The Psychology of Self-Love

Self-love. A heated psychological topic.

Most people deliberate that self-love is staring really hard in the mirror persuading identity that you fond your body, even though you spent years at war with your reflection leering back at you. You do not really mean the words that are adverting out of your mouth.

Self-love means possessing a high regard for your own well-being and pleasure. Self-love means alluring care upon your personal needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

But self-love is actually more about obtaining into a relationship with yourself. After all, you’re the person you have to sleep with every single night, for the rest of your life. So, nurturing that relationship is crucial — and believe it or not, greatly impacts all of your other relationships as well. How you feel about yourself will invite in the standard of relationship you are accepting into your life. Essentially, you are educating others how to love you, by the way you adore yourself.

Self love; an ongoing, daily practice. It is not the destination, it is the journey. It is not something we suddenly switch, in order to proclaim all problems solved. It is something we toil on every lone day. Some days we nail it, some days we need to work a little bit harder.

It’s okay.

I have pieced together nine things needed, in order to truly allow for love to conquer.

**1. QUALITY TIME**

Quality time on a diurnal basis. Yes, that is correct. They disburse time solitary, in which, a lot of people fear. When we spend time alone, that is when we really begin to acknowledge and get to know ourselves. People who love themselves worship time alone. They take on solo dates to a restaurant or the cinema. They separate from their family and friends to do something for themselves, such as having a long bubble bath, reading a good book, getting a massage, doing some journalism, etc. Scary , yet you’re your own companion.

**2. TRUST**

Complete trust; and more importantly their bodies. There is no want to perpetually diet. They do not track their calories, restrict or starve themselves, neither do they binge or overeat. They trust their bodies completely to guide them with their food and nutrition. They listen to their bodies consistently throughout the day and make choices based on what they really want and what will nourish them.

**3. COMMUNICATION**

Regular communication. They go through the day asking themselves ‘How I do I feel right now?’ or ‘What do I need right now?’ Then, they respond accordingly to whatever the answer may be. Have an open, running dialogue with yourself to ensure needs are constantly being met.

**4. ACCEPTANCE**

Idolize every detail of your body — flaws and all. Accept yourself for exactly who you are and do not try to change continuously. They accept that they are perfectly imperfectly and celebrate every single inch. Due to this, they do not give a blank, what anybody else cogitates.

**5. RESPECT**

Upmost respect. They communicate and answer to themselves with esteem. They do not talk hurt upon themselves, or harm in any way. Treasure your gorgeous selves with words and actions.

**6. HONESTY**

Are you truly honest with yourself? Individuals who adore themselves are authentic; they know who they really are and they stay true. They relinquish morality about what they desire and do not need. They are not nervous to utter no to something they do not want to do. They do not linger in affairs that they do not want to be in. There are constant shifts and changes from a place of love, to follow their dreams and live their best life as their truest self.

**7. FUN**

All great relationships have fun, right? Hopefully, yours do. Just how much fun are you having with yourself? Playful and fun. Make time to do things that are diverting, really light up. They do not take themselves too seriously and are not afraid to let their hair down a little.

**8. COMPARISON (OR LACK OF)**

Those who admire and do not compare themselves to others, especially other women. Understand that we are all unique in our supreme ways. Comparison is really common in the confuted competition I witness within the genders. Why? To stop comparing yourself with others, you have to understand that you can celebrate another individual’s success or beauty, without diminishing your own.

**9. CELEBRATE**

Truly loving yourself means celebrating every single thing about you. It is about observing all of your success and achievements — no matter how small. People need to solemnize every single day. Just like in a relationship, you would celebrate anniversaries or getting a house. In your relationship with yourself, you worship enough to honor your existence with gratitude.

Many people mistakenly believe that self-love is the same as narcissism, or having a big ego. It’s not.

Loving yourself does not mean you think you’re the smartest, most talented, and most beautiful person in the world.

Instead, when you cherish, you accept your so-called weaknesses, and appreciate these so-called shortcomings as something that makes you who you are. When you treasure identity you have compassion for character.

You take care of the ego, like you would care of a friend in distress. You treat yourself kindly. You do not nitpick and criticize yourself. For many, especially those of us who grew up in households that lacked love, or in which love waxed and waned, loving yourself will take effort. Self-love is a practice and it is a skill that takes work.

Self-love is not about instant gratification. A new pair of shoes or eating an entire pizza may make you feel good in the moment, but the feeling is not permanent— could be damaging in the long run. Self-love means giving yourself what your body, brain, and soul needs for the marathon that is life. It isn’t hedonism and it isn’t chasing a physical or emotional high. The practice of self-love is the practice of nourishing character.

Love yourselves.