The Problem With Gratitude Albums and How To Avoid It!

What I found out after 2 months of my app being launched.

As I said in a previous article I have launched an application called Gratibum, the Gratitude Album. Its main feature is to help you keep a gratitude album and remind you of your moments of gratitude occasionally.

There was a time in my life when I was super low. I tried a lot of things to get me out of it and gratitude is what helped me a lot!

Although I think that each person is unique and there is no one way that can help everyone, I found that gratitude is one that can help as many as possible.

That is where my idea of Gratibum, the Gratitude album, came from!

After 2 months we got our second release and some feedback. One of them was particularly interesting, and counterintuitive.

I have a friend who used Gratibum a lot, and after some time of using it, she told me that she deleted the app because it triggered her a lot.

That intrigued me! What happened? That sounded like the opposite of what I wanted to happen! And then she told me that it reminded her of her recently failed relationship.

And that’s when it hit me!

Gratitude is tricky!

What happened was that a lot of her gratitude was linked to her boyfriend and her relationship. When that broke being reminded of the nice moments from the past, reminded her of the pain she felt when they broke up. Thus the triggers and finally the removal of Gratibum 😥

This made me realize that gratitude is tricky. What you are grateful for now, can disappear in the future. That alone will hurt very much, but linking your mood and healing process to it will hurt even worse. Not to mention being reminded of it.

Given that everything can change and disappear, around us and within us, linking our healing process and our well-being to anything is dangerous and can provoke pain. In this idea gratitude in it’s self is not good for us.

So, what can we do?

I have two ideas that can help here.

First is acceptance!

As I said, everything changes, you change, the environment around you, the people around you, your needs, your pleasures, your view of the world. This is just how the world is, this is what makes it awesome. Sometimes these changes make you feel good, sometimes they make you feel bad 😥, and sometimes they make you feel awesome😆.

But with the change around you, so does what you are grateful for. Now you can be grateful for a hug you got from a loved one, a kiss, or an evening walk. Tomorrow, that person could not be there with you, but that will not change what you felt yesterday. Those feelings are still valid, the love, warmth, and tenderness exist. Yes, you don’t feel them now, and the desire to feel them again hurts, and that pain is difficult to ignore. But what gratitude gives us is the habit of finding something to be grateful for, even with the pain inside us. Maybe for the memories, maybe for the fact that you now know how it feels like to be loved, maybe for a cup of tea, cozy under the blanket at home.

And that is the magic of gratitude. It trains you to see what is nice around you!

And second is faith!

I know that change is scary! I know that not knowing what is coming and the possibility of something worse is terrifying! I also know that you, and me, and your friends, and my friends, and the people we don’t know, we all are stronger than we think we are.

And, yes, you included. You are strong! You made it this far, and you have a lot of awesome stories, experiences, and lessons from all you lived. Yes, it was not always a smooth road. There were bumps rocks, and branches on the road. But after each bump, there was a smooth surface, after each branch, there were some beautiful leaves, after each hard part, there was a stronger you. And now you are stronger than you have ever been.

If now is hard, believe that, as before, it will be easier. If it hurts now, believe that it will feel boog again.

Accept that what was, was awesome, and now if it is not anymore that is okay, and have faith that there will be something else that will be awesome.

Thank you for reading! Please check Gratibum up here:

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