Inspiration and Leadership

The Secret to Becoming a Great Leader

Become the leader in your life

How can you lead someone else if you cannot lead yourself? To lead others effectively, you must first lead yourself. If you cannot lead yourself, you disqualify yourself as a leader, whether you hold a leadership position or not.

At its essence, leadership is influence, and self-leadership is influencing yourself. It is leading yourself to accomplish more of your potential. When you lead yourself well, you can then lead others far more effectively.

Self-leadership requires getting in touch with who you are while building self-awareness and self-control. It is making decisions based on your values rather than being unduly influenced by someone else’s values and opinions. You create and control your path through life.

“How we lead ourselves in life impacts how we lead those around us.” Michael Hyatt (1955-present)

Leadership and influence

Before taking a look at self-leadership, let’s develop a better understanding of leadership itself. Leadership is synonymous with influence. In some way, no matter how small, everyone influences everyone around them. In other words, everyone is a leader in life.

How you influence others may be subtle, but it is always there. Whenever two people get together, each assumes the leadership role in some manner

Everyone leads in the home. You may or may not be considered the family leader at home, but your spouse and children influence you. Your spouse influences (leads) you anytime they make a suggestion, are silent, demanding, or communicate in any other way.

But you say, I am the youngest in the family, how could I lead anyone? Think about a helpless infant. When infants cry, they are held, cared for, fed, or their diaper is changed. Their crying influences you to do these things, and they are thereby leading you. When a child wants something and pesters you until you give in, who is leading whom? If your teen asks to borrow the car keys, who is leading when you give up the keys?

Another may say, “I am not in a management position at work, so how can I lead there?” Easily. Every time you speak to someone, you influence (lead) them. For instance, if your boss asks you to do something, you may offer another option, push back on a deadline, or lead them in a better direction.

“Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less…titles don’t have much value when it comes to leading.” John C. Maxwell (1947-present)

There are countless approaches to influence those above, at, or below your level in an organization. All you have to do is look, and you will find ways that had not crossed your mind before.

When two or more people are together, they cannot help but influence the other(s). It is a natural and essential part of communicating.

The point is that there are more ways to see leadership and self-leadership than most people imagine. Give some thought to how leadership permeates every part of life. How can you use what you learn on yourself as a leader?

The practice of self-leadership is one of the most important things you can do in life for yourself and everyone around you.

“All human beings are self-leaders; however, not all self-leaders are effective at self-leading” Charles Manz (1952-present)

Building self-leadership

Self-leadership is taking responsibility for your development and growth. It is an ongoing process of uncovering your potential, which is always increasing. It’s about getting better and helping others do the same. It’s about continuously honing your skills.

Self-leadership recognizes that everyone is a leader. Leading yourself is one of the least selfish things you can do. Yes, it is about you, but it’s about you doing better for others.

“True leaders understand that leadership is not about them but about those they serve. It is not about exalting themselves but about lifting others up.” Sheri L. Dew (1953-present)

Additionally, to lead yourself means never becoming a victim and not giving in to pressure to do something contrary to your values. You consciously choose to stand firm and not compromise when things get difficult.

To build your self-leadership abilities, adopt as many of the following behaviors as possible.

• Listen to what others say or to what they are not saying
• Consider multiple perspectives
• Help others succeed
• Influence with or without authority
• Seek input and feedback from others
• Show strength without being overbearing
• Project confidence without cockiness
• Develop a clear vision and understanding of what you want from life
• Be humble but never a doormat
• Develop empathy
• Build self-awareness and self-control
• Be decisive
• Maintain fairness and honesty
• Collaborate with others
• Appreciate others
• Be respectful and earn respect from others
• Provide inspiration and motivation to others
• Practice accountability for yourself and others
• Strive for effectiveness(doing the right things) and efficiency (doing things right)
• Manage your time well

What others can you add to this list?

“Being a self-leader is to serve as chief, captain, president, or CEO of one’s own life.” Peter Drucker (1909–2005)

Final thoughts

Someone once said, “The purpose of leading is not to create more followers; it is to create more leaders!” Think of the gift you can give others by improving yourself and your abilities. The better you become, the more you can influence and help those around you.

I challenge you to become the best leader you can be. Always remember, the secret to becoming a great leader is first to lead yourself.

“First be a leader of yourself. Only then can you grow to lead others.” David Taylor-Klaus (1965-present)

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Bill Abbate Leadership Writer and Editor in ILLUMINATION

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