The Power of Softness

The French writer La Fontaine has a fable.

Once, the north wind and the south wind made a bet to see who could take off the coat of a passerby.

The north wind struck first, and it blew a fierce cold wind, but passers-by wrapped their coats more tightly.

Then came the south wind, which slowly blew a warm breeze.

Under this gentle blow, people felt warm and began to take off their coats.

The north wind wanted to use brute force to make passers-by take off their clothes, but it backfired, and the south wind used a weak warm wind to achieve its goal.

In this world, mildness often triumphs over rage, and weakness often defeats strength.

As the writer Cao Wenxuan said: “The most powerful matter in the world is not heavy and rigid, but soft and soft.” ”

If everything is too rigid, it is easy to break, and if it is too strong, it will be difficult to last for a long time.

Learn to deal with the world with softness and know how to overcome rigidity with softness, so that you can always win a favorable situation for yourself.

01

Soft speech is a kind of cultivation.

I’ve seen a story.

Former U.S. President Coolidge is usually very friendly to others, although he usually speaks little.

Coolidge has a female secretary who is very capable, but she is very careless, which leads to frequent mistakes in her work.

On one occasion, the secretary printed the wrong document.

Just when she thought she was going to face criticism, Coolidge said to her:

“The clothes you are wearing today are so beautiful, just right for a young and beautiful lady like you.”

The female secretary was flattered.

However, Coolidge changed his tone and continued: “But don’t be proud, I’m sure your ability to handle work will be as beautiful as yours.” ”

Hearing this, she lowered her head in embarrassment.

From that day on, the female secretary began to change her attitude, worked more seriously, and never made any mistakes.

I agree with such a sentence: “People with really high emotional intelligence are easy to say bad things and soft to say cruel things.”

Speaking softly reflects respect and consideration for others, as well as a person’s own self-cultivation.

Getting along with people, rather than arguing with words, is more comfortable with gentle words.

The writer Liu Yong has a friend who works as a supervisor in the company and manages dozens of people.

When the supervisor asks employees to come to the office for a meeting, he never says, “You come to my office,” but “I’ll wait for you in the office.”

A simple and friendly sentence not only won the favor of his employees, but also made the work more smoothly.

Writer Darcy said that softness of speech is an art that conveys information in a gentle, tactful, and delicate way that makes people feel comfortable and respected.

Gentle words are like spring breeze and rain, moisturizing things silently, melting the iceberg between people unconsciously.

Speak softly, not deliberately flattering, but take others to heart and be considerate everywhere.

Words are left three points soft, and people are left seven points warm.

When you speak, slow down your speech and try to be as gentle as possible, so that you will naturally be more comfortable with others.

02

The body is soft, which is a kind of realm.

In the Xi’an Terracotta Warriors and Horses Museum, there is a “kneeling figurine”, which is known as the treasure of the town hall.

It is the only terracotta warrior that has been preserved intact for more than 2,000 years, and the lines of the clothes and hair are still clearly visible.

Why is it so intact?

According to archaeological experts, this is largely due to its low profile.

The terracotta pit is an underground tunnel-type structure, and when the roof collapses, the first thing to be impacted is the high-profile terracotta figurines.

Secondly, the kneeling figurines bend their bodies, with their center of gravity under the body, and their stability is greatly enhanced compared to the standing figurines.

In real life, we are actually the same as this kneeling figurine.

When you know how to lower your posture and make your body softer, you will naturally be able to better stand in the world.

The host Ni Ping once wrote about her own experience in the book.

When she first entered the TV station, in order to fight for the opportunity to perform, she agreed to host a few episodes of programs that did not receive good ratings.

Unexpectedly, when she went to the host who was originally in charge of the show to ask for the script, the other party deliberately threw the script on the ground and ridiculed her.

In the face of this humiliation, Ni Ping wanted to leave.

But in order not to miss this opportunity, she still silently picked up the script and took the initiative to ask the other party for experience.

As a result, it was this “picked up job” that made her appreciated by the leadership, successfully entered “Variety Show”, and finally became famous in one fell swoop.

The ancients said that the water will eventually return to the sea because of goodness, and the mountains will become peaks without competing for height.

It’s inevitable that everyone will fall into a trough or be embarrassed by others.

refuses to be angry, unwilling to eat a little grievance, and goes-for-tat with others in everything, so he can only be suppressed more.

Only by putting down your body can you avoid collisions and strengthen yourself quietly.

Learn to put away the unnecessary edges and corners, pull out the extra thorns on the body, be able to endure what others can’t endure, and be able to do what others can’t.

