The Reason You Hate Cats, Explained
Representing for team feline
As a lifelong cat lover, I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon among many dog people. A subtle or not so subtle need to compete on which pet is superior.
One of the comments on this video about how cats show attachment sums it up nicely.
While this is exaggerated for comedic effect, I’ve seen and felt this low-level resentment from dog people many times.
Cats are often described as aloof or even downright hostile, while most dogs are friendly and only too happy to approach strangers. It would seem like no contest for which is the superior pet.
But those who know cats realize they just have more complex relationships with humans.
To put it simply, the canine mindset is like that of a young child while the feline mindset is like that of an adult.
When you meet a new dog, they’re generally happy to see you. Their tail wags, their ears lower, they demonstrate visible excitement.
When you meet a new cat, they’ll observe you from afar. Some will approach you, others allow you to approach them. They sniff you, size you up, and absorb your energy.
Then they decide how to respond.
The difference is very similar to how young children meet new people versus adults. Kids barrel right up to a stranger and start telling them about their day. It’s sweet and endearing, exhibiting both trust and a lack of discretion. They’re always open to connection, much like dogs.
Adults are courteous, but generally not overly effusive to strangers. We subtly observe cues and behaviors and act accordingly. We form opinions slowly based on context. We are open to some connections and closed to others, much like a cat.
Dogs are far less discriminating. They love great owners and terrible owners with pretty much the same level of ardor.
A cat’s approval is based on merit. If you treat a cat well, it will typically like you. If you don’t, it won’t.
Dogs love when humans approach them. Cats often prefer to be the initiator.
Those who think cats lack patience should try going to a cat café. I did it once and never again. The patrons were well-meaning people but had no real understanding of cats. They were getting all up in their space in all the wrong ways.
- Being overly aggressive, loud, and high-energy
- Picking up a cat they just met
- Petting the no-no spots like the tail
Did these cats hiss or get aggressive? No. Many of them eventually got up and walked away. Others gave the guests a few warning glares and finally made a faux swat intentionally designed to miss the skin.
Human beings are just now learning to express boundaries. For cats, it’s their zone of genius.
I have a theory that people who hate cats secretly feel hurt and rejected by them. Compared to dogs, they can seem like mean girls. They don’t instantly love you. But then again, why should they?
Children form relationships instantly. Adult relationships take time.
A great way to meet a new cat is to let them sniff your hand, and speak to them a little bit. Be low-key. Give them a gentle pet or two, then move away.
A cat who enjoys the attention will seek you out for more. They’re not fond of “pick me” energy and don’t want you to fawn all over them.
You know, like most adults.
Any cat owner will attest they’re very loving. They greet them when they get home, often love to cuddle (on their own terms), and will instinctively comfort you when you’re sad or sick.
They’re also affectionate to friends. My fuzzy niece and nephew know me well and show me affection in cat ways. They jump up on the counter to greet me when I walk in. They snuggle up beside me on the couch and make biscuits when I pet them. They wait outside the door when I use the bathroom. They hover beside their toys, looking at me expectantly.
Cats will never be like dogs but it’s no use resenting them for it. They sense their equality and in an age of personal empowerment, isn’t that something to celebrate?
Most cats are friendly and amenable to those who treat them well. They’re only asking for what we ourselves want — respect.
A relationship with a cat takes time. If you’re not getting a good response, ask yourself: would I behave this way towards an adult I just met? If not, problem solved.
If you need a little more convincing about cats, I recommend reading Mahgol J’s short but powerful meditation on how they live life.
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