The score of my life: prompt

The Rejuvenating Toil

A choice for Catharsis

I saw the toiling of a whole day passing by my left foot as I was taking my nightly shower, after having sensed it flowing on my body, being washed away by hot water that loosened my head and my trapezius muscle.

But, a part of it stayed on me; its relieving one. It’s what remains after the labor for something one considers highly valuable.

A sense of elevation, within the in-between field; like being a feather that can’t defeat gravity, but doesn’t lose its ability to fly either. A feeling that I suddenly start “exhaling” a magical unspecified steam from the pores of my skin.

Rejuvenated, instead of exhausted. Revitalized through toiling for something wider than my personality’s microcosm. An effort that offers a resting, which gradually leads to the effortless just be. A non-contradicting contradiction. Phenomenally oxymoron, but non-oxymoron underneath.

So, a shower turned into a lake of Catharsis, as I realized that one more day passed without me forgetting the Purpose. Another earthly 24-hour context, with the Greek tragedy’s phases being manifested through small or big experiences of Anagnorisis, because I have chosen to consciously work for full self-awareness. Another day with my omnipresent Self-Observer being heard; the other “me” — and part of me simultaneously — that watches me from the outside all day long, though it also lies within.

I don’t know how many “now” will I live until the final destination, but I know that — for a long time now — the voice of my Self sounds louder in me than the voice of my personality.

And this is something I conquered because I chose not to flinch in front of my 12 Herculean labours.

Since I was 19 years old, I was standing on a dilemma. Many factors around me — or/and in my “narrower” than now mind — pushed me to choose between my materiality and my spirituality. But something — unspecified back then — was signaling differently; something about that dilemma felt off. Something was telling me that the point wasn’t to demonize or deify any of these two, but to realize what was the meaning/the role/the mission of each. I made a decision back then; to find out what that signaling meant. The 20-year route until now had many phases. For the last seven years, things have been even clearer than in the “past”, but the last three have been determining.

There were three very important things I said to myself straightly almost five years ago, after having collected relevant personal experience: I am the ONLY person responsible for what I was, am, and will be within my life as an adult. Theory leads to nothing if I don’t REALLY work in the everyday-life-field for bringing into the light of consciousness the content of my subconscious. Profit always comes with a cost, and since for me the profit of knowing Real Self is high, I will be paying the cost without whining.

This piece was written in response to the prompt: The Score Of My Life/Soul Crucible

Anthi Psomiadou — CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 International : Credit must be given to the creator/ Only noncommercial uses of the work are permitted/ No derivatives