The Psychology of Mean Girls: Understanding the Nature of Relational Aggression

The Dark Side of Adolescence Aggression

Mean girls, the stuff of movies and nightmares, are all too real in the adolescent world. The behavior of exclusion, rumor spreading, and manipulation can be devastating to its victims, leaving them with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. But why do some girls engage in this behavior and what can be done to stop it?

The Psychology Behind Mean Girls

Relational aggression (also known as alternative or social aggression) is defined as a type of aggression that is “intended to harm others through deliberate manipulation of their social standing and relationships” (Steinberg, Reyome & Bjornsen, 2001, p. 100). Psychologists have further classified relational aggression as a type of bullying (Olweus, 1991). It is a common behavior among young girls, particularly during the adolescent years, and is often referred to as “mean girl” behavior. Understanding the psychology behind this behavior is crucial in developing effective strategies for preventing and addressing it.

Factors that Contribute to Mean Girl Behavior

Adolescents place a great deal of importance on their peer relationships, which play a crucial role in their healthy psychological development. Peers offer essential new behavioral models and feedback that help shape an adolescent’s sense of self and identity formation. Interactions with peers also provide opportunities for practicing autonomy and decision-making skills, as well as promoting healthy sexual development, including the development of intimate friendships and appropriate sexual behavior.

Peer relationships also play a significant role in adolescents’ attitudes towards school and academic performance. Adolescents often form various cliques and belong to different crowds based on shared interests, musical preferences, fashion choices, or cultural background. These groups can vary in popularity and sociometric status, which can result in unhealthy, aggressive dynamics between groups. Aggression can also be used to control dynamics within a group. In some cases, aggression is directed towards an individual rather than a specific social group.

Adolescents can become victims of bullying for a variety of reasons, such as their appearance or speech, a disability, ethnicity, or religion. It is important to recognize the impact of peer relationships on adolescent development and to intervene when necessary to promote healthy and positive relationships among peers.

Mean girl behavior can take many forms, including exclusion, rumor spreading, and manipulation. According to a study by Crick and Bigbee (1998), girls who engage in relational aggression often do so to gain social power and control over their peers. This behavior is often motivated by a desire to improve one’s own social standing and to feel superior to others. It can also be driven by jealousy, insecurity, and a need for attention.

Relational aggression is not just a harmless phase that girls go through; it can have serious and long-lasting effects on its targets. Research has shown that victims of relational aggression are at higher risk for depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem (Crick & Grotpeter, 1995). Additionally, relational aggression can lead to a negative school climate, as well as contribute to the development of bullying behaviors (Crick, Casas & Nelson, 2002; Crick & Bigbee, 1998).

It is also worth mentioning that mean girl behavior is not limited to girls and can be exhibited by boys as well. However, research has consistently shown that girls are more likely to engage in relational aggression than boys (Crick & Bigbee, 1998). This may be due in part to cultural and social norms that encourage girls to value and prioritize relationships and social status, while discouraging them from engaging in physical aggression.

Another factor to consider is the impact of trauma and adverse childhood experiences on the development of mean girl behavior. Research has shown that individuals who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect in childhood are more likely to engage in aggressive behaviors, including relational aggression (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). This highlights the importance of addressing not only the symptoms of mean girl behavior, but also the underlying traumatic experiences and emotional difficulties that may contribute to it.

Finally, it is important to consider the role of privilege and power in mean girl behavior. Girls who come from privileged backgrounds may be more likely to engage in relational aggression, as they may feel entitled to control and manipulate their peers (Crick & Bigbee, 1998). Additionally, girls who hold positions of power and influence, such as those who are popular or athletic, may be more likely to engage in mean girl behavior, as they have the social capital and influence to do so.

Steps to Promote Positive Peer Relationships

So, what can be done to prevent mean girl behavior and its negative effects? One approach is to educate girls about the harmful nature of relational aggression and to encourage them to engage in pro-social behaviors instead. This can be done through school-based programs, as well as through parental guidance and mentorship. Additionally, it is important to address the underlying motivations behind mean girl behavior, such as jealousy and insecurity. This can be done through counseling and therapy, as well as through the promotion of positive self-esteem and self-worth.

Another approach is to address the social norms and cultural factors that contribute to mean girl behavior. For example, research has shown that the media and popular culture often glorify and romanticize mean girl behavior (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). By challenging these norms and promoting alternative role models and behaviors, we can help to shift the cultural attitudes that contribute to relational aggression.

Finally, it is crucial to address mean girl behavior when it occurs. This can involve confronting the aggressor, supporting the victim, and taking steps to restore the damaged relationships. It is also important to involve school and community leaders, as well as parents, in addressing relational aggression, as this behavior often extends beyond the classroom and into the wider community.

Mean girl behavior is a complex and serious issue that has significant impacts on the mental health and well-being of young girls. By understanding the psychology behind this behavior, as well as the cultural and social factors that contribute to it, we can develop effective strategies for preventing and addressing relational aggression.

For Further Reading

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References:

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.117.3.497

Crick, N. R. & Bigbee, M. A. (1998). Relational and overt forms of peer victimization: A multiinformant approach. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology. 66: 337–347. DOI: 10.1037/0022–006X.66.2.337

Crick, N. R., Casas, J. F., & Nelson, D. A. (2002). Toward a more comprehensive understanding of peer maltreatment: Studies of relational victimization Current Directions in Psychological Science. 11: 98–101. DOI: 10.1111/1467–8721.00177

Crick, N. R., & Grotpeter, J. K. (1995). Relational aggression, gender, and social-psychological adjustment. Child Development, 66(3), 710–722.

Olweus, D. (1991). Bully/victim problems among schoolchildren: Basic facts and effects of a school based intervention program. In D. J. Pepler & K. H. Rubin (Eds.), The development and treatment of childhood aggression (pp. 441–448). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum

Steinberg, L. D., Reyome, N. D., & Bjornsen, C. A. (2001). Study Guide for Use with Adolescence. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Higher Education.