The Role Of Dishonesty In Addiction
It’s well known that the level of importance of honesty in addiction recovery is quite high. It could easily be one of the very most important of all. Honesty is the difference maker for the future of your sobriety. If you flip that fact like a coin, we have a glimpse from an opposite angle.
For the amount of power that honesty gives a person’s sobriety, dishonesty is at least as powerful if not more for the strength and life of an active addiction.
I came to that conclusion when I was recently asked the question of “what role do I think dishonesty plays in addiction?” Well, apparently a lot, because the detailed answer I gave was the spark of a almost two hour discussion all about it.
Dishonesty is a form of attempted protection of oneself. It can be an attempt to minimize or mask things we do that may bring us much shame, guilt and sorrow. Dishonesty also may be prevalent as a way to very briefly feel better.
Us addicts lie to others about our addiction almost all the time. Often completely disillusioned, thinking that we’re actually making someone else feel better.
But we’re probably not usually successful considering the fact that almost any honest sober person can easily see through a lying addict.
However in sad desperation, we still do it, as a result of our internal guilt, and everything terrible that it causes.
I think there are a lot of people out there that really have no clue to the incredible power that honesty can have in its way of being so liberating, a giant weight lifted. Turning our dishonesty around, though scary in its own right, is often worth that short pain of the shock and reaction in comparison to that liberating feeling I just mentioned.
When it comes to my own personal experience I can honestly say that each time I had gotten professional help with my own issues with addiction and mental health issues, I turned honest each and every time.
I would had never even seeked that help if I didn’t break my dark truth to some loved one or medical professional. That is why I say that the loved one’s initial reaction is nothing, compared to the wonderful, and confident feelings it can pave the path for.
Dishonesty is the fuel for isolation, loneliness, and internal pain. No matter how great a liar we are, no matter how much we lie to ourselves or others, there will always be a subconscious of our deep down that knows we’re lying. It makes us hate ourselves even more.
We get so lost and wrapped up in our lies, nobody around us knows what true or false is anymore when it pertains to us.
I have heard many times, and I can attest that we lie to ourselves more than we lie to anyone. I think that goes way beyond just addicts too. It may not sound as serious as lying to another person, but being dishonest to our own selves is a barrier with somewhat infinite strength. We ourselves are the creator of it, but it is we ourselves that seem to have such difficulty in breaking.
How can an addict or alcoholic seem recovery and sobriety? It is more than finding that honesty to ask someone for help. It is to be able to sincerely tell yourself that you are sick of being sick and you’re through with the trauma that substance abuse brings us.
Yes it is trauma. An addict does not have to get beat up, robbed or raped to have experienced trauma. The act of just living that life is 24/7 trauma. From the self hate, self loathing, fear, guilt, sadness, to the isolation.
Escaping that trauma and finding sobriety will never work, until those seeking it, are seeking it because they really want it. Once that happens, escaping the darkness is very possible. There is plenty of light out there. Go seek it.
