avatarDon Simkovich, MA

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The Power of Struggling for Success

Photo by Radu Florin on Unsplash

Why does everyone else seem successful?

I was reading yet another interview with a self-published author who wrote a novel that was selling dozens of copies every day. I can’t remember the author’s name or title of the book but I do remember one of the questions about mid-way through the text-based interview and the author’s answer:

Q: Why do you think your story is selling so well?

A: I don’t know. The sales [on Amazon] were slow for the first week and then suddenly it picked up and started selling 60 to 70 copies a day.

A discouraging dialogue. I wanted a lesson that I could implement, but she didn’t know why her book gained traction even though she rocketed toward the top.

Knowing what little I do about Amazon’s algorithm, I figured it was a well-written story and somehow word of mouth referrals kicked in and the book started making money. Okay, good for her.

My fiction writing partner and I are releasing our fourth novel and our sales have been — let’s just say that we’re working hard, but we haven’t hit pay dirt like this particular author. We’ve struggled to make sales.

While the numbers are lower than what we’d like, our writing journey has taught me a number of truths about struggling — and the benefits that come with striving for success.

Struggling is Natural

Consider a baby chick hatching. The chick struggles to peck through the shell, but the effort made is part of their maturing process. Concerned folks raising baby chicks at home in an incubator want to jump in and help the little creatures to freedom.

This apparent act of kindness interrupts nature’s tough lessons. “Chicks you help out of the shell are likely to be weak and will need some extra time in a warm spot where they won’t be picked on,” as noted in the Waldeneffect.org in an article “How to help chicks during hatching.”

Helping a baby chick escape its shell means that you will likely have to euthanize the little creatures because they may not have been well enough to survive.

Success without struggle seems alluring and desirable. The downside is that you don’t learn how to become strong in order to endure.

Struggle Teaches Responsibility

Educator Jim Fay, co-author of the parenting course Parenting with Love and Logic, has practical tips that are worth reading over and over for parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches and anyone else who works with kids.

In his paperback Tickets to Success, he tells the story of being principal in a school where kids forgot their lunches, their sweatsuits and their homework.

The kids’ solution was to call their parents who promptly inconvenienced themselves and dropped off whatever item the child forgot. The kids didn’t have to struggle. They got bailed out.

He put a stop to the phone calls to home and the parents’ work. If the kids forgot their sweats then they had to practice after school in shorts and get cold in chilly weather. They got demerits on their homework.

Push back from families who were outraged was so strong that he wondered if he would lose his job. He wrote an editorial in the local paper and explained how he wanted the same goal as the parents — raise children into responsible adults.

The community got the lesson and the students learned to make better choices as they matured from their struggles.

Struggling Makes Comparisons Tempting

Ever see those business publications like Inc magazine with their 40 Under 40 or, worse yet, 30 under 30 profiles of young entrepreneurs who have built multi-million dollar businesses? Skim the articles and you would never know they broke a sweat.

Meanwhile, I get tempted to wonder how much longer I can keep sweating.

It’s tempting to moan, “Would it be so bad if I did something that succeeded and made money?”

I often feel like Tevye in Fiddle on the Roof who was told, “Money is the world’s curse.”

We can identify with his reply, “Then may the Lord smite me with it.”

Yes. It just might be bad to get lucky and start reaping a comfortable flow of cash without having to learn from a struggle. How much do you really learn about those who are profiled?

I interviewed a young entrepreneur under thirty who was running a wildly successful company. It consumed her life.

How much do you know about those who are profiled? Are their personal relationships as shiny as their businesses?

What if we could interview them again in ten to fifteen to thirty years? What struggles would they have faced and endured or learned from?

Comparing your struggling self with a successful somebody else is tempting because our society highlights success stories while ignoring the tough road to achievement. Don’t do it. You’ll become jealous and discouraged.

Don’t wish that life was easier, wish that you were better. That’s a quote from the late Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker who made a million in his mid-20s, lost it by thirty, and learned how to build his wealth again.

