The Sexy Science Behind Why You Want To Bite Your Partner
The why and how of better biting.
If your partner likes to bite you (like my girlfriend likes to bite me), you may wonder why. Don’t worry, it probably doesn’t mean they possess cannibal tendencies.
There is actually a scientific basis behind biting.
In this article, I want to share the why and how of biting better in relationships. Let’s talk about “love bites.”
The Psychology of Biting in Relationships
If you ever wondered why your girlfriend or boyfriend likes to nibble on you, then science provides an answer. According to a 2018 study published in the Frontiers of Behavioral Neuroscience, the phenomenon of wanting to bite our partners is called “cute aggression.”
The study explains cute aggression as “the urge some people get to squeeze, crush, or bite cute things, albeit without any desire to cause harm.”
According to the research:
Authors hypothesize that “cute aggression” may serve as a bottom-up mechanism for regulating overwhelming positive emotions…The authors posited that evolutionarily, it would not have been adaptive to become incapacitated by positive feelings in response to a very cute baby who required caretaking. Therefore, the dimorphous expression of cute aggression may occur to regulate these overwhelmingly positive emotions (Aragón et al., 2015).
5 Reasons You Want To Playfully Bite Your Partner
Other than the scientific basis, there are at least five good reasons you want to playfully bite and tease your partner.
Here are those reasons.
1) Biting Is Normal
The biggest thing to know is that biting is completely normal. The urge to playfully bite (without hurting) is not weird, strange, or wrong.
Try to let go of any old beliefs about biting — especially those that you may have learned as a child. Remember, you are not a monster for wanting to bite your partner.
Just always make sure you get consent before you bite.
2) Biting Builds Intimacy
Part of the reason why biting is so much fun is because it helps grow intimacy between you and your partner — especially if they don’t mind being bitten.
“Love bites are love notes written on the flesh.” — The Classy Lovers
The important thing here is that it’s pleasurable for both parties. You are not hurting or overpowering your partner if they enjoy and allow it.
3) Biting Builds Synchrony
We tend to synchronize our movements with others when we are on the same “wavelength.” This is why people who are good friends will begin to mimic each other’s body language, whether it be smiling or leaning in.
Biting is a playful way to mimic your partner. It helps build intimacy and synchrony.
4) Biting Releases Endorphins
When you bite someone, it also releases endorphins for both of you.
Those wonderful feel-good hormones help get rid of stress and alleviate pain. Directly linked with these hormones is increased excitement.
“If you bite my neck, I’m not responsible for what happens next.” — Anonymous
5) Biting Is Animalistic and Primal
Finally, biting is a natural and primal urge. Many of us experience this desire growing up and it’s important to not pretend we don’t.
Just because something is natural doesn’t mean it has to be acted on. Yet, pretending that we don’t carry these urges is disingenuous and disrespectful towards our nature as humans.
How To Playfully Bite Your Partner
Do you like it when your partner sinks their teeth into your neck, or if they give a gentle nip on your earlobe? Biting and nibbling provide a nice little titillation and tease, and it’s also one of the many ways we can show our love for someone.
As with anything else, there are better ways to go about biting. If you want to playfully bite your partner, then here are some helpful tips.
Be Gentle
You don’t want to scare your partner. Plus, if you are too rough, it can be painful. Unfortunately, some of us (cough *me* cough) sometimes lose control and bite a little too hard.
Sorry, baby!
Keep It Fun
Physical intimacy can be funny, silly, awkward, and full of laughs.
Playfully biting and nipping your partner should be one part flirty and one part funny. Biting is a great way to add some “spice” in the bedroom, but it shouldn’t dominate the entire evening.
Use Teasing
Teasing can help build anticipation and excitement — which is exactly what you want when biting your partner. Teasing can come in the form of getting your teeth close to their skin.
It’s all about building up anticipation — by causing small, pleasurable discomfort.
Bite Differently
The main thing to think about is how you can playfully bite your partner in ways that feel correct and appropriate.
Some people like deep bites, while others prefer gentle nibbling. Others may only enjoy having their neck softly bitten.
There are so many different ways to bite and so many different types of bites. Find out what your partner likes and try to incorporate that into your relationship.
Bite All the Places
You can bite (almost) anywhere, so be creative. There are only a few places you probably cannot bite. So, if you really want to playfully bite your partner’s neck or their ear, you can pretty much do it anytime.
Also, try biting their arm, legs, butt, chest, hip, and thigh.
Obviously, take extra caution when nibbling on the more sensitive bits.
Don’t Bite Too Much
Biting can quickly become a negative if it’s overused. Bite too much and your partner might feel like you’re always trying to dominate them.
If this is the case, then stop biting so often and find other ways of showing affection that doesn’t involve teeth. Mix things up. Don’t stop playfully biting altogether, just intersperse it with other forms of intimacy.
Biting is one of the best ways to get intimate with your partner, but it should never be forced. If you are losing control, take a step back.
Biting doesn’t have to be all teeth all the time — it can be playful, gentle nibbles that make both partners feel good. There are numerous ways you can use biting in your relationship, and it’s up to you to discover them.
Final Thoughts: Biting Better in Relationships
Biting is a two-way street.
Personally, I like being bitten, so I’ll all for it. Like any other activity that involves another person, consent is always important. Make sure that your partner enjoys biting before clamping your chompers down on them.