03

The means are soft, and it is a pattern.

Someone on Zhihu asked: “What is the most difficult thing to do in the world?” ”

There was a high praise reply at the bottom: “Point to point.” ”

Don’t act too toughly, be softer in your means, and leave others a little leeway, so that you can turn big things into small things and make the road wider.

During the Republic of China, Xu Miao, editor-in-chief of the News, once asked the novelist Zhang Hatshui for a manuscript.

When it came to the appointed date, Zhang Hatshui did not deliver the manuscript for a long time.

Xu Miao called to inquire.

On the phone, Zhang Hatshui apologized again and again, saying that he had recently returned to the countryside and only came back today, asking for another two days.

After Xu Miao hung up the phone, a colleague from the newspaper said angrily:

“He obviously forgot and deliberately lied, I saw him in the hotel yesterday, let me reason with him!”

Xu Miao hurriedly stopped him and said, “Since he said this, there must be a reason, why bother to debunk it.” ”

Two days later, Zhang Hatshui, who thought he was at a loss, personally sent the manuscript and never delayed the manuscript since.

It didn’t take long for his novels to be sought after by countless people.

And Xu Miao’s failure to pursue it at the beginning made Zhang Hatshui the golden sign of “News”.

This kind of soft way of doing things allows Xu Miao to always successfully resolve crises, solve problems, and eventually become a famous publisher.

There is a saying: “In this world, everyone will have a horse high and short, and when the mountains and rivers are exhausted, leave some leeway, is to give yourself some way out.” ”

Everyone in life will encounter unsatisfactory personnel, and tough confrontation will only escalate the conflict and become out of control.

It’s better to take a step back at the right time to give three points, and don’t dig too deep and calculate.

As stated in “Zhu Zi’s Family Motto”:

“There should be room for everything, and it is not appropriate to be proud; There must be room for doing things, and we must be responsible for doing our best. ”

If you don’t do things absolutely, it seems to be convenient for others, but in fact, it is also to save yourself from future troubles and save affection.

Be a man and leave a line, and see each other in the future.

The means are softer, do not do everything, and leave some appropriate space, so that you can advance and retreat calmly and live freely.

04

A soft heart is a blessing.

“Zizhi Tongjian” records a story of “losing horses and giving wine”.

During the Spring and Autumn Period, Qin Mugong’s favorite horse was lost and was caught and eaten by the people under the mountain.

Soon, the civilians were captured by the soldiers.

According to the laws of the Qin Dynasty, these people were to be beheaded for theft.

When Qin Mugong learned about it, he couldn’t bear it, so he ordered all of them to be released and invited them to drink together.

A few years later, the Jin State attacked the Qin State, and Qin Mugong was surrounded by enemies.

When his life was hanging by a thread, the people who had killed horses and eaten meat suddenly came out and rescued Qin Mugong to repay his kindness.

Qin Mugong didn’t expect that his kind act would save the people and save his own life.

As the old saying goes, those who love love to return, and those who are blessed come to come.

Having a soft heart and knowing how to be kind to others is your greatest blessing.

A few years ago, farmer Yan Zhidong was on his way home when he heard a girl crying out for help.

He followed the sound and found that 3 children had fallen into the river and were desperately throwing and calling for help.

When Yan Zhidong saw it, he immediately jumped into the river and rescued the three children.

A year later, Yan Zhidong’s daughter was diagnosed with leukemia.

In order to treat his daughter, he spent all his savings and borrowed money from everywhere, but he still couldn’t make up the cost of the operation.

Just when he was worried about this, netizens knew what happened to him.

His deeds of saving people have also been exposed, and countless people have reached out to him.

The original good deeds finally allowed Yan Zhidong to receive a love donation of 300,000 yuan and save his daughter’s life.

The writer Charles Dickens said that without strong love, without a loving heart, without a compassionate heart, a person will never be happy.

The world is round, and how you treat others, others will repay you.

Have charity in your heart, and you will be blessed; Do many good deeds, and you will reap good results.

With a soft heart, learn to help and support others, and one day, you will also be treated well by others.

In the Tao Te Ching, the disciple Shang Rong asked Lao Tzu: Why is it that when people are old, their teeth are gone, but their tongues are still there?

Lao Tzu replied:

“The reason why the teeth are lost is because they are too strong; And because the tongue is soft, it can always be there. ”

In this world, everything is too rigid and easy to break, and softness is the way to live in the world.

Learn to lower your posture, grasp the measure, say less cruel words, and do more good deeds.

Cultivate a soft heart, be able to stretch and bend, advance and retreat, in order to live a more transparent and resilient life.