#41— The Art of Commenting — A collaborative series with Grandma Smillew, Debdutta Pal, and R C Hammond

The Silver Rule of Commenting

This rule can also be applied to many other areas of life

The Silver Rule

If you comment regularly on Medium, you’ll quickly learn the silver rule:

Don’t do to others that which you would not want done to you

If you find jerky commenting behavior on your own stories tiresome, don’t leave jerky comments on others’ stories.*

This rule is simplicity itself, and powerful to boot. Why, then, is it so routinely ignored?

People who themselves have the thinnest of skins leave outrageously inflammatory comments.

• You wrote something they disagree with. Fine, it happens.
• Rather than engage with you on the substance, however, they credit you with uniquely bad intentions.
• They quickly call you a racist, bigot, or supremacist.

Consider now what happens if you politely and patiently point out the logical flaws in their reasoning, their demonstrated lack of humor, or their apparent mental illness driving hysterical overreaction to slight provocations.

• Rather than engage with you on the substance, they credit you with uniquely bad intentions.
• They quickly call you a racist, bigot, or supremacist.

Hmmmm. At least these people are consistent.

But there’s no upside in being perpetually aggrieved. In finding insults hidden in every article. In detecting slights in every comment.

Do you think you’re a good person who has good intentions? Why not assume the people interacting with you are as well?

Do you think you’re intelligent and can both understand and formulate logical arguments? Why not credit your conversational partners with at least the same potential?

Most importantly, do you want to go through life paranoid and bitter, or do you want to be happy?

How you comment and respond to comments says something about you. Think about that and use your powers for good.

You might find it makes you happy at the same time.

Be well.

* Important: A sarcastic or satirical comment is not necessarily a jerky comment. Most often these are meant humorously. Brevity and minimal context lead to easy misunderstanding. When in doubt, API: assume positive intent.

You will find more wisdom in the Art of Commenting series. As you browse the many fine stories, remember that you may join this series yourself. All views are welcome!