The Reluctant Reader
Whose Grandmother Refused to Give Up
Our grandson Caleb lived with us during his last year in middle school. He resisted his nightly reading homework, but ultimately his Grandmother won the battle. (Note: This is a story about a 14-year-old, but what worked for him will work for you too. You’ll love it! Even better than yoga.)
The Reluctant Reader: “Why Does Anyone Need to Read?”
When I was a little girl, I watched my parents and my grandparents read . . . a lot. If you’re as old as I am, you probably had the same experience.
Now I adored both my Father and my Grandfather. I wanted to be just like them. To be just like them meant I needed to be reading so I taught myself how to read before I trotted off to kindergarten.
I didn’t know that my Grandfather never read anything beyond the classified ads for hunting dogs and rifles. Didn’t know he never graduated from high school.
Fast forward: Now our grandson Caleb is living with us for the year. He’s 2–3 years behind in reading. Sees no reason why he or anybody else would need to read, must less WANT to read.
Anything beyond short abbreviated text messages is clearly a waste of time and BORING.
Unfortunately, from his perspective, the Denver Public Schools think middle school kids should read . . . every night. They suggest 30 minutes.
Caleb’s teacher and I agreed that maybe in Caleb’s case 30 minutes is extreme so we settled on 15 minutes, and he gets to choose the books.
He balked. He whined. He cajoled. I won on the condition he would set the kitchen timer for 15 minutes. He certainly wasn’t going to be “cheated” and accidentally read for 16 minutes!
After the first two nights of this reading regime, he announced that he might die from all this reading. I asked what would help?
He suggested that I should read with him at the same time in the same room. I agreed. While he read his book, I would read the newspaper which I hadn’t gotten around to earlier in the day.
Now I’m guessing he thought it wouldn’t work. That I, too, might worry about death caused by reading. It never crossed his mind that someone, his own Grandmother for example, might actually ENJOY reading.
After a couple of nights of this, he asked “Grandma, are you really reading the paper or are you just pretending to read it?”
To which I answered, “Of course I’m reading it. Why would you even have to ask?” And he responds, “Grandma, you’re weird.”
Sadly in Denver and around the country, lots of kids agree with Caleb and lots of them are a couple years behind in reading . . . or more.
The Reluctant Reader: “Reading Isn’t Cool.”
Reading every evening for 15 minutes kinda works. But it’s not the end of the story. Turns out reading isn’t cool. Maybe you’re more in tune than I am, but I was definitely startled. Huh? Reading isn’t cool?
It first started when he got home from school one day without the book he was supposed to read. I figured it was yet another way to get out of the requisite 15-minute evening reading requirement.
I cut him off at the pass right away: “Well, Caleb, guess you’ll have to read one of my books. I do have some kid books like Harry Potter.” Oops, he’s not reading Harry Potter. The first volume alone is a whopping 309 pages.
And why on earth would you read something that’s also on a disc you’ve already seen?
Not to be deterred from my purpose, I mention that I have a few other books from my childhood. But no way is he reading girl books or books that are THAT old.
I find a book for kids that will help with ADHD. It has lots of pictures and bullet points. He finally agrees to read this for 15 minutes but hates it. It’s even more boring than other books.
The next day he dutifully brings his book home from school — hidden under his hoodie — so at least he can read a book he’s chosen.
“Caleb, why is your book under your hoodie instead of in your back pack.” He looks at me like I’ve just lost my mind and patiently explains that reading isn’t cool. That he would NEVER want another kid to see him taking a book home.
I check this out with his teachers the next day. Sure enough, part of the struggle they have getting kids to read is the “cool factor.”
Still thinking that eventually I’ll just give up, he comes home again without a book. I say “Fine. You don’t want to read what I have. We’ll just go to the library right now, and you can choose a book.”
Without skipping a beat, he argues that going to library is out of the question because someone might see him at the library.
Now there’s a certain amount of logic here: If reading isn’t cool, libraries obviously represent the height of un-cool-ness. But “someone might see me” isn’t so logical.
I remind him that if someone sees him at the library, they might be getting a book too. He and his friend can now be un-cool together. So off we go to the library. He chooses a book and eventually finishes it.
The Reluctant Reader: “I Have to Take Out the Trash so I Can’t Read.”
By now Caleb is doing fairly well with his reading. I’m in the room with him reading my newspaper, and the timer is on for 15 minutes.
But remember, this is a boy who doesn’t want to read, thinks it’s a waste of time, and is convinced it’s not cool. His friends don’t want to read either.
Within a month, we’re back to the whining, the excuses, the stalling around.
“Grandma, I can’t read now. I gotta take out the trash. Then I hafta do my laundry.” What some kids will do to get out of reading! Now what am I going to do?
Cross Crawl to the Rescue
Then I remembered cross crawling and other ways of crossing the midline. How crossing the midline of the body helps integrate the right side and left side of the brain. That cross crawling helps with focus and concentration.
Caleb had learned how to cross crawl when he was just a tyke.
But now, you guessed it: “Grandma, I can’t do cross crawl. It’s for little kids. I’m grown up!” I don’t argue that 14-years-old isn’t my definition of grown up.
I suggest that it will help, reminded him that it helped when he was little, and promise not to tell his friends he’s doing cross crawl.
But he doesn’t care whether it will help or not since he doesn’t want to read. How to get him to cross crawl?
I say I’ll cross crawl with him. We can do it to music. He can choose the music. Still not enough. Finally I suggest that he, Grandpa, and I will do cross crawl together.
He argues that Grandpa is busy and won’t want to cross-crawl. I argue that Grandpa probably will cross crawl with us. I win the argument.
We can get crazy with it. Pretend we’re dancing. This works. After all, Grandpa is considerably cooler and less weird than I am!
So the three of us cross crawl for 3–4 minutes. Eureka! It works. Caleb sits down calmly, picks up his book and . . . continues to read AFTER the timer has gone off. He reads for a full 18 minutes to finish a chapter!
I don’t want to exaggerate. Cross crawl wasn’t a magic bullet for Caleb. Certainly didn’t turn him into an enthusiastic reader. Didn’t turn him overnight into reading at grade level.
But it changed his attitude on the spot and helped him focus! No more fussing about reading. No more interrupting his reading to ask if I had the timer on or how much time was left.
He was able to tell me more specific details about what he read than before and with more interest in engaging in the conversation.
Cross crawl works for reluctant readers. It works for writers who can’t find the words. Works for entrepreneurs with so much on their plate, they can’t focus on the task at hand.
How to Cross Crawl
Stand up, lift your left leg, touch it with your right hand. Now lift your right leg and touch it with your left hand. Since you’ve got that down, use your elbow instead of your hand. That’s it!
You can do it very slowly which is most effective and harder. Or cross crawl quickly, with out without music. You can even do it sitting at your desk when your stuck on some boring task.
Still not sure? Maybe a demo would help. Just google “cross crawl” on YouTube.
P.S. You can also try going to a large bookstore. One that has a coffee bar so you can bribe your reluctant reader. Goes like this, “After you choose a book — not a game or a puzzle — we can get something to drink and a taste treat in the coffee bar.”
Read more about crossing the midline and find out how to do it by tracing an infinity sign.
