Self | Creativity
The Proust Questionnaire Answered by @Claudia AKA Penofgold
An editor’s challenge by Tree Langdon
- What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Completion
Finished fourteen books read by souls in green nooks who wrote how the words took them to fun, soulful looks.
(Illustrated by photo above.)
2. What is your greatest fear?
Death by suffocation (or knife). (Although a recent fear is closing my video on a Zoom call, and hoping no technical fluke causes the video to turn back on while I’m naked or going to the bathroom.)
John C. Fremont Jr. High, Las Vegas
When partially closed were the locker room doors the children like sheep stampeded. They stepped on my my back, my hair — my breath — I felt sure I was close to a locker room death ‘till I saw top the lockers a friend’s standing brother, he lifted one up, then he lifted another. McCauley reached down, pulled me up from the floor saving breath which was what I most needed.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Lack of organization.
4. Which living person do you most admire?
The founder of Annunciation House in El Paso, Ruben Garcia whose agency has been helping immigrants with hospitality and practical matters, for years.
On a personal level one of my heroes is Linda Kavelin-Popov, the co-founder of The Virtues Project.
Human Cumin
There once was a Popov named Kavelin, who taught many virtues to revel in. She saw not my vices, but only my spices, thus named my creativity my cumin.
-
5. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Can’t think of any overrated virtues. Most are underrated. Though I don’t like the sound of some of them — Responsibility. Self-discipline. They sound too up tight, even though they can pave the way for flight.
I am a Facilitator for The Virtues Project. Those who study deeply the Virtues are uplifting people to have time with. They see virtues in what you give, who you are, and what you do, and name them to you.
It is a heart surprise that reminds me of….
What the Universe Gave Me, A Child
In Mt. Airy, by my home under weeping willow trees, age nine, while walking past the pink-tinged yellow roses, past the lilaac bush dad gave mom for their anniversary, to the sidewalk, I see in the snow what looks like a postage stamp. I reach down — it is a stamp, attached to a piece of envelope. I scoop it up. With each step, another stamp, faces of presidents, muted orange and blue, purple. The frosty air matches my delight. I stoop and stoop to collect up the block.
Home, I rinse stamps from paper, they are from the 40’s(!) and early 50’s. I usually have to pay for stamps like this! I hunt in my thick, black stamp book to find these stamps printed in black and white, and attach the ones I can.
The figures, colors and images deliver me to the mystery of history, and landscapes that open enticing views of a huge world that I can only imagine.
-
6. On what occasion do you lie?
When angry I’ve said things that later I dread, half-truths that shove ‘way all kindness and love.
7. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“I”, “me” and “share”
8. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
- Ask me in a few weeks, or when my daughter is in her 30’s. She is usually a big contender.
- Baha’u’llah, a world reformer, imprisoned and exiled most of his years, opens the mystic doors to my heart and blows me up to the size of my whole being.
9. When and where were you happiest?
Whenever I have a time reading sacred text, prayer and meditation time where it reaches deep and my heart is activated. Sometimes I write poetry during this time, or pull out calligraphy pens to curve creative words.
Besides this reflection time, I have felt such satisfaction facilitating expressive arts sessions with teens in an adolescent unit at a mental health hospital called Gateways. One teen, for example, drew a tree with no leaves on it, explaining he had no hope. I encouraged the writing talent that was pronounced in him. He was then able to draw one green leaf on the tree.
Of course there was the time of surprise with one of the clients, one of my favorites, who apparently was a sex worker of sorts. In a time for song in the group, she belted out, “Hava Nagila”. The manager came over saying she could hear it from down the hall. When I stopped working there the manager told me the dear client had brought in some high heeled boots for me.
10. Which talent would you most like to have?
The talent of completion, and of great self-editing. Also, the talent of being merciful every moment.
11. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
To trust and value the best creative works I’ve started and finish them, with all that that takes...
12. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
1) When with prayer and meditation I arrive at faith. 2) “All Things Baha’i” publishing a flip book of my poetry on-line. 3) Hopefully, it is a time with a client that the Creator thinks was my greatest achievement. I remember Reinee Passarow, who in a near death experience talk I attended said that she saw, while dead for 45 minutes, her greatest achievement: She had worked as a counselor at a camp for disabled children. Once she was kind to an unpopular boy, brought him water and talked with him. This was what stood out most in that heavenly realm.
13. Where would you most like to live?
A place where drivers are courteous, with flowing waters, safe winding roads with few sounds except of waterfalls and birds, where you can sit by streams, amidst green trees, not far from a college town.
14. What do you most value in your friends?
Loving words and gestures, their caring, listening, integrity, honesty, wise counsel, encouragement, common zest for dance, poetry, writing, spiritual faith, values for the betterment of the world. Oh, to enjoy laughing together and even to have the awkward misunderstanding while making a bridge with a person of a different race, age, ethnicity.
15. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
He Turns My World On
Abdu’l Baha is my secret, I read his love letters each day.
Though to others he penned And he knew me not then I love that he’d love me that way.
-
16. Who are your heroes in real life?
This life is somewhat real, and within it is the more real.
Within the more real I treasure the women, men and children of various minority spiritual persuasions, imprisoned, tortured or killed, who did not recant their beliefs when they could have saved themselves.
While answering this question, these computer keys began typing about people tortured and lynched.
Sacrifice OR Yes, I don’t know what it’s like to be Black
All the people cruelly charged: hung on tree bark so hard, the only words heard — whispers, “The Lord is my shepherd”.
About to be shot from canon, to scatter skin by the cruelty of hatred’s whim, his two children begged daddy to stay. He died for a world of unity, pointing to a rainbow ray.
Resources:
*Reconstruction in America: Racial violence after the civil war *Human Rights Watch: Religious minorities
17. What is your greatest regret?
The Worst War is Any War — for Women
My destiny Brought me to USC, My parents’ plan for a wealthy man’s hand.
(They did not know I’d go to a march against the Viet Nam War or sit in on the ROTC floor.)
At one summer break a cold sun did take me to hitchhike — oh what a mistake.
(When I was a teen, two policemen saw me hitching a ride, they told me I could get raped, I took it in stride.)
The driver, a marine held to my head a machine on TV shows seen, killing man, woman, teen.
(It wasn’t fun like on TV, now there are so many action shows I can’t see.)
Having practiced in Nam, hand-made bullets the plan, he shot thrice, to even score. I feel thousands of women tortured in war.
(In the Vietnam war where rape was systematic, the “double veterans” raped the women, then killed them with the automatic.)
[Sorry, but there are a lot of secrets about war-time, maybe because of the guilt and shame of participating in a immoral culture. We need to be aware of the atrocities to try to prevent war rather than build economy on it. It ts time the bloody truth comes out.]
I was so glad to survive. After I got away, as I saw the sunset I decided: Since I’m alive, I’m going to dance. I became a dance major at USC and still dance. I am writing a novel about a very special place for healing from sexual assault.
Another big regret:
Not making a career as a teacher of creative dance.
-
18. What is your motto?
One hour’s reflection is preferable to seventy years of pious worship. — Attributed in Haddith commentaries to Mohammed
Journal page I designed for reflection:
Thank you for reading, and I hope you had some enjoyment, or some scent of human experience, however familiar or unfamiliar to you, from visiting.
Claudia
