The Power of Seeing Where the Prostitute Archetype Shows Up in Your Life
How recognising where we sell out on our values and talents can help us remain true to ourselves
To be clear, this article isn’t about sex work. And nor does it intend, in any way, to disrespect those who choose sex work as a profession.
I’m talking about how the prostitute archetype shows up in our professional lives, and the gift it brings to be true to one’s own values and talents.
prostitute. noun. 1 : a person who engages in sexual intercourse in exchange for pay 2 : a person (such as a writer or painter) who deliberately debases his or her talents (as for money) — Merriam-Webster Dictionary
What makes me qualified to write about this? Mainly the fact that I am human and have been in the business of being true to myself (or attempting to) for my entire life.
Professionally, I have faced countless decisions that have forced me to weigh my own values and those of the organisations I work for. As a coach, part of my role is to help people connect and align with their deepest values.
The 4 universal archetypes
In her book, Sacred Contracts, Caroline Myss shares four archetypes all humans have in common. The book also outlines how we each possess, express, and are drawn to a unique combination of other archetypes that make us individuals.
The four universal archetypes:
- Victim — there will always be one area of our lives where we perceive ourselves as a victim. For some it may be professionally, for others in relationships or money or health, amongst others.
- Inner child — we will each have a connection with some aspect of our childhood that carries through our adult lives.
- Saboteur — we will each have unique self-sabotage patterns that get in the way of our success.
- Prostitute — there will be situations and contexts in our lives where compromising or selling out on one’s values is easy and tempting.
I was quite dismissive when I first read this, as I have a strong distrust for one-size-fits-all theories. But I gave the process a go and explored it with several people I know to find the principles outlined by Myss appear to have a universal quality.
Recognising the prostitute in oneself
It was easier for me to see how the victim, child and saboteur showed up in my life. It was harder or more confronting for me to look at the archetype of the prostitute.
Here’s an abbreviated list of how Caroline Myss defines the qualities of the Prostitute:
— engages lessons in the sale or negotiation of your integrity or spirit based on fears of physical or material survival or for financial gain — should be understood as the selling (or selling-out) of talents, ideas, and any other expression of the self — Shadow Prostitute assesses all transactions only in terms of how they profit you, not what they will cost you spiritually. Caroline Myss
Several friends have shared they feel like they are prostituting their values and talents by working for big carbon polluters.
Shifting societal and personal values around climate change and environmental protection have caused people to look at whether their employer aligns with their values. Indeed, there have been several prominent cases of executives leaving big companies with fanfare in an act of protest.
This is a real bind. In the war for talent, employers are willing to pay top dollar for certain professions to make their businesses more competitive. It is no doubt tempting for people to accept financially lucrative offerings in uncertain economic times.
I’ve worked in nonprofits for most of my adult life. While this may sound noble, it doesn’t mean the sector is insulated from the traps of prostitution. Indeed, as nonprofits are explicitly values driven, there can be an even greater risk of compromising values.
The nonprofit world can be very competitive where economic survival and sustainability is a continuous or daily concern for many charities.
Years ago, I worked for a youth charity that promoted healthy lifestyles. Because of our brand recognition, a large fast-food chain wanted to become a ‘partner’ and donate a considerable amount of money.
The level of funding would have alleviated our financial stress and helped us gain access to even more young people but doing so would have meant compromising our values. We said no.
The same can be said for an environmental charity taking money off mining corporations, or a charity supporting low socio-economic families taking money off exploitative banks.
Upping the stakes
Ethics are a luxury of the rich.
There’s a saying that ethics are a luxury afforded by the wealthy. When people are living on the poverty line or with financial stress, affording organic foods or ethically sourced products becomes out of reach, despite one’s values wishing they could.
To be clear, this is not prostituting one’s values. But the idea of financial security providing a buffer for making ethical values-aligned choices is still very relevant.
The dilemma of mission-prostitution is a rare consideration of robust charities with extensive resources. The more financial insecurity increases, the more mission-prostitution is tempting.
The gift of the prostitute has shown up in my life since I ventured out on my own. After twenty-five years of drawing an income as an employee, I am now self-employed.
As I build my business and attract potential clients, I am now in a position of having to discern who I want to work with from a values perspective.
If my only criteria for accepting work is the money, I could venture into all kinds of misaligned territory. The bigger mission is to stay true to myself and my values, regardless of the outcome.
I feel fortunate to work as a coach where these conversations are made explicit. Coaching has helped me — as both coach and client — to continually connect with my own values and how they are expressed. I know this happens for my clients too.
The gift of the prostitute archetype
Recognising when the prostitute archetype shows up in your life can be a real gift. It’s a recognition that can invite you to slow down and attend to where we are compromising on your values and how to live in a more aligned way.
The antidote to succumbing to the traps of the prostitute archetype is to be clear about your values. Some questions one might ask include:
- What’s important to you?
- How do you communicate your values to the world?
- How might you recognise when you aren’t living in alignment with your highest values?
- What helps you get back on track?
To be sure, values work is a continuous journey. Values change and morph as we move through different chapters of our life, which makes it even more important to continuously explore how they play out in our lives.
This is one of the great gifts coaches can provide their clients — the opportunity to connect more deeply with their values and reflect on how one can more truly align with them in thoughts, words, and actions.
The prostitute archetype isn’t one to be avoided. Rather, when embraced, it serves as a chance to become more true to ourselves.
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