The search for our lost hopes on the Rialto Bridge

It was a wonderful spring weather outside. The flowers smelled inside my nose. I looked around like someone who lost his love, helpless as I crossed the stone streets. A very long way I had made and finally reached the Rialto Bridge.

There was a big fear in me, as always. Even though I just put my arms on the bridge to look down into the water, a childhood illness did not leave me there. As if everyone from below would think that every second I’ll jump down to kill myself and scream. They would run to stop me. But in reality I just wanted to be alone, fall into dreams, and everything in my memory is to write on the paper, as poems for eternity.

I carefully looked around and noticed that none of the passers-by cared about me. So I was finally released and leaned against the bridge. It was such a nice feeling to look down that even the most beautiful poems could not describe it. Such a beautiful acoustics from the flowing water. Just as it was described, as clear as the conscience of a child and in peace.

Many memories were in me. And then I started quietly repeating this poem:

‘’Venice,

The city with golden chains around the neck,

I’m waiting on the Rialto.

That you bring my lost loves,

With your calmly flowing waters.

Rialto is alone,

I am alone.

I thought you are the love?

Where are the written stories of you,

The legends visited by thousands around the world?

You were just a fable?

Nevertheless, I have not lost my hope

I’m here.

I’m waiting on the Rialto.

I looked at the boats that drove under the bridge, the tourists in it and all the flash coming from their photo machines. Why do they use flash in this weather, I thought in my head. I could even feel the scent of the croissants from the passers-by behind me. For a brief moment I was not there and lost myself in the water’s voice..

..just then, I felt a hand on my back.

I turned around to see who that is. But nobody was there. When I wanted to turn back, my eyes have stopped slightly below. It was a 7–8 year old girl. Of course I could not see such a little princess at first glance. Between her sweet red cheeks I felt an innocent shame and a childish excitement.

“Say my little one,” I said, as I tried to recognize her sweet face among the many roses in her hand.

‘’Do you want roses ?’’ she asked. When I shook my head like ‘’no’’, she said

‘’ but ‘’, ‘’You can give it to your love, is it not possible ?’’

She had said ‘to your love’ without knowing how small she is for those words.

“I still could not find the clean love in another heart,” I answered this little angel.

But she did not give up and gave me a rose. I could no longer say ‘no’ to this sweet figure and accepted it by giving her some coins.

She thanked and turned to leave, just at that moment, after a few steps she stopped and said these words to me: “The roses you hold in your hand already have an owner, otherwise I would not give.’’

She had shown such a smile at the moment, the world would turn for it millions of times.

‘’ If you say so, then it’s my princess, ‘’ I answered. And she started to run until she was no longer in sight. I had a strange feeling in me after this conversation but could not explain it to me. Then I looked at my watch and noticed that it was more than an hour that I was standing on the bridge. I have decided to go back to the city center. I also tried to hide the rose so nobody sees it.

Then when I arrived in the inner streets of Venice I heard an instrument. It sounded so beautiful and automatically attracted me to the voice. It was a wonderful mini-concert, as if a world-famous guitarist has left his real job and plays in the streets. After I took a few more steps, I saw a street artist sitting on the floor on a small rug and sang very beautiful songs with her extraordinary voice. Everyone who passed by threw money into her cap that stood in front.

I thought to myself: ‘’ You do not have much to do anyway, throw a few coins, sit down here and listen to this concert. You can also give the rose in your hand to her and leave the place after some minutes, a perfect idea. ‘’

As planned, I took a few coins out of my pocket and put them in the cap, then put the rose in front of her.

She had not looked at the money, not even for a second,

but just looked at the rose!

I do not know if it was a typical woman’s reflex when she saw the roses, but she immediately lifted her head off the guitar and looked deep into my eyes. She then started to smile. In the old clothes that she had on, her beauty looked like a diamond in a mud.

Suddenly she wanted me to sit closer with her and I came to a little closer. But she did not like that and she said very seriously ‘’ beside me ‘’ and showed the place immediately to the right of where the belongings were. She held my hand tightly.

After I finally sat down, she asked me which song I wanted. I was shocked by the question because I had nothing in my head. ‘’ Should I run away now ‘’ I thought for a second.

‘’ Please ‘’ which song She asked again and by the moment I suddenly remembered an old Italian song that meant a lot to me,

‘’ Felicita ‘’ I said.

