The Secret to Keeping Your Life On Track
Stay on Track with Two Simple Questions
What power is held within these two seemingly simple questions?
- What do you want?
- Why?
I want to unpack this with you.
I want to shed a little light on the context of who I am since we’ve really just met. I enjoy learning who I am. I do this through self-reflection and assessment tests as rough outlines of my inner working.
I am an ENFP-A for those who know about Myers-Briggs. I am a 7w8 for those who know of the Enneagram. My top strengths are Communication, WOO (winning others over), and Strategy — according to Strengthsfinder 2.0. I am a Persuader, according to the PI Behavioral Assessment.
I specialize in the ridiculous.
I’ve had a weird and wild life; from five near-death experiences to living in NYC for college, to backpacking the Himalayan mountains when I had no money, to name a few. I’ve never really felt like I knew what I was doing long-term. I didn’t even plan on going to college except that a couple of my high school teachers encouraged me to apply for a scholarship.
I’ve had a weird and wild life
Upon some recent reflections, I realized I am a bit of a drifter in life. Drifting has brought me a growing collection of experiences and the hard-learned lessons that come with them. I have truly enjoyed my life, suffering included. I feel like I’ve had a full human experience even though I have yet to have some experiences that I would like.
I relish meeting new people, I love and value the freedom of uncharted adventures, and I am constantly playing philosophical tennis with myself.
So what?
What does the above have to do with those two questions?
In my life, I ask myself questions all the time. The two I shared above, are the two that keep me on track and in line. Why do those keep me on track?
A great question to ask, thank you for asking.
By continually asking myself, “What do you want?” then answering it.
Then following up with, “Great, why?” and answering that.
It creates structure, direction, and fuel to get there.
Structure
By regularly checking in with the question, “what do you want?”. I’m making sure I’m building what I want in life. In 2018 I spent a season writing and revising what my life vision is. So, every time I answer this question. I measure it against that vision I wrote in 2018.
Now I don’t believe that vision is forever set in stone. I do believe that it is a good understanding of who I am, what I want, and what I would like to build in life.
It was only possible to create this vision with this simple, yet, powerful question.
“What do you want?”
Today. This week. This quarter. This year.
“What do you want?”
Direction
In each answer, when checking in with myself, I give myself the time to dive into why.
Why do I want ___________ (fill in the blank)?
Do I want it because I want to please my parents?
Maybe, I am trying to go after something due to avoidance. Because that bully in school told me I was stupid.
Perhaps I want to prove something due to the most recent rejection I had — from that job, romantic partner, or group I was trying to join.
All of those scenarios are personal examples I’ve discovered when I volley back against my answer.
I don’t beat myself up over any answer I offer; I simply show up curious.
Why do you want __________ (fill in the blank)?
Fuel
This two-question exercise keeps my inner fire stoked. It gives me short goalposts to move toward. The fuel of knowing I’m going somewhere. There have been two key lessons that have hit me harder than any other. Both came from people I would consider guides, though we’ve never met.
Viktor Frankl and Dan Mohler.
Viktor Frankl was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor. (Wikipedia)
He survived four different death camps during the holocaust. After his release, he wrote a book I recommend every human read called ‘Man’s search for meaning’. One of the snippets was this…
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.” ~Viktor Frankl
Frankl met two types of people throughout his time in the concentration camps. Those who live externally toward others, and those who live for their own survival. He met both in the guards at the camps and both in his fellow prisoners. I am oversimplifying his deep work from his book. Yet his observation remains. Both those types of people had a why in their life.
The second guide is a man named Dan Mohler. He’s a simple man, just a pastor. However, one of the truths he’s dug up throughout his life falls directly in line with Frankl’s revelations from surviving the holocaust.
“The why behind your life is as high as you’ll fly.” ~Dan Mohler
After I came across this question of the “why” behind your life. I have seen it come up time and time again. Which led me to look at my why and create a vision in 2018.
Every person I’ve ever met has a why. Not everyone knows their why. That’s okay; the journey will help reveal the why.
Our why — is our fuel. It keeps us going on the best days and the worst days.
Takeaway
I encourage you to set aside time. Away from your busy life. Time to reflect, even if it’s only fifteen minutes.
Check-in with yourself and ask:
What do I want? Why?
Your answers may surprise you; I know they did for me.
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// Thanks for reading!