Consider the many life lessons that you’re learning. Each one is valuable. If you’re too old to be featured in a 40 under 40 type article, then keep pushing ahead. You’re learning valuable lessons to use as a mentor or to pass along to children and grandchildren.

Struggle Makes You Find Solutions

If you wrote a novel that just flew off the shelves and roared through Amazon’s rankings in to the Top 100, you’d be elated but could you repeat the success?

You don’t have a template for what worked, and you might not be able to sustain the positive trend.

Marketing fiction is a grind for indie authors. Getting noticed seems like almost pure luck.

The reality is that you need a body of work and you need a system for connecting with readers.

I’ve read reams on starting an email list. Through our Facebook page and with people we know, we started a modest list with just over 20 people. Then I read about doing giveaways to increase the list.

In June 2018 my writing partner and I did a giveaway contest for our books using a free version of King Sumo — and we did it again in August 2018. We boosted our list to 55 subscribers with an outlay of about thirty dollars.

In the spring 2019, I started writing an enewsletter about once to twice a month and we’d link to our blog and we also linked to our books on Amazon when we lowered our prices.

We found what posts on our Facebook page people have enjoyed, too.

Then we kept writing our fourth novel and as we came close to finishing we decided to do another giveaway. I realized something. Although we’ve struggled to make sales, our email subscribers stayed constant and our newsletters had open rates of about 35% to 45% on a regular basis.

Without realizing it, we’ve grown a small fan base with people who are connected to us.

We did another contest and added several more names. Now, I can envision a system for marketing our fiction.

We’re releasing our fourth novel the week of October 7th and our fan base has grown. It’s still a tiny size at several dozen subscribers but I can see the value of once a month contests.

Our struggle and determination to not quit has led to the beginnings of a fiction marketing system.

Struggle can Lead You to Community

When you’re searching for answers, struggle can lead you to get help. The process of finding help may be painful, but the outcome can be positive and serve as a way of meeting others who have had success.

People are made for relationships whether that’s working with a business mentor and coach or life coach or finding strength in a faith community. Those who finally want free from addiction know the value of personal support which is why groups like Alcoholics Anonymous are popular.

My wife and I in our early days of foster parenting and eventually adopting, had unique challenges that none of our closest friends of relatives could understand.

Our kids were just like every other child at one level, but they came out of tough conditions and needed time to heal and to integrate into our family’s life. We were able to share stories with others who were building their families like we were and that helped in our difficulties as parents.

Today, we can see the successes that our children have that include steady employment and relationships with each other.

A community that doesn’t shut you out and shame you, but instead welcomes you, is one to cling to and seek answers from. That’s one way to receive solace and encouragement in your struggles.

Struggles can Leave an Enduring Legacy

Fort Ligonier was the site of key battles as the British and French fought for control of the Ohio River and North America. It’s perched on a bluff overlooking Route 30 and is only a few miles from my childhood home. The restored fort that was originally built in the late 1750s has exhibits that have stirred my imagination since childhood.

One is a diorama that shows four men gritting their teeth to push a cannon pulled by an ox up what it is now Laurel Mountain. Rocks, thick tree roots and a steep incline made transporting one piece of artillery a monumental task.

What happened over the years?

The winding trail that was cut through thickets and woods became a well-worn stagecoach path connecting Philadelphia with Pittsburgh. And that eventually became a highway for trucks shipping valuable goods for businesses and homeowners.

The men who were sweating and in agony in the late 1750s couldn’t see how their struggle would leave an enduring legacy, but it did.

My father played a role in launching the first satellite that the U.S. sent into space. His work balancing the cone of the Vanguard satellite that was launched in 1958 laid a foundation for the first Apollo moon landing in 1969.

He was one person, working on a team, that brought America into the space age.

What is your struggle in starting a business, raising children or re-positioning yourself for success?

Don’t wish that the struggle would vanish and disappear. As hard as it is, embrace it and learn from it to become your best.

And remember, what you work hard to achieve now can turn into a legacy that you leave as a blessing and hope for your family and future generations.

Entrepreneurship
Self
Life Lessons
Self Improvement
Life
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