The Pros and Cons of a Sandals Resort Vacation
Is it Utopia?
Utopia- an imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect.
Is This Possible?
Clearly, Sandals is on the quest to create a utopia at their resorts. Leave all your cares at the door. There are no worries here…this is paradise. That is the goal, but is it the reality? Is utopia achievable? Or is utopia the place that cannot be?
The Pros & Cons of Sandals
For my honeymoon, my wife and I went to Sandals South Coast Resort in Jamaica. We flew into Montego Bay and hoped on a Sandal's bus. The bus ride was about 2 hours even though the resort was not very far away. This is because of Jamaica’s lack of quality highways. The ride to the resort leads me to my first “con”…
Con: You drive through exceptional poverty on your way to the resort- In other words, you feel like a dick. This is not Sandals’ fault, it’s just the reality of the island. No electricity, malnourished locals, dilapidated buildings, etc. These are all par for the course in Jamaica. You spend 2 hours feeling bad about what you are about to do as you drive to the resort. I couldn’t help but think that I was about to eat more in 6 days than most Jamaicans eat in 2 months. The guilt trip was real.
Pro: The Introduction- Sandals really knows how to lay out the red carpet for its customers. The entrance to the resort was like driving up to a castle. Beautiful decorations and smiling faces were there to greet us upon our arrival. We were led to our room which was covered in rose petals and chilled champagne awaited us on the balcony. What a first impression.
Pro: Endless Options- The next morning we woke up to an adult playground. It was a feeling I hadn’t had since I was a kid. The beach, pool, endless restaurants, bars, and entertainment were at our fingertips. You could swim in the ocean, grab a martini, a second lunch, and belly flop in the pool…all in 15 mins. You could order two drinks and pour one on your head if you wanted, the options were endless. Anything you wanted; you could have…
Con: …Well, Kind Of- “You gotta pay to play.” I literally heard someone say this while we were waiting in line for the sushi restaurant. We finally got a seat at the sushi restaurant on the final day. We had tried to get in for 5 straight days. This might confuse you. Don’t you get everything you want?
As in real life (and not in utopia), the biggest spenders will get the most access. I figured it was all “first come first serve.” I figured wrong. There are some (more expensive) room options that come with a butler. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GO! If you have a butler, they will make accommodations for you. If they make accommodations, you get to skip the line. That’s right! You get to skip over those peasants waiting in line. I did not know this before I came. I could wait in line for 25 mins for the sushi restaurant just to be told it would be a 2-hour wait.
“A two-hour wait, you say? But I’m first in line.”
It doesn’t matter. If there are reservations in front of you, you won’t get a table. The same goes for beach chairs. I thought I could use any beach chair I wanted, but many of them are reserved…by butlers.
Con: My least favorite part- The up-selling. Up-selling really takes away from the utopian aspect of Sandals. You will get pestered by salespeople at Sandals. This is a guarantee.
“Want to try a massage?”
“I can book you a front-row seat at the show tonight”
“Have you been to our spa?”
“Would you like to treat the lady to a candlelight dinner by the ocean?”
“Would you like a conch shell?”
I heard every one of these while at Sandals. I was actually quite disappointed in this aspect of the vacation. It was hard to completely relax while this was going on. You would even be approached while you were clearly trying to relax at the beach. I understand that making money is the goal (and that drunk people are easy to convince), but I had already paid enough upfront. I did not need to give anyone any more money, as far as I was concerned.
Pro: The no-tipping rule- This is where Sandals separates themselves from other all-inclusives. Their no-tipping policy is clutch. In fact, it’s against the rules. This is a good rule because tipping creates a hierarchy. It always has, and it always will. If you are waving a $20 bill in the air, the bartender will come to you first. Sandals is huge on their customer service and quality control a.k.a. they want to keep their customers happy.
You should never have to take cash into a swim-up bar (wet dollar bills? really?). When you’ve paid that much money upfront, you should be served equally. Sandals understand this. Sandals understand that other all-inclusive resorts that allow this, come off as cheap. That’s because they are. Sandals is a brand name, and they don’t want to water down that brand name.
Overall- Our Sandals vacation was an absolute blast. I highly recommend it. We stayed for 6 days. I would not recommend going over that. 6 days was perfect. Long enough to enjoy everything the resort has to offer, short enough not to overeat and not feel monotonous with the activities the resort has to offer.
