoughtful, in fewer words, something more concise and precise.
Show how much you care for the other person by your initial silence, followed by your carefully calibrated answer. That’s the fruit of patience.
Slow down now, to grow fast later…
Impatience Signals Fear
Sometimes the reason people are impatient and talk like a machine gun is fear; the fear that the second they stop talking something will go wrong.
Inexperienced salespeople, for example, talk nonstop, spewing off one feature or benefit after another because they are afraid that if they slow down they will lose the customer.
By doing so they miss a very crucial moment in the closing process that they teach in every Sales 101 course: silence.
Once you finish your sale presentation, there is a time when you need to shut up and let the silence build up like a mountain. That tension is usually enough to close the deal.
Reciprocation is the oldest human contract. When a salesperson finishes his or her presentation, the following silence obligates the prospective buyer to end the silence and reciprocate by signing the contract. But to do that, the salesperson needs to have enough patience and self-confidence not to disturb the pregnant silence. In those tense situations even pushing the pen with the contract towards the customer is an enough gesture to tip the balance and have the contract signed on the spot.
Patience as Cure for Anger
Control your anger with patience.
Do not lash back at people who poke you and get on your nerves since the results are never beneficial for any of the parties.
Anger leads to more anger, hurt, and destruction. By being patient, you can weather the initial storm, take a deep breath or two, calm down, and share the valuable gift of patient response. As a result, we will all be better.
Patience as Cure for Greed
Patience is an excellent way to prevent the poisonous fruits of greed as well.
Remember again that you are not missing anything if you take a break and think about your options.
Don’t jump on fake offers sold by snake-oil merchants just because you’d like to make a lot of money fast. People usually boast about their earnings without disclosing their expenses or the other trials in which they lost money.
If something sounds too good to be true, the chances are it is not true. Listen to your inner voice.
Patience Develops Intuition
Patience gradually develops your intuition as well, which is your best friend. Develop that inner radar and compass with a daily practice of patience.
Slow down now to grow fast later.
Become a person of power, solid intuition and inner strength by practicing patience at every opportunity.