The (right) mentorships

The more your values align within a mentorship, the better the experience and outcome for both of you. That’s been my experience with mentorships over the past fifteen years.

Here’s how I can tell when I’ve chosen the right mentor for myself:

1. I leave a planned meeting, with my mentor, feeling invigorated and excited about my goals.
2. I look forward to my next meeting with my mentor.
3. Most of all, I feel supported and accepted by my mentor. Flaws and all. I feel comfortable hearing encouragement from them, and equally comfortable hearing how I can improve.

Here’s how I can tell when I’ve chosen the wrong mentor for myself:

1. I leave meetings with my mentor feeling queasy and unsure of myself. Like something bad just happened but I can’t put my finger on it (yet).
2. I’m anxious about my next meeting with my mentor because they haven’t actually confirmed their attendance yet, or they’ve cancelled last-minute on me before.
3. Most of all, I feel like I’m getting reviewed subjectively over my character and personality, versus the goals I have for myself.

Mentees

Same goes for when I choose a mentee. If I feel hope for my mentee, and wonder what amazing things they’re going to end up doing in our world, I take those as good signs I chose right. If I feel drained by my mentee, then it’s probably not the right fit – either because of personality types (too different) or values-alignment.

Moral of the story

Mentors have been an integral part of my career and life success. I’ve been lucky to have many good mentorships in my life. Although when I think about it, the harder I work at ensuring a right fit, the luckier I am.

Happy mentorships.