avatarChris Burgess

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hat it seems as though they value you a little bit more for some reason, and it seems as though there is some envy out there because of your relationship. It all seems very strange, but somewhat intoxicating as well.</p><p id="8f6e"><b>It is the illusion that you buy into.</b></p><p id="0807">The only problem is that your covert narcissist always needs to pick apart the things that you are doing that drive them crazy. No, they cannot be fair and look at things from your angle. It doesn’t matter that you worked all day while they played golf all day and now that they are home they want to start on the basement construction project that they were talking about — you already worked all day but, your energy and time are not respected and both are quickly consumed by this person’s needs.</p><p id="b1b7">Still, you do all of that and you are getting sniped at constantly. You are getting picked at and thumped on for everything you’ve ever done wrong. You are tired, and you are worn out from never getting anything right and having to do everything twice to get it perfect.</p><p id="e307"><b>How do you survive such a situation long term?</b></p><p id="0142">The trick for you my friend, is the common enemy. You need to make sure that you have a common enemy that is at play at all times. Your narcissist

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doesn’t pick on you because they hate you, they pick on you because it is either they pick on themselves or they pick on you. They will never look honestly at their own actions in that regard, so the default action/reaction is to pick on you.</p><p id="1e1d">You need to make sure you have yourself a viable target for them to unload all of their negativity onto, you need to make sure that they have that place to offload all of that garbage they carry on their shoulders. You never know, you may find it bonding and kind of addicting yourself as you both affirm each other by validating your attacks on your mutual enemy.</p><p id="d381">After all, it’s better them than you, right? If you want to live in peace with your narcissist, then you need to make sure you have a common enemy at play at all times. Using this strategy will allow you to postpone the devaluation indefinitely, and you will save a ton of your self-esteem. You can significantly prolong the length of your relationship by making sure you have a common enemy.</p><p id="8cf0">They simply need someone to offload their frustrations onto as they have never learned to cope with failure or that burden of guilt and shame so, it is imperative to find someone below them to cut down to artificially boost their self-esteem.</p></article></body>

The Secret to Making It Work with a Covert Narcissist

Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash

If you are someone that is in love with your covert narcissist, then there is one secret tactic that you’ll absolutely need to have in place if you are going to last any length of time with your self-esteem and self-worth intact.

You know that you love your narcissist. You love it when they make you feel special, and you feel like you are elevated to a higher level when you are with them. It’s as if the two of you form an elite team that is better than you were as individuals, and you’re proud to be part of something so awesome that it makes you feel great.

It seems as though the two of you have an energy or a presence when you enter into any room, and it seems like there are more people that want to hear what you have to say. You notice that it seems as though they value you a little bit more for some reason, and it seems as though there is some envy out there because of your relationship. It all seems very strange, but somewhat intoxicating as well.

It is the illusion that you buy into.

The only problem is that your covert narcissist always needs to pick apart the things that you are doing that drive them crazy. No, they cannot be fair and look at things from your angle. It doesn’t matter that you worked all day while they played golf all day and now that they are home they want to start on the basement construction project that they were talking about — you already worked all day but, your energy and time are not respected and both are quickly consumed by this person’s needs.

Still, you do all of that and you are getting sniped at constantly. You are getting picked at and thumped on for everything you’ve ever done wrong. You are tired, and you are worn out from never getting anything right and having to do everything twice to get it perfect.

How do you survive such a situation long term?

The trick for you my friend, is the common enemy. You need to make sure that you have a common enemy that is at play at all times. Your narcissist doesn’t pick on you because they hate you, they pick on you because it is either they pick on themselves or they pick on you. They will never look honestly at their own actions in that regard, so the default action/reaction is to pick on you.

You need to make sure you have yourself a viable target for them to unload all of their negativity onto, you need to make sure that they have that place to offload all of that garbage they carry on their shoulders. You never know, you may find it bonding and kind of addicting yourself as you both affirm each other by validating your attacks on your mutual enemy.

After all, it’s better them than you, right? If you want to live in peace with your narcissist, then you need to make sure you have a common enemy at play at all times. Using this strategy will allow you to postpone the devaluation indefinitely, and you will save a ton of your self-esteem. You can significantly prolong the length of your relationship by making sure you have a common enemy.

They simply need someone to offload their frustrations onto as they have never learned to cope with failure or that burden of guilt and shame so, it is imperative to find someone below them to cut down to artificially boost their self-esteem.

Dating
Narcissism
Breakups
Relationships
Dating Advice
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