She lifted her head very seriously from the guitar again and looked at me in confusion. ‘’ Felicita ? ‘’ she asked and excitedly pulled her gorgeous blonde and long hair away from her face to see me.

I wanted to say ‘’ Yes, Felicita ‘’, but when the ‘’ F ‘’ came out already, she wanted me to be quiet and put one of her fingers on my lips and started the song with one of the most beautiful voices I ever heard:

Felicita e tenersi per mano andare lontano.

( Happiness means holding hands and go far away.

La felicita e il turso suardo innocente in mezzo alla gente.

( Happiness is your innocent look in the middle of the people.)

La felicita e restare vicini come bambini.

( Happiness means staying together like children. )

La felicita, felicita.

( Happiness, happiness. )

Yes, it was a moment of happiness as her blond hair moved from her neck like a gold chain to the right and left, and those eyes that could turn any water in this world on fire, she had a very different Italy in her.

Her eyes did not leave my memory as she said ‘’ Felicita ‘’. I was in such a chaos of emotions, I only wished that this song never ends.

Unfortunately, all good things in life come to an end, especially for people like me. After singing the lyrics one last time, she put her guitar in her bag. She then held me to my hands and helped me to get up. When she looked briefly at the coins in her cap, she turned to me again and looked into my eyes with a deep sadness:

‘’ You ‘’ she said.

‘’You took these roses from Asella, right?’’

Who was Asella, I asked myself.

With a confusion I said that I do not know such a person, I was a foreigner here.

I mean this sweet little girl who sells roses. I still did not understand it.

‘’ The girl with the red jacket ‘’

“No, that can not happen,” I whispered to myself. Are there any cameras tracking me in this city?

Where should I wave? ‘’

She laughed and said, “Do not worry”

She started to tell:

My name is Giovanna and I have been away from my house for 18 years. I play the guitar and sing all over the streets in Europe. I had many difficult times in my life and always wanted to give up my freedom. But whenever I said ‘’ It’s over ‘’ a miracle came and knocked on my door. Today it was such a day again. With an exhausted hope, I came here this morning with the thought of where I’m going to sleep tonight because I have not earned enough for days.

In this hopelessness, I decided this morning to start with the song ‘’ Felicita ‘’. There was no one in sight yet. At that moment, I suddenly saw a little girl in front of me, but I could not see her face behind the flowers.

She heard the song until the end and asked me if I could sing the song again. Her question was so innocent and sweet that I could not say ‘no’.

I repeated it twice for her. After it was finished, she has applauded me with her beautiful little hands, for a few minutes. I can not explain to you what a happy feeling in me this was after a very bad night on the street. Then she took out of her pocket a bag full of coins and poured all the money into my cap.

‘’ This is Alessa’s gift for you, ‘’ she said.

Although I did not want to accept it and replied, “I do not want to have any money from you for which you have worked so hard, I played it for free.”

Unfortunately, she did not listen to me and before she left the place, looked at my face and said these words with the most beautiful smile in the world:

‘’ The money for the roses has been paid. ‘’

I could not understand it at the moment ..

..until you arrived here and gave me her roses.

At that moment, worlds collapsed in me, it was like a time in a parallel world. Nevertheless, I have fought against it, but then came the top of all ..

‘Wait’ I said, until I told you ‘play for me Felicita, right?’’

Just at that moment, I realized one thing, ‘that love and happiness is hidden in the purity of a child’ ‘Giovanna continued to tell.

We are not clean, not anymore! If that were the case, you and I would find what we are looking for in all the years, she said in a very sad voice, and two drops were coming down from her eyes.

A small child who earned his money with great difficulty had given it to someone else that day. Without thinking about whether you will survive the day in the street. It was a love without expectation. Clean, pure and priceless. Giovanna and me? We were just supporting roles in this movie, also called as the Monster ‘’ Life. ‘’

But there was still ‘’ hope! ‘’

Because Alessa was still waiting for us with the roses in her hand anywhere. We would have to follow this child to find the real ‘love’ and ‘happiness’.

When I thought of all these things in my mind and heart, Giovanna had already left the place.

Me?

I returned to the Rialto Bridge and am still waiting here for everything I lost in life.

For all those times when we still had clean and beautiful dreams, one last time, together, ‘’ Felicita ‘’

Stay in love and happiness.

Whoever you are or wherever you are.

And know the value of your love, never leave it,

Because time will never come back..

-Harun Reşit Aydin-