Summary

The article recounts the author's journey to discovering their authentic singing voice by letting go of imitation and embracing their unique vocal qualities.

Abstract

The narrative begins with the author facing a dilemma common to university students: choosing a major. Among the options of singing, acting, writing, and computer science, the author chose singing despite being initially terrible at it. Over four years, the author struggled with imitation and the pressure to excel, until a moment of surrender during a vocal lesson led to a breakthrough. By abandoning the attempt to mimic others and simply being themselves, they produced their best sound and discovered the joy of their own voice. The article emphasizes the importance of letting go of the need to replicate others and the transformative power of relaxation in uncovering one's inherent vocal beauty and authentic self.

Opinions

The author believes that the struggle to find one's own voice is a universal challenge, not just in singing but in life.
They suggest that imitation can be a hindrance to personal growth and that the pursuit of authenticity is crucial for true expression.
The author implies that societal and self-imposed pressures to achieve a certain standard can stifle natural talent and enjoyment.
They express that each person's vocal mechanism is unique, and this individuality should be embraced rather than suppressed.
The article conveys the idea that relaxing and letting go is pivotal in accessing one's innate abilities and producing genuine art.
The author acknowledges the influence of Kristina God, whose

The Secret to Finding Your Hidden Voice

It’s hiding behind what you think is “good”

The university plaza was golden on that autumn day, the leaves passing from chameleon green to gold, from olive to fire red. Restless October wind ruffled my hair and the evening sky gentled from azure to the dark lens of night.

The clear stars, bright and aloof the eternal firmament looked down into my troubled mind.

Four choices whirled inside me, each a possible answer to a mundane but pressing question, a question every university student must eventually answer: what’s my major?

The beginning of the journey

I didn’t have one in mind. Unlike the lucky few who just knew what they wanted to study, I didn’t.

I did want to be really good at something. Maybe building tremendous skill at something — anything — would heal the hole in my heart. My secret fear was that I wasn’t any good at all (but’s that another story).

I struggled between the four choices: singing, acting, writing and the last one thrown in for good measure, computer science.

Each had their own appeal, but in the end, I picked the one I knew least about but touched my passion the most: singing.

There was just one problem. I was terrible. Honestly, hideously abysmal.

But I didn’t know it. At least, I didn’t know it enough for it to stop me. So I tried hard, really hard. Every day. For years.

The Four-Year Overnight Success

In my senior year, I had a breakthrough. Actually it was the breakthrough.

After spending my entire college singing career imitating everyone else, after four years of what amounted to doing vocal impressions, I was tired. More than that, I was dispirited, demoralized, defeated.

I couldn’t sound good, every singing passage was a struggle, pitch was a problem and my self-confidence was in the toilet.

One day in vocal lessons, after butchering yet another beautiful song, my vocal teacher and accompanist sighed in frustration and mumbled, “Alright Chad, let’s just try that one again.”

Their faces showed their disappointment, even resignation that I wouldn’t really ever get better.

Maybe they weren’t looking at a student with a future, but at a hobbyist who’s just fooling himself.

I thought, “Screw it. No more imitation. No more trying to sound some like someone “good”. I don’t have the heart for this charade anymore. I’ll just be me, whatever that is. Open the mouth, relax the throat and make whatever sound I make.”

As I sang the passage again, dispassionate, not caring, just being, my vocal teacher raised his bowed head. His face brightened and he smirked a slightly confused smile. “What did you do?” he quizzed.

“I stopped trying to sound like someone else. I just gave up and let the sound come out on its own.”

“My God,” he nodded slowly, “that is THE best sound I’ve ever heard you make.” He looked at my accompanist for support, “Absolutely,” echoed my pianist. “Whatever you did, or didn’t do, keep doing that!”

That was the happiest note of my college career.

The key is letting go

I went on to sing after college, in community and professional choirs, and had many high points, but none ever topped that eureka moment.

What was the key? What ended my god-awful struggle after five years of high school singing and four years of college singing?

Letting go. The key is to let go of the idea of precisely copying someone else, of trying to be exactly like the great performer you admire.

I was a pretty good impressionist of my vocal teacher, of my section leader in choir, of several professional singers I admired and followed, but I was total garbage at being me.

In singing, every person has their own natural vocal mechanism. It’s completely and totally unique to them, from the shape of their lungs to the diameter of their larynx to the shape of the sinuses in their head and the density of the bones in their skull. All of these add up to create a voice that is utterly distinct in all the world.

No one, absolutely no one, has your unique structure and can natively make your singular sound. You are, quite simply, an exquisite instrument, and only you can figure out how best to play that instrument.

When you relax, physically, emotionally, mentally relax, you will naturally produce art beyond what you’ve imagined. This beauty is inherent in you, it’s built into your being.

There are fewer things more captivating, more arresting than someone fully expressant of their authentic self.

But — and this is the hidden but — you have to get out of your own way.

Let go of the pressure, let go of the stress, let go of the need for some arbitrary, artificial stylistic perfection.

Relaxing is the key. It reveals the authentic, gorgeous, secret you under all the layers.

And in most cases, it’s also the hardest part.

Here’s tribute to Kristina God. Her work, and her heart, inspired me to try my hand at a 15-Day Medium Challenge. It’s not her 30-Day Challenge, but it’s close. 15 arts, 15 days, 15 pubs. This one is Day One. Cheers to you Kristina, thank you for your example.