The REAL Reason You’re Not Getting Views And Making Big Bucks

Algorithm secrets that could get you killed

I have alternative explanations for why you aren’t getting those views. And they have nothing to do with posting religiously every day, increasing your writing skills, how many followers you have, or whether you sacrifice live pizza to the medium-sized gods.

After I publish this, I might go missing. No one’s gonna like me spilling the beans publicly. It’s a risk I have to take.

Just reading this information will put you on a hit list. So if you can’t handle looking over your shoulder, wondering when a medium-sized company will send their crack team of assassins to destroy you, stop reading now.

Still here? Okay, but don’t say I never warned you if trained writer-killers come for you in their black suits and sunglasses.

What follows is a true story, as related to me by my friend Josh Baker. He no longer trusts any form of electronic device, so I agreed to get the word out for him.

Josh Sees The Algorithm

Josh could feel a cold sweat starting as he got into the elevator and pushed the button for the 14th sub-level. The credentials and security card his hacker buddy Susan crafted for him were doing their job, but it was only a matter of time before he got spotted by Medium’s goons. Then it was game over.

As elevator doors open on sub-level 14, Josh braced for — what? Armed guards? Busy workers? But the hallway was empty. So he exited the elevator and quietly walked through a foyer to a set of double doors with windows. He cautiously looked through.

This? This was the fabled supercomputer of the giant corporation that all the writers of the world relied on to publish their stories? Josh stumbled back in disbelief, a shocked laugh forced out of him.

A massive room with hundreds of laptops on individual desks. At each desk, a monkey typed furiously on the keyboard in front of him.

Josh slowly opened the door and crept forward to see what the monkeys were typing. As he scanned over a monkey’s shoulder, he saw it was code. And it made sense. This monkey was a genius!

Then the world went dark.

Josh Slowly Came Awake With a Splitting Headache

He was sitting in a chair, he realized, with his arms tied behind his back. He had been drooling all over himself while unconscious, too.

Josh realized there was a man in a white lab coat standing in front of him.

“Mister Baker. Josh Baker, am I right?” the man asked. “Don’t bother telling me your lies. We knew within minutes of you entering that elevator that you were a spy. So tell me, what do you think you saw down there?”

“I - I don’t know,” Josh stammered. “I thought I was going to find the secret of the Medium algorithm, but I saw monkeys programming?”

“I’ll let you in on the secret, Mr. Baker. The algorithm for how many views and such is connected to an interface we can alter daily if we choose to. And it really isn’t that complicated. We are in complete control.”

“But we enjoy experimenting. And right now, we are running a huge experiment on writers and their mental states. We can deny them any views and then measure their mental anguish through sensors placed in every cell phone, every laptop. There are microchips all around you, Mr. Baker. Do you think they are just there to serve you?”

“But why? Why do this?”

“Because we can!” the scientist barked out with a cruel smirk on his face.

“Okay, so you’re torturing writers. But what about the monkeys?”

“That will be our true legacy. These genetically engineered monkeys are working on creating artificial intelligence that will make humanity obsolete! Soon we can release it onto an unsuspecting internet and take over the world!”

They Let Josh Go

They unceremoniously tossed him out on the street. He even got to keep his phone. But now that he knew it contained microchips, he didn’t trust it. After all, if he wanted microchips near him, he would have just taken that damn Covid vaccine. Everyone knew it was loaded with microchips.

Over the next few days, Josh told everyone about the suffering caused by this medium-sized corporation, how they were torturing writers just to collect data.

He told them about the monkey algorithm too. But everyone just pointed and laughed at him with one hand covering their mouths. It was humiliating.

He retreated to his tiny apartment to feel sorry for himself. And inside his cell phone, a special microchip recorded his misery. Because it could.

The Moral Of This Story

Don’t trust microchips! Smash your cell phone today.
Monkeys will create artificial intelligence that will make you obsolete.
Your feelings of sadness and lack of views are just part of a secret plan to ruin your life.

There you have it. Now you know the real truth behind what’s making your writing flop. Now smash that phone before the assassins use it to track you down.