Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of using funerals as a reminder to live life to its fullest, rather than merely mourning the dead.

Abstract

The article "The Real Purpose of Funerals" posits that funerals should serve as a catalyst for the living to reassess and enrich their own lives, rather than solely focusing on the loss of a loved one. It suggests that while grief is natural, the realization of one's own mortality should inspire individuals to pursue their dreams and goals, such as traveling, learning new skills, or changing their lifestyle. The author reflects on personal experiences, including the death of a friend in a mass shooting, to illustrate the suddenness of death and the urgency to live meaningfully. The article encourages readers to take action and make changes while they still can, quoting Steve Jobs on the liberating perspective of embracing mortality to live without fear of loss.

Opinions

Funerals are seen not just as occasions for mourning, but as opportunities for the living to appreciate and reaffirm their own lives.
The inevitability of death is acknowledged, but it is also viewed as a motivator to live fully and accomplish personal goals.
The author expresses a sense of relief at not being the one who has passed away, highlighting a somewhat taboo but common emotional response to funerals.

The Real Purpose of Funerals

Stop mourning & start living

Funerals are not a time to mourn the dead but to reaffirm your life. Photo by **Pavel Danilyuk** from **Pexels**

Funerals are sad occasions until you realize you’re not dead yet.

Sure, we mourn the loss of our loved ones. We grieve. We cry. We pay our respects. We sign the funeral register book.

We share memories and funny stories with our family and friends. We look at old photos of the dear departed arranged throughout the visitation room.

But deep down, don’t you feel relieved that you’re not the one in the casket or urn? You know your time is coming, of course. No one escapes death.

You can try to prolong your life through exercising and dieting. Regular check-ups with your doctor can provide early warning signs of diseases like cancer or heart failure. Taking prescription medicine and vitamins can also help.

Dropping unhealthy habits like cigarette smoking can extend your life too.

But in the end, death comes knocking. And while you can ignore opening your door to annoying salespeople and religious missionaries, the Grim Reaper isn’t going to quit and walk away.

You have no choice but to answer the door.

Every funeral we attend reminds us our time is limited.

We write bucket lists of the dreams and goals we want to accomplish before we die.

Maybe it’s taking a cruise.

Maybe it’s learning a new skill.

And for the more adventurous type, maybe it’s living in a trailer, traveling around the country, and working remotely.

But then, reality rears its ugly head.

Don’t you have to pay the mortgage or rent?

Don’t you have to pay your student loan?

Don’t you have to pay your car note?

And the list of financial responsibilities and debts piles on with no end in sight.

When the Grim Reaper comes knocking, you have no place to run or hide. Image by Ray Shrewsberry from Pixabay

Until the invitation for the next funeral arrives, and you start the whole cycle of dreaming and wishing again.

When my father died several years ago, I thought I would change my life.

I didn’t.

When my aunt died about five years ago, I thought I would change my life.

I didn’t.

But when an old friend about my age was killed three years ago from a mass shooting in his workplace, that’s when I began to change.

Imagine going to your office as usual, without a care in the world. And then, in the afternoon, a crazed killer shoots you because he has a beef with your company. My friend’s murder was nothing personal, mind you. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The same was true with his co-workers. They were minding their business and working when they were all shot in a matter of minutes. Little warning. Only seconds to think or react before dropping dead.

I went to my friend’s funeral. Great turnout. Wonderful eulogies.

But he’s dead. I’m still alive. Now what?

It’s one thing to attend a funeral of someone who lived a long and wonderful life. It’s quite another to go to the funeral of someone near your age who died unexpectedly and tragically. My friend didn’t have an opportunity to say goodbye to his wife. He had no time to reflect on his life.

He died instantly.

And knowing that I could die as suddenly as my friend did, made me realize I needed to make some serious adjustments to my life.

As Steve Jobs once said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

So, did I go back to my usual routine of coasting and making excuses?

No.

I moved forward. I chose a different path.

Sometimes I hit roadblocks or took a wrong turn.

But I continued plowing ahead and overcoming challenges and obstacles along the way. Because by the time my funeral rolls around, it’s going to be too late for me to change.

Funerals are depressing. But what’s even more demoralizing is a life that is not fulfilling.

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