The Seven Deadly Sins of Medium!
How to avoid wicked writing
This is a guide to the seven deadly sins of Medium, so you know how to spot and avoid them, or how to embrace them if you are so inclined!
Gluttony — “The Bottomless Reader”: This writer can’t resist stuffing their articles with endless words and paragraphs, leaving readers with a content coma. They believe more is always better, even if it’s a 10-minute read on “How to Peel a Banana.” Don’t be surprised if they’re still typing away when Medium’s word count limit taps them on the shoulder.
Sloth — “The Forever Draft”: Meet the eternal procrastinator who’s been working on their groundbreaking masterpiece for months — or maybe years. They have more drafts than published stories, yet they can’t find the motivation to hit that “Publish” button. Their draft folder is like a black hole where creativity goes to hibernate.
Greed — “The Clap Collector”: For this writer, it’s all about the stats, baby! They crave applause, going to great lengths to bait readers into showering their articles with claps. They’d offer you a million dollars for ten claps if they could. Every morning, they check their stats like they’re checking their lottery ticket.
Envy — “The Jealous Commenter”: This writer can’t handle someone else’s success without getting green with envy. When they see a viral post, they can’t help but leave a passive-aggressive comment about how their article about “Cats and Cucumbers” should have been featured instead.
Wrath — “The Troll Fighter”: This fierce keyboard warrior won’t hesitate to jump into heated discussions. They’re the first to engage in a comment war defending their controversial opinions. You can spot them in articles about politics, technology, or whether pineapples belong on pizza.
Lust — “The Sensationalist Click-Baiter”: You know them well ! The writer who promises you the “Top 10 Secrets to Success” only to deliver a listicle of common sense tips you already know. Their headlines are designed to seduce you into clicking, but the content leaves you unfulfilled, much like a bad date.
Pride — “The Guru Know-It-All”: This writer believes they’re the ultimate authority on every subject imaginable. They consider themselves a digital sage, showering readers with their enlightened wisdom, even if they don’t have any expertise. Beware the prideful writer who thinks they’re the reincarnation of Shakespeare, but their work reads like Shakespeare on a bumpy rollercoaster.
Remember, it’s essential to avoid falling into these sinfully entertaining traps. Keep your writing genuine, engaging, and most importantly, have fun!