The Pursuit of Happiness leads to Unhappiness

Cultivating contentment leads to lasting happiness

The word ‘happy’ originated from Old Norse's happ meaning luck or chance. Happiness, whether as an emotion or a state of being, is short-lived. People return to their base level of happiness after experiencing life’s trials according to the theory of hedonic treadmill or hedonic adaptation.

If I win a lottery, my happiness will not stay with me permanently. With lottery-winners, the reverse usually happens — they become miserable after experiencing the stress of keeping the money safe from greedy friends and relatives. More lottery-winners have lost their wealth than preserved or enhanced it.

Happiness, when it occurs as an outcome of a meaningful activity that challenges one’s abilities, however, lasts more than the pleasure that we get out of getting a high-paying job, buying an extra car, or marrying someone we loved. However, extending oneself in pursuit of higher goals demands to experience a state of flow or peak state of heightened consciousness, difficult for most people.

The word ’contentment’ is derived from the Latin word contentus meaning satisfied. Contentment is acknowledging life’s inherent worth; it is being glad at simply being. It is accepting who we are and what we have in a non-judgemental way.

“True contentment is a real, even active virtue — not only affirmative but creative. It is the power of getting out of any situation all there is in it.” (G.K.Chesterton)

We tie happiness to external events and experiences. Contentment is an attitude independent of what the outside world throws at us. When practised consistently, this attitude solidifies into an abiding virtue.

There are a lot of misconceptions about the meaning of contentment because people identify it with a mere feeling of superficial satisfaction. Instead of trying to explain what contentment is, let’s try to understand what it’s not.

Contentment is not laziness

Some say contentment reflects a lack of ambition and drive to achieve more in life. Lazy minds try to justify their lack of initiative, to try challenging things by pretending to be content with what they have.

Contended people are also dynamic. They try to actualize their potential. But they don’t fuzz about reaching targets or achieving benchmarks. Success may delight them, but failure does not demoralize them.

Contentment is not complacency

Some people feel that contentment is a smug acceptance of one’s life situations. It’s just making do with what we have for what we could have achieved.

Contended people distinguish between wants and needs.

“I don’t have everything I want but I have everything I need,” (James MacDonald, Evangelist)

Humans have an unlimited craving to gain material possessions. The markets flourish by stoking our wants and making us buy things we don’t really need in our lives. Few can escape the allure of subliminal advertising. People buy fancy cars to keep up with Joneses. The contended know how to resist the temptation of social comparison. They are wise to limit their wants.

Contentment does not kill innovation

There is a widespread belief that a feeling of contentment kills creativity and critical thinking. Contentment does not discourage people from exploring and experimenting with unfamiliar things. Contentment is not a closure of the zeal and wonder for life. Contentment and curiosity are not incompatible.

Contented people do not add value to society

This is the greatest misconception about contentment. Value is not merely material, it has emotional and spiritual components. The contended souls find happiness not in making more and more money but in helping others navigate the turbulence of life.

By practising gratefulness and acceptance, the contended people stand out as spiritual exemplars of meaningful living. Being oases of tranquillity in a vast desert of feverish anxiety and restlessness, the contended extend hope and a healing touch to troubled minds.

Contentment will make us poor

Contentment is not about glorifying poverty or misery. One must have optimum levels of health, wealth, patience, and nobility to lead a contented life.

The nine requisites for contented living originally proposed by Reverend William D. Smith and later attributed to German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, captured the optimum base for contentment in these beautiful words:

“Health enough to make work a pleasure, Wealth enough to support your needs, Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them, Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them, Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished, Charity enough to see some good in your neighbour, Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others, Faith enough to make real the things of God, and Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.”

Contentment is a function of an optimum mix of desirable attitudes and behaviours mentioned above.

Contentment is a sensible philosophy. It is not a mystical and high brow concept. It embraces reality.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ( Epicurus )

Happiness is a legitimate aspiration in our trouble-prone and stressful lives. But it is a short-lived emotion and leaves us striving more and more to be happy because our expectations, desires, and wants shift endlessly.

Contentment, a healthy state of the mind, leads to lasting happiness as we embrace acceptance and gratefulness for what we already have.

Thanks for reading.