Spiritual Secret/Life Lesson
The Secret Of Doing Favours
In many instances, it is NOT what you do that counts, but WHO you are
How often do we see people who have come to bite the hands that feed them? This has put some off, from doing good to others thinking that it is without any gratification. It is true that the world is devoid of appreciation and gratitude, and there should be more of it.
How many times, one has guaranteed others, only to be on the hook for signing that deed for others?
Have we noticed how children these days are very far away from their parents, not having neither time nor love to offer when their parents are at their vulnerable age? In the USA, the high cost of caring for the elderly takes its toll on the children who end up abandoning them in hospitals or care homes, which is called granny dumping.
In November 2015, An American flew his 78-year-old Dementia Sufferer dad from his home in Los Angeles and dumped him in a UK car park. Obviously trying to get free UK National Health Service to care for the dad.
You start to wonder, who does that to his dad?
The important issue here is to learn the psychology of doing favours, otherwise, we become hardened and cold towards others’ plight, not blinking an eye when we need to step up and help.
The Purpose Of Our Life Is To Grow
When you look around, you find out that the purpose of Nature is to grow, and growing means being eager to learn more, to be curious, and wanting more, not in terms of material things, but in terms of knowledge and understanding. This is one reason that human beings are never satisfied.
This is quite different from being content. Contentment is a current attribute while never being satisfied refers to the future, and this is the route Nature takes in growing.
So in learning to help others, you realize that this part of you, in helping others makes you grow, albeit spiritually because that is the way to learn about life, about the nature of others, their attitude, their appreciation, their ingratitude, and how they express themselves to you afterwards.
Remember you don’t treat others as they are, you treat others as YOU are because that is the way of Nature.
Nature does not differentiate. A Chinese Proverb says, ‘When the sun shines, it shines on everyone.’
Sometimes, we find people flocking to us because of what they could get from us, and we wonder whether these people have any respect for us at all. You know that people are never satisfied at all. That is one lesson to learn that Nature wants to impact us by doing favours.
Help Those Who Are Undeserving, Nevertheless
You may have heard the story of a good man and a snake. A good man was taking a walk in the woods, and came across a snake, frozen at the point of death. Being a compassionate person, the good man picked it up and warmed the snake in his coat pocket.
Luckily, the snake survived and warmed up, it sprang up ready to bite the good man. ‘Ah! shouted the good man, I saved you from death, and all you can do for me is to bite me.’
‘I can’t help it,’ replied the snake, ‘remember that I am only a snake, that is my nature!’
Most people are like the snake, their nature is ingratitude and wanting more. Understanding that nature in mankind prepares us not to be disappointed if they behave like snakes to us.
‘Teach me to be generous Teach me to serve You as you deserve, To give and not to count the cost, To fight and not to heed the wounds, To labour and not to seek to rest, To give of myself and not ask for a reward, Except for the reward of knowing that I am doing your will.’’ St. Ignatius of Loyola.
Donnette Anglin explains going further for kindness:
The Takeaways
- We must not conclude that all people are bad and unworthy of our help because we come across some ingrates.
- We do not stop doing good because people come to us for what they can get. If that is true, that is their own issue, not ours.
- We must do what our hearts tell us to do, irrespective of whether the person appreciates it or not. If our hearts instruct us, then we know we are doing the right thing.
- The purpose of life is to be a better individual, how can you be better without doing any good to others, trying to water others, developing them, etc?
- Trying to help others should not necessarily make us doormats, so to say, and be blind to reason. If the person starts to take undue advantage of us, then we must stop further assistance.
- We do good to others, NOT because of what we can get out of it.